[ScarletPimpernel]

This is not about transference, romantic feelings, or sexual attraction (though it could include it).

I'm just curious if people have had dreams about their therapist. Is it normal/common?

I've had dreams of being physically intimate with L and thoughts of her having sex with her partner. I'm straight, so these dreams and thoughts confuse me. I don't want these thoughts.

I'm making a poll to be anonymous incase people don't want to openly admit to it. If you don't mind being open about it, please add to the thread.

[Lostislost]

Yes I have. The last one I had we were kissing and I was sitting on top of him, I told him to 'not get me started' and left the room.

I think sex in your dreams is often about connecting with the part of you that person represents, so like joining with the therapist in you, might be a good thing.

[divine1966]

Mine were always women and I am only attracted to men in
That sense so no.

[LonesomeTonight]

Yes, I've had sex dreams about my current T and ex-MC (both male--I'm female and hetero). And I guess I had one where ex-T (female) sort of came on to me, but I declined. The most recent one with my current T sounds a bit like the one LostisLost had--he and I were kissing, he wanted more, and I said that we shouldn't go any further.

[RoxanneToto]

I voted no, but I sort of have. It wasn’t directly about my T - I dreamt she had a husband who she was divorcing, and she had dismantled his secret sex den she found in their garage.

[stopdog]

I had a few dreams about the first woman but they were nightmare-ish and non-sexual. I had only one dream about the second one and it was also non-sexual -it was merely mundane.

[ArtieTheSequal]

I voted no because it wasn't actually sexual - but I have dreamed about sitting next to her watching the rain with my head on her shoulder. Like I used to do with my grandma when I was young.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

Yes, about my female T, even though I've only ever been attracted to men in other situations and I consider myself straight, albeit with some same-sex curiosity.

In my experience sex dreams about T can often be a metaphor for emotional intimacy and desire for more closeness/union with T (and subsequently integration with yourself) rather than just being about sex, although if there is an attraction there then obviously dreams will play on that. Kissing in dreams can often represent communication (or desire to be more open).

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

There has only been one dream for me, which wasn't a sex dream per se, it was a nightmare and somehow my T popped up and calmed me down through sex (which worked great, nightmare stopped...). I don't have lots of nightmares though and this has only happened once.

Thoughts while I'm awake happen more often, T has said it's normal even if there's no romantic/erotic transference and no attraction. He said as long as it doesn't interfere with anything and I don't feel like it bothers me, it's fine.

[ScarletPimpernel]

L says similar to what a lot of you say. That my sex dreams and thoughts are more about the nurturing I crave, especially from her. She knows I'm not attracted to her in a sexual way. But still the dreams disturb me. I only told her of my dream of being physically intimate with her. She said my dream was actually really beautiful and could see how it could be comforting to my brain. She also says that the brain uses thoughts of sex for many reasons besides it being about sex. I do believe her on this. I just wish that my brain wouldn't go there with her. I feel like I'm violating her.

I plan on telling L about my thoughts of her with her partner, I just don't know when.

[toomanycats]

Not of my current therapist, but definitely previous ones. With my last one, I had a couple dreams of him assaulting me. With the one before him, they were pleasant sexual dreams.

[Mountaindewed]

Actually no. I’ve had dreams about T’s but they weren’t sexual. I had a nightmare one time where that scary T I saw for a couple months in the late winter to early summer was standing over my bed. Yeah she scared me pretty good.

[Merope]

I voted yes because I have had some intimate dreams of my male T. I am female and attracted to men so it wasn’t particularly surprising to me when it first occurred. However, as others have said, I believe sometimes my “sexual” dreams aren’t about sex but about intimacy and feelings of safety and comfort and nurture. The parental transference definitely twists the erotic transference on its head for me.

[Echos Myron redux]

Yes lots

Possible trigger:

In the early days they were violent and non consensual

but now they are loving and fun and nice. I would say I have them every couple of months or so. Sometimes more frequently.

[LonesomeTonight]

Just had another one last night. I think this one was more about connection, as I'd felt particularly validated and supported by him in session yesterday.

The dream was kind of funny in parts though. As he was kissing me, I thought, "Hm, he's kind of a bad kisser, but I guess I can put up with it for now." Also, randomly, I noticed he had what looked like some sort of metal implants in his abdomen. I asked him about them, then said, "Sorry, I'm probably prying." He said, "You've seen me naked now, so it's not prying!" (Which is like a conversation we'd have in real life, minus the naked part.) They were something to do with his heart, like a pacemaker sort of thing.

[*Beth*]

Sure have. I was in therapy with a psychologist 20+ years ago, for 6 years. I had what I think is called "erotic transference." For 20+ years I have occasional sexual dreams about him. The dreams are just plain sexual and very passionate; I don't think they have a deep meaning.

[*Beth*]

I'm re-reading this thread and I really like what Lostislost posted.