just to get thoughts out, feel free to get thoughts out too

I do this a lot and have the same reaction as you.

What on earth is a T?

T = therapist

There is so many things I want to say to you, feelings unexpressed, but I'm afraid of what you may think or say.

I want to know everything about you, to make you laugh, to make you happy. I love your voice, your jokes.

I like to fantasize that we could have share life together.

The way you were dressed three weeks ago...you looked stunning...and I was unable to say anything.

Somedays I think that I would like to hug you, kiss you gently, just cuddle...soft stuff.

As for the hard stuff... I fantasize that I'm ..... Later we arrange to meet again next week, the same hour.

I'm happy feeling the way I do about you

T = Thank you, @SoAn.

T also =

i dreamed that i saw you were typing on whatsapp, and that later, you called me. when i woke up, i realized of course i didn't have a missed call from you and that it was a dream.

I am watching a documentary. I thought of how I would like to watch it with you. I was imagining us sitting together, my face close to yours, and being overcome with the desire to kiss you. Then it occurred to me that the feelings I have for you now are likely stronger than the feelings you have for me now, and probably (maybe?) stronger than you ever had them for me. The thought that you may not want the same things as I do had the tears streaming down my face. My feelings are only getting stronger even though I haven't seen you in a month and we terminated (in a mildly bad way).

I vaguely thought about talking to you again, then realised I am not sure if I would feel comfortable being so vulnerable to you (apart from the fact I think I'd only do it to feel closer to you).

Is this addressed to me, in reponse to the preceding post, by me? Or is this a thread that is exclusive to just two people, neither of whom is me?

Who is this "you" whom you are addressing? Not me, I hope! !!!???

Seafarer, this whole thread is intended for people to write thoughts about their therapists, so no, nothing is aimed at you.

Thank you for explaining! I wish whoever started the thread had put something about that in the title. It is very confusing!

Will make it clearer next time @Seafarer !

OWWWWW I ALMOST TEXTED my ex T just to say 'i do miss you though' (translates badly)

I actually really want to do that sometimes

My friends tell me not to and obviously I know it's a bad idea, and would feel weird later probably. owwwww

I was really hoping my t would text me today because it's my birthday. She knows it's my birthday because I told her recently. I suppose she wouldn't do that but part of me still hoped she would so I'm feeling very sad and hurt but I will never be able to tell her because I'm too embarrassed that I could want something that clearly is outside of the boundaries of the relationship

Happy birthday !

I texted him accidentally- really, I promise, though it happened because I habitually check his last seen and still had his chat open (web wsp), one random text, and then an 'oh sorry' etc. He replied something funny and a 'no problem'. I chuckled at his reply for 10 minutes and compulsively smiled for more than an hour. It was so nice to have nice contact with him again.
The temptation to intentionally text him now is huge. I am looking for excuses, tempted to ask you guys, would it really be that bad if I texted him? What are the cons really? He will say no to any moves or not reply anyway.

I really worry about doing the same thing. Glad your T took it well, but can totally understand the need to text him deliberately now. It's so hard isn't it. What are you really looking for? Do you want to go back and see him? Is he the T who was attracted to you as well?

This is how it almost always goes in this forum. It might be confusing at first, but once you’re around for awhile, you’ll get used to it. “T” here almost always refers to therapist and not teddy bear or something else. “Pdoc” refers to one’s psychiatrist. “MC” —> marriage counselor. Sometimes “PU” —> parental units

Yes, it's that T. I'm looking for cuddly sweetness and a bit more, sometimes fantasies are relationship-like, so I would want to see him outside a therapy context. I would go back to a therapy session mostly to see him and to feel happy about that, rather than wanting more therapy with him.

I deleted his phone number to save myself from the madness, and then obviously wanted to re-enter it in my phone, only to find out he has removed his number from his website! Then I realised it's still in an e-mail. What madness, can it please stop, or not because it's nice too
Don't think it really has a very bad side to it atm, it just feels nice to think about him.

How about you now, LIMH? Thanks for replying, it really helps.

It guess it's nice to have found his number but I suppose the flip side of that is it keeps you in that state of longing. I can't imagine a situation where a T was attracted to me - I've had therapy with a T who blurred the boundaries but she was female and straight so it wasn't a sexual or romantic thing, just that she really liked me and consequently it wasn't as ethical as it should have been at times. But overall it worked well. I'm not sure how I would deal with your situation but think it's a wise idea to hold back from texting him for now, hopefully the feelings will lessen. If it's nice just to think about him hopefully that will be enough.

I'm ok thanks for asking. It' kind of weird as I had two weeks of near constant crying, there was a situation where I thought something had happened to T as she didn't respond to a text (turned out she was very unwell) which contributed, but I was also upset about other stuff. This week I feel much more stable so not sure if some of the emotion has resolved inside me or it's a temporary feeling of calm until something else triggers me. My feelings towards T are still strong but perhaps less intense and needy. I'm starting to trust I can see her for as long as I want and that she likes me as a person. I'm still struggling with her getting married though. I think I need to take it day by day.