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Moonday
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Default May 15, 2023 at 01:33 PM
  #1
I'm in love with my therapist. I want to have a romantic relationship with him when the therapy has ended. He knows about this, that it's "my dream". Before I had told him about it I had dreams a night which I told him about. We talked about them and he took notice about some sexual content. At the surface it was about my brother but at least I think that it rather was about my therapist, but I kept quiet about that. Shortly afterwards my therapist turned his head to the side and gave me a very intense and long gaze and then he took his hands and held them over his face and looked at me through his fingers. I hoped for and thought that he was attracted to me. I later on told him about a dream that was about a man who loved another man who didn't love him back beacuse he wasn't homosexual like the other man. Discussing the dream my T told me that this was a VERY special reason for the attraction and love to not be reciprocated, a VERY special reason, and asked me if I understood what he meant. I said yes, and thought he meant that my love would be reciprocated if he had not been my therapist. Then I found out he has a girl friend and my trust on him is a bit lower now. I feel extremely sad at times. I have talked to my therapist about it and next I want to talk more about what he said to me about the very special reason. Even though he now claims he doesn't recall it. I would appreciate discussing these things with you if you would like.
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Default May 15, 2023 at 08:13 PM
  #2
I'd say you need a new therapist, if you need therapy, so that you receive professional and unbiased feedback.

Makes sense that you would fall for someone you are able to share intimate details about your life.

But that has never happened to me, so I cannot relate.
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Moonday
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Default May 16, 2023 at 04:02 AM
  #3
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Originally Posted by Blueowl View Post
I'd say you need a new therapist, if you need therapy, so that you receive professional and unbiased feedback.

Makes sense that you would fall for someone you are able to share intimate details about your life.

But that has never happened to me, so I cannot relate.
Thanks for your opinion. Things I have told my T have made him ask if I'm comfortable with my attraction towards him and about how I think it affects the therapy. I have told him I'm fine with it. But, before I had revealed my attraction, he got the impression from some dream content that I was uncomfortable with my attraction which he told me along with explaining some basics about why attraction can happen in therapy. I really like him, but feels rather strange and uncomfortable now to imagine trusting him again like before, to again get the feeling that he loves me and to feel attracted to him.
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Default May 16, 2023 at 11:19 AM
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I told him I'm ok with being in love with him, as I said, but I also said that based on what happens it could potentially lead to hurt feelings...
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Default Mar 13, 2024 at 07:44 AM
  #5
I love my analyst for his support, and empathy. He said he loves me for my kindness. This is different from "being in love", but its still very intense.

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Default Mar 15, 2024 at 01:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Calla lily12 View Post
I love my analyst for his support, and empathy. He said he loves me for my kindness. This is different from "being in love", but its still very intense.
Good post. I wish I could find an analyst like this.

Unfortunately, in my experience, they are very rare in certain forests.

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Default Mar 19, 2024 at 10:35 PM
  #7
What kind of training and specialization, if any, does your therapist have? Does he identify as analytical, psychodymanic, etc., or what? Can you post excerpts from his bio without his name (translated into English if necessary), so that we can see how he thinks of his approach and which of his skills he finds especially valuable?

Also, as a reality check, in your jurisdiction, what are the rules about romantic relationships between a former therapist and his former client? Are former therapists even allowed such relationships after some passage of time (if so, what time)? You can find the website of the body that regulates the ethics of the profession in your jurisdiction and see if you can find such data inside the website.

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Default Mar 19, 2024 at 10:47 PM
  #8
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Originally Posted by Moonday View Post
I later on told him about a dream that was about a man who loved another man who didn't love him back because he wasn't homosexual like the other man. Discussing the dream, my T told me that this was a VERY special reason for the attraction and love to not be reciprocated, a VERY special reason, and asked me if I understood what he meant. I said yes, and thought he meant that my love would be reciprocated if he had not been my therapist.
I am not following the logic in the story, sorry. I have reread the passage several times but still.

To me, if I were (counterfactually) a homosexual and if I told someone about my dream in which a homosexual's love was not reciprocated (solely) because their love object wasn't themselves a homosexual, AND that someone told me, making an emphasis, that such was a VERY special reason for not reciprocating love, AND I wanted to believe that that someone, under a different set of circumstances, would have been attracted to me, I would have inferred that they meant that they would have been attracted to me had they not been straight, not had they not been my service provider. I think this is all about the orientation and not the client-provider relationship.

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Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Geodon 40 mg
Seroquel 75 mg
Lybalvi 5 mg as a PRN

Gabapentin 1200 mg, Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long term side effects from medications some of them discontinued:
- hypothyroidism
- obesity

Suspected narcolepsy

Treated with Ritalin 5mg
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Default Apr 05, 2024 at 09:52 PM
  #9
My analyst just finished his training in psychoanalysis. He's wonderful ...very thoughtful. He seems to be able to "see inside my head".
We've had rough times but I'm secure in our therapeutic relationship. I still love him and he's told me the same. (not physical) I think we love each others minds.

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Default Apr 05, 2024 at 09:54 PM
  #10
Fuzzy, I wish you could come to my forest and meet my therapist.

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