[jrae]

The place I’m living at now is a farmsite that is owned by my father. This farm was his Uncle’s, for over 50 years, until he died, which was about ten years ago. My dad has been using it as a ‘rental property’ type scenario. The farmsite is decent sized: has a two-story house, two garages (a one-car and a two-car), two sheds (one big and one small), a shop / work area building, a small building (which I am using as a barn for pets), three bins, and three other small buildings. And my father is a farmer, so he uses the two sheds and garages for storage, the shop, and has used the bins in past years. So as the situation has gone in the past, the house and a garage would be rented out, and my father would keep using ‘the rest of the farm’.

And as much as I don’t like saying this, I have severe depression and can’t work. So living in a place like this is actually a good thing for me. I was raised on a farm (which my dad still has and owns), so I am use to that kind of lifestyle and rather enjoy ‘the outdoors’! I take care of the farm, so to speak; mowing lawn, trimming trees, cleaning up the grounds (which is needed - and is a completely different story), and occupy the house, instead of leaving it sit empty. And over the past few years, I’ve been working on fixing up a few of the ‘out’ buildings on the farmsite, ones that haven’t been kept in many years. So even though I can’t work a job and support myself financially, I like to think that I ‘earn my keep’ though my parents help pay for me to live here.

I cleaned up a cement area around the big shed, put up a basketball hoop, and now have an area to play basketball anytime I want to. (it is actually about the size of half-a-court) I fixed up a building, cleaning it out and giving it a ‘face-lift’, turning it into a barn for my cats. And this project took many months to complete! And these two things are very important to me, things that I need to keep my illness/situation from getting much worse. I know this to be true, as I did live in an apartment in a city for a year. And to tell the truth, I only left the apartment to get groceries and things at Walmart. It just wasn’t a healthy living situation for me.

So the reason why I am sharing all of this information is this: my father told me two days ago that in a couple weeks, some people are coming out to look at the farmsite. Which means they are interested in maybe buying it. So the big dilemma is this: do I think about the fact that my parents might be able to sell this farm and not have to deal with the finances around it, like keeping a property that is not making them any money, OR do I think about what losing this living arrangement would do to me, not only causing lots of stress, but creating a huge problem and major setback in my illness recovery situation??

Does it make me a horrible person to only think about what’s best for me? I’m at a time in my life when I don’t have any ‘fight’ left in me. All I can do to battle against my illness is just stay alive and go from day to day and week to week! That’s it!! And knowing that the potential major problem I might be facing, could very well break me beyond which I am able to repair or recover.

Or should I try to think about the other side of things? This farm is old, and in need of lots of repairs and renovations. None of which my parents have the time to do. (and won't put the money into unless they need to, like as a necessity or to prepare for sale) Aside from the bins (which I just don’t know), I almost positive all the buildings on this farmsite are over fifty years old. And my great-uncle lived here with his sister, both died being in their late-80s. They never married and had no kids, and as it was accustomed to being done in the 50s/60s/70s, all garage that could not be burned was just thrown outside in the grove of trees! (we are taking over twenty years of broken glass, metal, garage, cans, wood with nails, and other crap currently sitting in the grove) My point being is that this farmsite is old, kinda run-down, and hanging onto it probably would not be a good financial decision for the long term.

So the predicament still remains: think about the possibility that this might be a good thing financially for my parents OR think about the possibility that this could damage me beyond repair???

[Rohag]

Hello, Jrae. One Opinion: It is both rational and moral for you to consider everything - including your own state - involved in the potential sale (or non-sale) of the property.

Would you feel comfortable discussing the full range of your concerns with your parents?

[Gus1234U]

depression has such an effect on our thinking,, doom and gloom predominate. it's not guaranteed that any change would be for the worse~ if you know the change is coming, and it appears to be... look for something similar. use your parents' social resources to find you a small place helping guard an orchard, or any thing that leaves you in the world you love. seek opportunity... ask for help.

may you have happiness and the causes of happiness~!
Gus

[Thunder Bow]

Change is not all bad. This change could be just what you needed.

[Slamjammer]

We ALL have an obligation to care for ourselves, to avoid being a burdon on others. Caring for yourself means thinking out your own best interests from time to time. It's not selfish, it's necessary.

Consider it to be a great adventure! Good luck and best wishes to you!

[Fuzzybear]

[gayleggg]

I'm surprised your parents haven't talked to you about selling the place. If I were you I would discuss it with them. See what kind of timeline they are looking at. Then, that gives you a reference to looking for what you need to do for your future.

I think Gus had a good idea about checking out other farms that might need help. Good luck. Hope you find something that works for you.

[sparkles1]

I think that looking at all sides helps. I have to do this in my own life. If my dad is happy being married to someone I don't like, I am happy for him. If this farm is too much for your parents and is a financial drain, start looking for something similar like others here have suggested. I suffer from severe depression also and am tied financially to my dad. I hate it but I am fortunate he can do it with my disability also. Maybe try for disability which would bring in some income.

[jrae]

it was kinda mentioned when I first moved here two years ago, that this place might go on the market. but nothing was really discussed beyond that. and here comes the other unique part of this situation - my parents dropped this little 'bombshell' on me, then two days later, they left the country to go on vacation! so I have no way of knowing any more info about the situation until they come back. oddly enough, that is only three days before these people are coming to look at the place...

and my financial situation is not good. and don't get me wrong, I do appreciate what they do for me, financial support when I cannot. I don't qualify for disability and am getting as much assistance from the state as I am able. which is why this place is great for much, especially now.

so I just don't know...