Home Menu

Menu



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Moonday
New Member
 
Member Since May 2023
Location: Europe
Posts: 3
1
Default May 15, 2023 at 01:33 PM
  #1
I'm in love with my therapist. I want to have a romantic relationship with him when the therapy has ended. He knows about this, that it's "my dream". Before I had told him about it I had dreams a night which I told him about. We talked about them and he took notice about some sexual content. At the surface it was about my brother but at least I think that it rather was about my therapist, but I kept quiet about that. Shortly afterwards my therapist turned his head to the side and gave me a very intense and long gaze and then he took his hands and held them over his face and looked at me through his fingers. I hoped for and thought that he was attracted to me. I later on told him about a dream that was about a man who loved another man who didn't love him back beacuse he wasn't homosexual like the other man. Discussing the dream my T told me that this was a VERY special reason for the attraction and love to not be reciprocated, a VERY special reason, and asked me if I understood what he meant. I said yes, and thought he meant that my love would be reciprocated if he had not been my therapist. Then I found out he has a girl friend and my trust on him is a bit lower now. I feel extremely sad at times. I have talked to my therapist about it and next I want to talk more about what he said to me about the very special reason. Even though he now claims he doesn't recall it. I would appreciate discussing these things with you if you would like.
Moonday is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ArtieTheSequal, captgut, Fuzzybear, LonesomeTonight, unaluna

advertisement
Blueowl
Member
 
Member Since Jul 2022
Location: West
Posts: 441
2
149 hugs
given
Default May 15, 2023 at 08:13 PM
  #2
I'd say you need a new therapist, if you need therapy, so that you receive professional and unbiased feedback.

Makes sense that you would fall for someone you are able to share intimate details about your life.

But that has never happened to me, so I cannot relate.
Blueowl is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Moonday
New Member
 
Member Since May 2023
Location: Europe
Posts: 3
1
Default May 16, 2023 at 04:02 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueowl View Post
I'd say you need a new therapist, if you need therapy, so that you receive professional and unbiased feedback.

Makes sense that you would fall for someone you are able to share intimate details about your life.

But that has never happened to me, so I cannot relate.
Thanks for your opinion. Things I have told my T have made him ask if I'm comfortable with my attraction towards him and about how I think it affects the therapy. I have told him I'm fine with it. But, before I had revealed my attraction, he got the impression from some dream content that I was uncomfortable with my attraction which he told me along with explaining some basics about why attraction can happen in therapy. I really like him, but feels rather strange and uncomfortable now to imagine trusting him again like before, to again get the feeling that he loves me and to feel attracted to him.
Moonday is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight
Moonday
New Member
 
Member Since May 2023
Location: Europe
Posts: 3
1
Default May 16, 2023 at 11:19 AM
  #4
I told him I'm ok with being in love with him, as I said, but I also said that based on what happens it could potentially lead to hurt feelings...
Moonday is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight
Calla lily12
Grand Member
 
Calla lily12's Avatar
 
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 891
6
1,063 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 13, 2024 at 07:44 AM
  #5
I love my analyst for his support, and empathy. He said he loves me for my kindness. This is different from "being in love", but its still very intense.

__________________
Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always....
Calla lily12 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear, Tart Cherry Jam
 
Thanks for this!
Tart Cherry Jam
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
 
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,450 (SuperPoster!)
21
81.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 15, 2024 at 01:04 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Calla lily12 View Post
I love my analyst for his support, and empathy. He said he loves me for my kindness. This is different from "being in love", but its still very intense.
Good post. I wish I could find an analyst like this.

Unfortunately, in my experience, they are very rare in certain forests.

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Calla lily12, precaryous, Tart Cherry Jam
Tart Cherry Jam
Magnate
 
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
Posts: 2,809 (SuperPoster!)
3
1,260 hugs
given
Default Mar 19, 2024 at 10:35 PM
  #7
What kind of training and specialization, if any, does your therapist have? Does he identify as analytical, psychodymanic, etc., or what? Can you post excerpts from his bio without his name (translated into English if necessary), so that we can see how he thinks of his approach and which of his skills he finds especially valuable?

Also, as a reality check, in your jurisdiction, what are the rules about romantic relationships between a former therapist and his former client? Are former therapists even allowed such relationships after some passage of time (if so, what time)? You can find the website of the body that regulates the ethics of the profession in your jurisdiction and see if you can find such data inside the website.

__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Geodon 40 mg
Seroquel 75 mg


Gabapentin 1200 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- hypothyroidism
- obesity BMI ~ 38
Tart Cherry Jam is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Tart Cherry Jam
Magnate
 
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
Posts: 2,809 (SuperPoster!)
3
1,260 hugs
given
Default Mar 19, 2024 at 10:47 PM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moonday View Post
I later on told him about a dream that was about a man who loved another man who didn't love him back because he wasn't homosexual like the other man. Discussing the dream, my T told me that this was a VERY special reason for the attraction and love to not be reciprocated, a VERY special reason, and asked me if I understood what he meant. I said yes, and thought he meant that my love would be reciprocated if he had not been my therapist.
I am not following the logic in the story, sorry. I have reread the passage several times but still.

To me, if I were (counterfactually) a homosexual and if I told someone about my dream in which a homosexual's love was not reciprocated (solely) because their love object wasn't themselves a homosexual, AND that someone told me, making an emphasis, that such was a VERY special reason for not reciprocating love, AND I wanted to believe that that someone, under a different set of circumstances, would have been attracted to me, I would have inferred that they meant that they would have been attracted to me had they not been straight, not had they not been my service provider. I think this is all about the orientation and not the client-provider relationship.

__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Geodon 40 mg
Seroquel 75 mg


Gabapentin 1200 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- hypothyroidism
- obesity BMI ~ 38
Tart Cherry Jam is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Calla lily12
Grand Member
 
Calla lily12's Avatar
 
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 891
6
1,063 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 05, 2024 at 09:52 PM
  #9
My analyst just finished his training in psychoanalysis. He's wonderful ...very thoughtful. He seems to be able to "see inside my head".
We've had rough times but I'm secure in our therapeutic relationship. I still love him and he's told me the same. (not physical) I think we love each others minds.

__________________
Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always....
Calla lily12 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear, unaluna
Calla lily12
Grand Member
 
Calla lily12's Avatar
 
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 891
6
1,063 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 05, 2024 at 09:54 PM
  #10
Fuzzy, I wish you could come to my forest and meet my therapist.

__________________
Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always....
Calla lily12 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear, precaryous
 
Thanks for this!
Fuzzybear, precaryous
Hanna2
New Member
 
Member Since Jun 2024
Location: UK
Posts: 7
Default Jun 11, 2024 at 06:28 AM
  #11
I'm also in the same situation. From what I understand your therapist is straight and you are gay? I'm in a phase where I'm extremely attracted to my female therapist (she is a straight woman, I'm a lesbian). It makes it so much harder for me to open up to her knowing she is not gay. Is the fact he is straight comforting to you or distressing?
Hanna2 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Mutual attraction with therapist SoAn Romantic Feelings Toward My Therapist 51 Nov 04, 2019 04:43 PM
Attraction to therapist Anonymous37891 Psychotherapy 22 Dec 29, 2016 12:06 AM
Has anyone revealed attraction to same-sex therapist? grimtopaz Psychotherapy 16 Dec 01, 2014 08:12 PM
therapist attraction to client? missdell Psychotherapy 2 Apr 06, 2012 05:27 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:36 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.