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Member Since Apr 2015
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 74
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#1
I am new to this therapist forum but feel strongly about sharing my experience. I have felt so thankful that my son found a therapist that he likes and who he feels listens to him, that I became obsessed with his therapist. I really enjoyed having these feelings! I would occasionally sit in on sessions and became very interested in him.
I have been married for 29 years and never, ever cheated on my husband. Since I said “I do” I have been faithful. I have had little crushes but just brief ones that burned out easily on their own. This was different! I have been fantasizing about this man for over a year. This crush gave me tons of energy and motivation to look my best because I wanted him to notice me and want me. What fun I’ve had getting ready to see him or imagining that maybe I’ll run into him somewhere. He was always on my mind. My sex drive improved and that was a positive for. My marriage. Sadly, this can’t be sustained without seeing him. Since my son is moving on to another therapist (too complicated to get into why) I am left without fuel for my fantasy. I was beginning to worry about how my self focus might effect the relationship between my son and I. I liked his therapist so much! I have to give this up but leaving this behind fills me with loss. An empty space. A very sad place. It’s a kind of death and yet it was never truly alive. It wasn’t real, it was all in my head. I’ll feel better in time. Can anyone relate? |
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bpcyclist, Buffy01, Jelzig65, precaryous
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bpcyclist, Buffy01
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Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006
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#2
Hi @EllieGreene- I wanted to share some thoughts and I want you to know that I am not judging you or think you are a bad person.
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__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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EllieGreene, susannahsays
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Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
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#3
My parents were married for over 50 years before my mother died of cancer. Of course my serious catch of a dad has taken up with no one. Not gonna happen. They were from another era, when, for many, forever. indeed, meant forever. This is absolutely not the case with my generation, where people get divorced at the drop of a hat.
That said, I will never forget my mother turning to me after my dad had done something annoying--this is before she got sick--and remarking with a sigh: "Oh, honey. I just don't think people were meant to be married this long." I laughed, because it was funny, but there was some truth in what she said. Being with the same person for 29 years is a lot of work. I wonder if the distraction and excitement you felt for this therapist was just a response to boredom and lack of newness in the marriage or if it indicates something more serious.. Only you can know. You should probably find out. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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EllieGreene, sarahsweets
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Member
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 74
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#4
Thank you so do much for reading my post. Your points are right on. I posted because I am screaming out for help. This is a first infatuation for me. I inadvertently fed it into an obsession. I do suffer with depression and have been in therapy but left a year ago and actually told her about how I’d been thinking about a man and it boosted my energy. I left my therapist because there were things I didn’t like about her style. She was always supportive and didn’t call me out on things. Most importantly, I didn’t like the way she shared so much about her own life; her children, father, and her husband etc. She gave me a complete 60 minutes even though my insurance paid for 45 minutes. She did lots of talking. I want to go back into therapy and have called a psychologist but she was wouldn’t book an appointment at all because she was full. I really don’t like the process of searching for a therapist. It takes a lot of steps and I have difficulty staying on it
I really want to say more when I have time and I will return. Again thank you for your well thought out response. I’m just trying to be happy and really need to make some changes and set some goals to work towards. El |
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precaryous
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sarahsweets
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Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
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#5
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