Would you go back?

Hello, it’s been a very long time since I was here. 4 years I think!

Been single 8 years, divorced 5 years. Haven’t seen psychiatrist since 2016. 8 years.

He’s back in private practice. Should I go back and try to work out that old stuff I had going on?

He left private practice for another job and now back. I was so shocked to see his photo. I really thought I’d finally gotten over him and moved on.

Hi there @iheartjacques - sounds like you had trouble with him leaving - was that a past crush on him or is that just you liked him as a psychiatrist?

Pursuging a crush would not make sense to me if you got over him.

Following up with a pdoc that really helped yo sounds like it might be worth a try.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message]

That’s the tricky bit.
He DID help me a lot over the 3 years.
I was able to leave an abusive marriage and get support to start a new life.
I just need someone to review my meds and thought it was easier to deal with someone who knows my history. It’s tiring and takes months to open up and tell my story.
This time, I wouldn’t be dealing with a husband who sabotaged all my efforts to get better.
I am happy in my life.
I just wish I could work through my issues with men. I’ve worked through so much stuff with a female pdoc and still see her. My sticking issue is with men and I need to face up to it and work through it.

I had trouble with him leaving because he was my rock and I had to ,earn to make myself my own rock. Yes I was attracted to him and hated him if that’s possible. Something about him stirs up a lot of conflicting emotions and I’d like to figure out why. He was probably nothing at all in real life like what I felt about him in sessions which makes me laugh, what I see is what he reflects back to me.

@CANDC Anyway, I emailed the practice to ask if he would have me back. Or suggest someone else for me. They replied asking what my concerns were etc and I replied saying sorry I am looking for a pdoc to review my meds and I don’t have access to my old records, and I just wanted to know if he would have me back before I go to the time and expense of getting a referral to him. They replied saying I could get a referral addressed to him AND the practice so they have an option of finding someone else for me if needed. So I’m looking to,work out two things, review of my meds (which my general doctor can’t do) (I’ve been on the same stuff for a decade, there’s always new research and new meds), plus figure out my issues with guys. I have to figure it out or I’ll be single forever and I don’t want anyone being hurt by my issues.

You are so considerate, you won't hurt your partner willingly. Yes, living with a person with anxiety or other disorders may be tiring. But you are not described or limited by your problems. You have a lot of value to bring into relationship. I don't know how to find the right person for you, I think nobody knows. It's more of chance or hit and miss process... You are independent, you live your full life and you rise your kinds in love and care. Personally, I would try to stick to that independence and try to find someone who can add into relationship something equal to your contribution. You know you will care for and love your partner - that's really a lot of contribution. Try to not fall into depending on someone, or even worse - him depending on you. It may be really attractive short term, but it will fail. Depending on each other is something that comes with and is proven by time only. For whatever this advice may be worth...

This is also a good reason not to fall into your T... You depend on him - and that is such a bad foundation for a relationship.

From my personal experience, it's better to find new T for "talking" therapy. New person can bring so much more for your healing. It will be slow, it's hard to open to a new person (well, it's easier with some - I would try to find this type of new T) - but in long term it will be worth it. Using old T for meds adjustment is a good strategy - but only that.

Yeah I might go back just for the meds. I'm also looking up other people in my area. It's hard to find someone who's been around a while and can deal with heavy stuff. I can't have anyone younger than me or hasn't had some life experience. Looking up other people for the therapy.