[notablackbarbie]

...freaking out now at what the scar looks like!!! They just changed the dressing and am now supposed to take some of the perscribed meds, them go to bed.
I dont want to be the smart and nice patient following all of the rules and getting smiles and *good job* anymore. I just want to cry...i understand why surgery happened, and that im supposed to be grateful for all the great care i'm getting all around. Plus everyone is busy and i wanted to be incognito and nonchalent and ...Now im sitting here in bed, my mom left an hour ago after spending the afternoon at my side, and i really wanna Can i have hugs and prayers please? Can i ask for that here?

[kindachaotic]

(((((((notablackbarbie)))))))

Sending many prayers & healing thoughts your way.

When you feel like it post updates.

[Open Eyes]

(((((notablackbarbie))))
Oh, it sounds like you had surgery. If you had anethesia, what you feeling is a common reaction to the anesthesia, did you know that? I was disoriented and when I saw the long scars, I was upset as well. These marks will fade in time and not look the way they do now. It is also normal to just want to be alone and rest, I didn't want visitors when I was in the hospital.

It does take time to get over the anethesia, but you will get better.

((((((((Lots of warm hugs to you notablackbarbie))))))
Open Eyes

[**Flutterby**]

Hi NotABlackBarbie,

I've just said a prayer for you and will continue to keep you in my prayers. I'm sending you hugs, too. I hope you sleep well tonight and wake up feeling better tomorrow.

**Flutterby**

[notablackbarbie]

Thank you kindachaotic, Open Eyes, **Flutterby**and everyone else...
To clarify and update, the surgery happened on Monday. I was just out of it pain-wise until yesterday afternoon, after i woke up. My mom was by my side as much as possible monday & wednesday. I finally got to see my doctor this morning that clarified a lot of what happened during surgery; and was pleased to see me improving so well (can move, eat, healing more, travel around my bed and little walks down the hallway). They - dr, nurses, staff are thinking of discharging me...
I am scared. REALLY, Really, really, really scared. Ive said that to the nurse and doctor and i called my mom; theyve talked to me and reassured me...its just seems safer here then back at the house. Im scared....

[shezbut]

(((notablackbarbie)))

Lots of studies show that the quicker people go home, the sooner they recover. And the less chance of nosocomial infections. That's why the docs, nurses, etc are eager to get you moving independently and go home.

That said, I can relate to your fear of going home before actually feeling better for more than 5 minutes! I recall wanting to scream that I still felt like crap & was afraid to go home and have things get worse. I did get a nurse to visit me at home daily, to make sure that I was recovering okay. That helped me feel better emotionally. Would that be a possibility for you?

Gentle hugs to you!

[notablackbarbie]

Originally Posted by shezbut

(((notablackbarbie)))

Lots of studies show that the quicker people go home, the sooner they recover. And the less chance of nosocomial infections. That's why the docs, nurses, etc are eager to get you moving independently and go home.

That said, I can relate to your fear of going home before actually feeling better for more than 5 minutes! I recall wanting to scream that I still felt like crap & was afraid to go home and have things get worse. I did get a nurse to visit me at home daily, to make sure that I was recovering okay. That helped me feel better emotionally. Would that be a possibility for you?

Gentle hugs to you!

Thank you shezbut for understanding and your feedback. Part of my call to my mom included her reminding me that she is a nurse too as well as my mom...so she does care and can help out when i get home
Im a little less scared now than earlier this morning. I guess being open with tears and fears and accepting care and prayers helped (NOTE TO SELF = print all of this off to keep in mind as i continue to get better & recover). Thank you again everyone...

[KathyM]

(((NBB)))

I'm glad you're feeling a little better. Your mom will know how to care for you and spot any warning signs that would require a trip back to the hospital. Your only job now is to allow yourself to heal. Hopefully, each day will show progress. Either way, your healing will come in stages - so try to focus on the now instead of what might lie ahead for you in the future.

[lynn P.]

(((notablackbarbie))) - I'll be saying lots of prayers and for a speedy recovery...so sorry you're scared. Any time I have anesthesia, it has the affect of making me feel very anxious. I don't know if anyone else experiences this, but that could be a possibility. Its also scary having surgery and seeing the incision, but it sounds like you're in good hands. Since your mom's a nurse, you'll be good at home. Get well soon dear.

[di meliora]

Hello, notablackbarbie . You are in my thoughts.

[nanettetron]

e of the perscribed meds, them go to bed.
I dont want to be the smart and nice patient following all of the rules and getting smiles and *good job* anymore. I just want to cry...i understand why surgery happened, and that im supposed to be grateful for all the great care i'm getting all around. Plus everyone is busy and i wanted to be incognito and nonchalent and ...Now im sitting here in bed, my mom left an hour ago after spending the afternoon at my side, and i really wanna Can i have hugs and prayers please? Can i ask for that here? [/quote]

[nanettetron]

Dear Trigger:

What the world needs now is love sweet love... just too little of it. As the song goes. That is probably true. Take time to smell the flowers and grow in friends and try to think positive. I feel for you , I have felt badly before myself and I know that there is a hidden power within you that can pull you through. Hugs and Hugs to you. There was a time when I felt alone in sad and for some crazy reason I started collecting cute little stuffed animal bears. I am 50 years old my name is Nanette when people see me and my husbands bedroom I now have 13 stuffed cute little Teddy
bears that I won't give up sitting lined up real cute by the wall. Funny huh, people just look at them with a glance. My mother counted them. Something good will happen to you soon so keep a smile up. hugs and hugs, Nanette from Texas

[notablackbarbie]

Thank you again everyone. Was discharged yesterday evening - been out of hospital for about 24 hours. Now just resting more, anxious with anticipation, and slowly adjusting...may explain more later...

[RapidFlyer]

((((((((((((notablackbarbie)))))))))))))) Sending you prayers and hugs for healing and safety and hope. Hang in there. Everybody has offered some pretty good ideas and it sounds like you have some real courage in you. Courage is doing something even though your afraid.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((notablackbarbie))))

Wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you continue to recover and that everything continues to get better. We are here and we care hon. Take good care of you and please keep us posted. Sending you gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[possum220]

Hope you are mending well. Anaesthesia can remain in your system for awhile and play with you emotions, so it's okay to feel vulnerable. Tears can release endorphins into your systems too......... so it is okay to cry too.

You aren't alone in how you feel. It is scarey leaving a hospital. Doctors can only do so much and your body needs to do the rest and heal. It is great that your Mum is a nurse so she will know how things are going for you.

Now maybe you can do some things you like? Watch a movie? Phone a friend. Play on your computer......... do a hobby, Sleep?

Take care of you.

[gma45]

I hope you are feeling better, just wanted you to know you are still being sent good healing thoughts and big hugs((((((notablackbarbie))))))!

[plumeriagirl]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

(((((notablackbarbie))))
Oh, it sounds like you had surgery. If you had anethesia, what you feeling is a common reaction to the anesthesia, did you know that? I was disoriented and when I saw the long scars, I was upset as well. These marks will fade in time and not look the way they do now. It is also normal to just want to be alone and rest, I didn't want visitors when I was in the hospital.

It does take time to get over the anethesia, but you will get better.

((((((((Lots of warm hugs to you notablackbarbie))))))
Open Eyes

Whenever I have awakened from anesthesia, I wake up bawling!!!/crying!!! like someone died or something. They say that's how I react to general anesthesia and it goes away in a few hours (the crying I mean), but it does feel quite lonely. (((((((lots of hugs to you))))))

[Elana05]

(((notablackbarbie)))

Thinking of you today.

[notablackbarbie]

<<<and sleeping is all ive been up to still........

...just wanted to drop by on here and thank you ALL again - NEAR & FAR - for the prayers, thoughts, hugs, insights and reassurances as i continue to recover. THANK YOU!!!!