Why am I thinking in such detail and so often about my former therapist?

I had an abrupt ending to my therapy about a month ago and it had to do with a session limit within the organization where my therapist works. That limit made her end therapy abruptly and I wasn´t prepared for it.


Although my T was part in us needing to end therapy within just one session and I think she acted wrong I keep missing and grieving her tremendously.

But it´s not only that, I keep replaying things she said, how she looked, how her office looked on and on in my mind. I also think about private things like how her sex life is, how she might be affected by her menopause and so on. It´s not that I would want to have a sexual relationship with her but I keep thinking about those things, not in an arousing way but I think more out of curiousness.


I ask myself things like how she lives with her husband, what they do together, if she´s happy at work or not. Hundreds and hundreds of questions which I of course won´t get an answer to.

I know about romantic transference but still - why am I thinking so much and in so much detail about my therapist? Is it because it gives me some kind of feeling of keeping her close even if that´s just in my mind?