My Cross

Does anyone feel like their cross they're carrying is like a heavy tree trunk?

Hello, Purple Heart. If you mean by "cross" any affliction that causes great suffering, and, more particularly, a mental illness, I experience my illness in many ways. Sometimes, I describe my illness as a "ball and chain." I can see how an illness may be described as something that weighs heavily on the mind.

What kind of cross are you talking about? I have all sorts of small crosses in my life that add up to one big cross called LIFE itself. Each one on the small crosses have weights all of their own, when added together, their weight is unimaginable.

My crosses deal with multiple medical issues, multiple financial concerns, multiple mental health issues, disappointments, failures, grieving and despair. These issues are much for me to bear! Some crosses come from within myself; some crosses come from outside myself. I can gain some control over what comes from within; that which comes from outside I can discard if I want. I need wisdom to do that.

I guess I take each one of these things at a time, so that, the whole picture does not become too much for me. I have a rapid cycling BP condition with suicidal ideation, which means I have to be very carreful not to be come overwhelmed or take on too much responsibility, or I am in trouble with suicidal thinking. That is not a good place to be in. It is a very lonely place because you lose your sense of belonging to the human race.

I am blessed, however, with many understanding friends, and a deep belief in the love of a personal God. I carry both in my "survival kit" for ready use ... sometimes, I need just a bandaid, othertimes, it is a splint.

As far as my heavy cross of LIFE is concerned, I cannot carry it alone. I ask and receive help from wherever or whomever I can. Do not let your cross become too heavy or it can crush you to the ground. It is hard to get up when that happens. Holler back when you want to.

At one time in my life I describe it as "carrying a cement foundation block on my back". Many times I feel like I'm dragging a 'ball and chain' - wish I could pick it up and knock this person in the head.

Purple Heart,
Oh yes I do and I am in a situation where the whole situation has been wearing me out for a very long time. I am trying to step back whenever I can and think of different ways I can live around it, but I have to admitt it has been such a struggle.

At this point I am learning that all I can do is my best and truely take life one day at a time, I certainly can't change the past and I don't have contol over the future either, so at best I am widdled down to living my life one day at a time and doing my best each day. If anything we learn patience is a must.

The prescription is to try your best to make a part of every day finding something to do or experience that you enjoy inspite of that ball and chain or heavy weight.

Open Eyes