Struggling (still) to confront therapist regarding "sexualizing" our therapy

nicoleflynn · Sep 06, 2018 at 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missbella

In this case you don’t necessarily have to speak up when voting with your feet will impart the message. Dragging their garbage is opposite of how it’s supposed to work.

Nothing I said got through to my bully therapist. Leaving had to suffice. He later served on the ethics board himself.

I agree with you...voting with my feet! Your t served on an ethics board? holy cow! Hard to know what t you can trust!

Ididitmyway · Sep 06, 2018 at 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missbella

He later served on the ethics board himself.

This makes me sick, especially when I know how often this happens. My last T, the one I reported to the board and who eventually got disciplined, also attempted to serve on the ethics board of his professional association. In fact, he had already gotten elected as the board's chair when I heard this news from one of his colleagues. This happened at the time when I started realizing what kind of mess I got myself into and how much he had exploited me and I had confronted him many times by then.

When I heard that he was put in a position to judge cases in terms of ethics, I was not having it. I called him and told him that if he doesn't resign from the position immediately, I would inform his association about what he did to me and I would make sure every single person there knows about it. I also said that I'd inform his employer about it and will also make sure that as many people as possible know about it, which would include HR, admin. etc. I was dead serious. I didn't care about being sued for defamation or anything like that. I just didn't care. I was going to do that. He realized that this wasn't an empty threat. He told me that he would submit his resignation letter the next day and then the process would take about a week to find a replacement. He really did that, because a week later I checked their website and someone else was named as a chair there.

Anyway..I've heard some other stories where victims described being shocked when learned that their perpetrators were in charge of ethic committees. This phenomena is not restricted just to therapists. There are many people who live double lives and who behave disgustingly or victimize people in private in various ways while, at the same time, presiding over all kinds of groups and committees of some kind of a "moral order". The classic example is of someone, who is extremely puritanical in their "normal" public life and who privately engages in the most perverse behaviors that may also be criminal. Just look at the Catholic Church..

nicoleflynn · Sep 07, 2018 at 05:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

This makes me sick, especially when I know how often this happens. My last T, the one I reported to the board and who eventually got disciplined, also attempted to serve on the ethics board of his professional association. In fact, he had already gotten elected as the board's chair when I heard this news from one of his colleagues. This happened at the time when I started realizing what kind of mess I got myself into and how much he had exploited me and I had confronted him many times by then.

When I heard that he was put in a position to judge cases in terms of ethics, I was not having it. I called him and told him that if he doesn't resign from the position immediately, I would inform his association about what he did to me and I would make sure every single person there knows about it. I also said that I'd inform his employer about it and will also make sure that as many people as possible know about it, which would include HR, admin. etc. I was dead serious. I didn't care about being sued for defamation or anything like that. I just didn't care. I was going to do that. He realized that this wasn't an empty threat. He told me that he would submit his resignation letter the next day and then the process would take about a week to find a replacement. He really did that, because a week later I checked their website and someone else was named as a chair there.

Anyway..I've heard some other stories where victims described being shocked when learned that their perpetrators were in charge of ethic committees. This phenomena is not restricted just to therapists. There are many people who live double lives and who behave disgustingly or victimize people in private in various ways while, at the same time, presiding over all kinds of groups and committees of some kind of a "moral order". The classic example is of someone, who is extremely puritanical in their "normal" public life and who privately engages in the most perverse behaviors that may also be criminal. Just look at the Catholic Church..

I am SO proud of you!