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New Member
Member Since May 2023
Location: Europe
Posts: 3
1 |
#1
I'm in love with my therapist. I want to have a romantic relationship with him when the therapy has ended. He knows about this, that it's "my dream". Before I had told him about it I had dreams a night which I told him about. We talked about them and he took notice about some sexual content. At the surface it was about my brother but at least I think that it rather was about my therapist, but I kept quiet about that. Shortly afterwards my therapist turned his head to the side and gave me a very intense and long gaze and then he took his hands and held them over his face and looked at me through his fingers. I hoped for and thought that he was attracted to me. I later on told him about a dream that was about a man who loved another man who didn't love him back beacuse he wasn't homosexual like the other man. Discussing the dream my T told me that this was a VERY special reason for the attraction and love to not be reciprocated, a VERY special reason, and asked me if I understood what he meant. I said yes, and thought he meant that my love would be reciprocated if he had not been my therapist. Then I found out he has a girl friend and my trust on him is a bit lower now. I feel extremely sad at times. I have talked to my therapist about it and next I want to talk more about what he said to me about the very special reason. Even though he now claims he doesn't recall it. I would appreciate discussing these things with you if you would like.
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![]() ArtieTheSequal, captgut, Fuzzybear, LonesomeTonight, unaluna
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Member
Member Since Jul 2022
Location: West
Posts: 436
2 145 hugs
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#2
I'd say you need a new therapist, if you need therapy, so that you receive professional and unbiased feedback.
Makes sense that you would fall for someone you are able to share intimate details about your life. But that has never happened to me, so I cannot relate. |
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New Member
Member Since May 2023
Location: Europe
Posts: 3
1 |
#3
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![]() LonesomeTonight
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New Member
Member Since May 2023
Location: Europe
Posts: 3
1 |
#4
I told him I'm ok with being in love with him, as I said, but I also said that based on what happens it could potentially lead to hurt feelings...
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![]() LonesomeTonight
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 886
6 1,060 hugs
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#5
I love my analyst for his support, and empathy. He said he loves me for my kindness. This is different from "being in love", but its still very intense.
__________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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![]() Fuzzybear, Tart Cherry Jam
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![]() Tart Cherry Jam
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,438
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
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#6
Quote:
![]() Unfortunately, in my experience, they are very rare in certain forests. ![]() __________________ ![]() |
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![]() Calla lily12, precaryous, Tart Cherry Jam
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
Posts: 2,687
(SuperPoster!)
3 1,211 hugs
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#7
What kind of training and specialization, if any, does your therapist have? Does he identify as analytical, psychodymanic, etc., or what? Can you post excerpts from his bio without his name (translated into English if necessary), so that we can see how he thinks of his approach and which of his skills he finds especially valuable?
Also, as a reality check, in your jurisdiction, what are the rules about romantic relationships between a former therapist and his former client? Are former therapists even allowed such relationships after some passage of time (if so, what time)? You can find the website of the body that regulates the ethics of the profession in your jurisdiction and see if you can find such data inside the website. __________________ Bipolar I w/psychotic features Last inpatient stay in 2018 Geodon 40 mg Seroquel 75 mg Lybalvi 5 mg as a PRN Gabapentin 1200 mg, Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects) Long term side effects from medications some of them discontinued: - hypothyroidism - obesity Suspected narcolepsy Treated with Ritalin 5mg |
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
Posts: 2,687
(SuperPoster!)
3 1,211 hugs
given |
#8
Quote:
To me, if I were (counterfactually) a homosexual and if I told someone about my dream in which a homosexual's love was not reciprocated (solely) because their love object wasn't themselves a homosexual, AND that someone told me, making an emphasis, that such was a VERY special reason for not reciprocating love, AND I wanted to believe that that someone, under a different set of circumstances, would have been attracted to me, I would have inferred that they meant that they would have been attracted to me had they not been straight, not had they not been my service provider. I think this is all about the orientation and not the client-provider relationship. __________________ Bipolar I w/psychotic features Last inpatient stay in 2018 Geodon 40 mg Seroquel 75 mg Lybalvi 5 mg as a PRN Gabapentin 1200 mg, Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects) Long term side effects from medications some of them discontinued: - hypothyroidism - obesity Suspected narcolepsy Treated with Ritalin 5mg |
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 886
6 1,060 hugs
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#9
My analyst just finished his training in psychoanalysis. He's wonderful ...very thoughtful. He seems to be able to "see inside my head".
We've had rough times but I'm secure in our therapeutic relationship. I still love him and he's told me the same. (not physical) I think we love each others minds. __________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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![]() Fuzzybear, unaluna
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 886
6 1,060 hugs
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#10
Fuzzy, I wish you could come to my forest and meet my therapist.
__________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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![]() Fuzzybear, precaryous
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![]() Fuzzybear, precaryous
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New Member
Member Since Jun 2024
Location: UK
Posts: 7
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#11
I'm also in the same situation. From what I understand your therapist is straight and you are gay? I'm in a phase where I'm extremely attracted to my female therapist (she is a straight woman, I'm a lesbian). It makes it so much harder for me to open up to her knowing she is not gay. Is the fact he is straight comforting to you or distressing?
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