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#1
Jun 02, 2011, 06:35 AM
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I have been trying to cope with my husband staying with a friend, and it has been OK, but I am really starting to believe that he is suffering from a real mental health disorder.
My best friend is a social worker and I have been sharing so much with her and she said it really sounds like he is either bipolar or having some psychosis. I am really concerned, because he promised that if he went to stay with a friend that he would begin seeing someone for therapy. He has gone once, but I am not sure he really plans to go back. He said his next appointment was the 7th, but then when I said something yesterday, he said he'd have to call and see if he would be going.... I got on and did some research and psychosis does seem to fit what he is going through... And for some reason I seem to be a trigger, and I can't figure out what happened that caused him to start reacting to me this way, but I want him to be diagnosed for whatever he is going through, because it is now affecting our kids. He will be having gallbladder surgery on Monday, and he said he will come home for maybe 2-3 days, until he feels like he can do things on his own. I am kinda hoping that maybe they will have just enough of a complication, that they will need to open him up the old fashioned way, and then he will need to stay home longer and I can take him to a few therapy appointments and make sure he really goes. I am so lost right now, but I am starting to be concerned about his behavior beyond the relationship between just him and me. He is getting nearly irrational with me at times in front of the kids and they are confused about what is happening. Anyway, I also am getting ready to get off work and head to the hospital for my mom's shoulder surgery. I just feel really stressed and tired right now, and I want to somehow wake up and find that the past 1-3 years is just a really bad dream and that everything is like it used to be, but that I can then get busy a control my problems before they get as out of control as they did in this nightmare before I decided to do something. Thanks for any prayers (or just good positive thoughts) you can send up for my whole family. It is going to be a reallllllllly looooooooong summer, I think!
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 Looking for a few good Friends:
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#2
Jun 03, 2011, 10:27 AM
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Sending Prayers!
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 slinks
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#3
Jun 03, 2011, 10:46 PM
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My mom had surgery yesterday and is home and doing good!
Haven't talked to or texted my husband since sitting in the waiting room when I aksed him what seemed like an innocent question by text and he seemed annoyed and just answered "idk y", then when I explained politely that I was reading an article, he just said "idk". I figured if that upset him, then I was just going to ignore him if at all possible and leave him alone.... I am getting so tired of having to double and triple think everything I type or say to him, trying not to make him mad at me. I don't know why I trigger him to be angry or stressed, but I am tired of trying desperately not to and still end up doing it! I still hope that we can work things out, but I can't keep putting so much effort into not upsetting him, when he seems to be working against me at every turn I make... I still am just praying he goes to therapy appointment next week and keeps going!
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Looking for a few good Friends:
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#4
Jun 04, 2011, 10:33 PM
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Still haven't had any contact with him... it really kinda makes me sad that he hasn't asked about how my mom did with surgery, or checked in with her.
I am waiting now for him to make the first move, and I hope that tomorrow at church I am able to stay strong and not cave in... I have tried so hard, and I have tried to "be the better person", but I need him to start being active, not just re-active with me...... DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE? |
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#5
Jun 07, 2011, 10:17 PM
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He is home for a few days now following gallbladder surgery.
So far, so good... The kids and I missed him so much, but waiting to see how things go. Praying he sees changes I am making and he will begin to try too. |
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#6
Jun 16, 2011, 09:25 PM
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I will be praying for you and your situation.
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#7
Jun 19, 2011, 10:21 PM
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Situation went from bad to decent to bad to horrible, and now we are back at decent...
I have not spent much time n the site recently....things have been crazy, but I have a new found sense of hope with my husband. BUT, only as a friend. I am still praying for more at some point in the future, but I think I have finally come to the realization that a lot more was wrong between us, than i ever thought. And it was just as much me as him, so for the forseeable future having him as a friend is enough. |
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#8
Jun 22, 2011, 07:55 PM
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Well, very bad today...
Last night husband told me he wants to divorce and get it over with... I am heartbroken and my kids and I were all stunned last night when told them. |
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#9
Jun 22, 2011, 08:06 PM
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Slinks have you asked him why he is upset with you or even why he feels the way he does?
Has he had a physical? I know he had surgery but if he has a GP, maybe you could call the GP and tell the GP what has been going on and the change in mood and behavior. He may be ill or something or have something going on with his brain or other physical issue that should be addressed. His GP could call him in for a check up an try to see if there are any other issues and keep your concerns in mind. It also sounds to me as though he feels guilty about something and you are a trigger because you remind him of that guilt. I went through that myself and I was treated poorly and there was a reason. But I don't want to send you into imagining things. But as I stated a good place to start would be to call his regular doctor, ofcourse without him knowing. We are here and listening. Open Eyes Last edited by Open Eyes; Jun 22, 2011 at 10:43 PM. |
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#10
Jun 23, 2011, 03:54 PM
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His GP is aware of the situation ro some extent... When he went in with his problem about gallbladdee, I went with him, and I believe dr did a pretty thurough set of lab work, because I mentioned all thw things happening then and talked about change in his behavior... We have goneto our dr for almost 20 years. So he has treated this seriously, and so now I am counting on the Social Worker he is seeing for therapy, to evaluate him and I am leaving it in her and God's hands to determine if he is suffering from a condition that may be helped by medication. Otherwise I hope he will just give a 100% effort to therapy to find the root cause.
I will try to check in occasionally to update, but I have gone from a woman in denile of real life issues, like finances, too having COMPLETE RESPONSIBILITY of everything in our families life... He said he will provide as much money as he can until I can find another part time job and our oldest finds a job and can help provide some help with income... This makes me angry, but I am realizing it does no good to try to reason with him right now.... Thanks for all the support I have recieved since joining this site, and I have learned alot, and hope at times I still can, but I just am not going to have much time for myself anymore, at least until I get a new life planned and some sort of routine established. |
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#11
Jun 24, 2011, 10:32 PM
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Sending prayers for you both.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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