[chess110417]

Hi All,

I am curious to get other's opinions about something that happened to me during psychotherapy. I'm a young female (early 30's) and my psychiatrist who had been giving me weekly therapy is a middle aged man. There had been sessions where I started getting an indication he might be attracted to me. At the end of one session he stopped speaking and suddenly started staring at me. This went on for several minutes (in silence) until finally I looked away. I was about to leave his office and reached to get my bag off the floor (I was sitting on his couch). When my head came back up he was standing right in front of me and blocking me from standing up off the couch. His pelvis was super close to my face and he just stood there looking down at me for quite a while. Finally he started to walk away and I got up off the couch. He said he had my bill and reached to get it off his desk. He was handing it to me, but when I reached to grab the bill from him, he started to draw the bill close into his body and slightly behind him so that the fronts of our bodies would have to touch in order for me to take the paper from him. I was very disturbed by the encounter and decided to stop seeing him so I left him a message saying that I'm seeking therapy elsewhere. In response to this he left me a voice message saying that he was very sorry for "spooking" me and that he was just trying to push me so he can figure out "what's underneath it all" and just kept bumbling on for 4 minutes saying he knows I'm "spooked" and that he'd like me to come back next week so we can talk about it and that he'd love to see me. I felt that this encounter was a deep betrayal as I'd been seeing him for several years and saw him like a father. I also have ptsd and depression from sexual abuse as a child and from my early twenties. I'm not sure if this is just my ptsd kicking in, or if this therapy session was abnormal? I'm wondering if this is a known psychotherapy technique or what? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

[SummerTime12]

To me this sounds really abonormal and inappropriate. I would feel super uncomfortable if my therapist did this, I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. It also sounds like he was very aware of what he was doing based on the way he apologized for “spooking” you. I could be wrong, but I’m wondering if he was hoping you’d respond in a different way and when that didn’t happen, he tried to backtrack to cover his *****.
I’m so sorry you were put in this situation

[nicoleflynn]

That was a sick, weird game.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by SummerTime12

To me this sounds really abonormal and inappropriate. I would feel super uncomfortable if my therapist did this, I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. It also sounds like he was very aware of what he was doing based on the way he apologized for “spooking” you. I could be wrong, but I’m wondering if he was hoping you’d respond in a different way and when that didn’t happen, he tried to backtrack to cover his *****.
I’m so sorry you were put in this situation

I agree with all of this. He knew what he was doing. I wouldn't go back.

[lucozader]

It does sound like he was behaving very oddly. Whatever his intentions, it wasn't appropriate and it clearly really upset you. I'm sorry you've experienced this and I think you did the right thing in finding someone else.

I agree with the comments above. Either he knew exactly what he was doing to possibly provoke reactions from you that would please him, or acted very impulsively, inappropriately, and out of control. If this a new experience after years of relatively harmonious, helpful therapy, perhaps I would want to address with him directly and confront him on what this was meant to achieve. If it's been repetitively, increasingly shady and manipulative by him, I would not waste my time, money and mental energy on discussing it further and find someone else.

[maybeblue]

Not normal. Creepy and completely inappropriate. He knows it was too, and tried to cover it up by making it somehow therapeutic. Frankly I wouldn't just stop seeing him, I'd make a formal complaint about it. Nothing might come of it, but at least he would be warned not to do that crap.

I don't have PTSD, but I would be seriously upset about that if it had happened to me. You aren't over-reacting. Your instincts are right on track.

[zoiecat]

This is totally innapropriate. My T who is a trauma specialist will not even pull his chair closer to do EMDR without first asking my permission to come closer. I always tell him it is not necessary as he still ends up at least 3 feet away but he always says as a male therapist working with a female of my trauma background it is necessary.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Be cautious.

[growlycat]

Report him if you are able to. Physically looming, blocking, or making a patient get too close is super creepy and beyond inappropriate. He is backpedaling to cover his rear end

[precaryous]

Inappropriate, manipulative and creepy. IMO, there’s nothing to work out here. If he feels free to do that with you he likely has done this to other clients.

Don’t go back.

[I'mNotDonneYet]

I agree with everyone here as well. DO indeed trust your gut - but here it's not just your "gut" talking it's also your "head." His behavior was inappropriate. The staring alone would be enough to convince me something is "off" with T.

[mcl6136]

Sounds manipulative and bent. No need for any contact going forward.This is not going to get better and could be whole lot worse.

[southernsky]

I'm sorry that happened to you. Hugs to you.

[Erebos]

Same as above...well out of order...in so many ways.