divorcing his wife?

Once you expose them they wash their hands of you. Suddenly you are "unstable and crazy" , a liar.... when before you were "special" and "different"

If it hadnt been for your location and mention of a 3 year old I would have strongly suspected you were describing my first therapist, who treated me in much the same way and incidentally is also currently separated from his wife (which I know because he contacted me to tell me!).
I used to think what I had with him was therapeutic, and that he was making me happy and supporting me etc, but it was only when I took a break from him to process the transference with another therapist that I found out what therapy should look like. Believe me, this ain't it. You are paying money to meet his needs. What a sweet deal for him, and what a rip off for you.
Oversharing therapist inevitably means he hasn't got adequate support in his life, whether that be his own therapist or supervision or whatever else it takes not to use the client in this way. It makes me really sad to hear about therapists acting this way, on many levels.

The thing is inside that room he knows he is safe, nothing he says or does can go anywhere.
He has known you for a long time, and when his marriage was good he never said anything.
Now he wants out and suddenly there are new options all around.
I have read more posts than I care to mention about this type of situation.
And never ever has it ended well. The only person who loses is the client.
Be careful honey, he says you know him better than anyone, in My opinion an extremely leading remark.
If his boundaries are this loose with you, you just don't know that he isn't like that with others.
You also have no idea what the real reasons behind his bad marriage are.
You would be surprised how many therapists have terrible marriages because they can't be,wrong.

And how. Many of their wives will turn a blind eye and then support them through their trial.
Eugh, the list goes on.
Ultimately he is being careless, over sharing and giving you too much of his life. It does sound like he has just become too relaxed as opposed to vindictive and manipulative. But he will become aware at some point.
Then,
He can either help you like he is meant too or damage you like has happened to many others here.
And I would listen to them because 10-20 years on they are still deeply damaged by what happened to them.

And everyone of them would have said, "oh but my t isn't like that,he cares too much."


I am sorry this post sounds like a lecture, I guess it's become a bit of a trigger for me because I have read so much about the hurt and damage that has been caused by incompetent or just plain manipulative therapists.
It is heartbreaking to hear.

I guess that so long as you feel like it's your therapy, that your progressing towards being an independent functioning rationalizing individual, then your doing ok.
Please be careful, because it doesn't sound like he is.
Take care.

The ultimate goal of therapy is to learn to live for yourself, not to live for your therapist. By the time you've been in therapy for 3 years there should be some sense of wanting to live for yourself, not just for him.

Your therapist sounds quite manipulative. I don't believe he's looking to divorce his wife, I believe he's crossing boundaries with you.

There are loads of people who will gladly lead someone into a relationship - especially a sexual relationship - by having the person believe their current relationship is ending when the truth is, they have absolutely no plans at all to end the current relationship. They're just bored and frustrated, telling lies, avoiding truths. I know this for a fact, because I was someone who led a man into believing I would divorce my husband to be with the other man. Truth is, I had absolutely no intention of divorcing my husband. I was just bored and frustrated with my marriage (to a degree), and looking for another chance at youthful opportunity. Like all situations that start out with such chaos and deception, it ended absolutely horrifically for both the man and I.

You can do what you want to do, maybe that means getting into a sexual relationship with your therapist and it'll be thrilling for a second, but then WOW are you gonna get hurt and messed up. I can promise that.

And too, maybe this fantasy is kind of all in your head and your therapist would tell another story.

wow. you're all really truthful and helpful. thank you. i appreciate it.