[Rayne Selene]

Let me just start off saying that I'm not at all religious: I don't really believe in one god, and beyond that I'm not really sure what I believe. I've been exploring other cultures and religions and ideas, and I often feel like there's something more to what I am than just a physical shell that will die and be recycled...because if that's all I am, why do I go on living? What's the point?

The last two years have been a nightmare for me. I watched my parents go through a horrible divorce, which still isn't over (don't get me started on my daddy issues), I started college, I'm doing badly in college, I've had ups and downs with my boyfriend, and all the while I've been dealing with some pretty intense mental illness. I've had bipolar the whole time and didn't get diagnosed until a few weeks ago. On top of that, my family doesn't "believe" in mental illness, so I have no support from them. They think I'm just weak and angry. I'm tired and frustrated and all I want is some inner peace. I want to understand myself and have some kind of spiritual connection. Because right now I feel very earth bound and dirty, and I don't like it at all.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I've been doing yoga and keeping a journal, trying to center myself a bit. A lot of people have suggested prayer, but, to whom? I don't mean this in any negative way, but I'm not a Christian. I turned away from that and I need space from it right now. I mean that in the most respectful way possible, I know this isn't the place for argument. I'd like to learn about other beliefs and spiritual practices. I'm not sure if this is the place to look for that? I'm new here.

You could try reading about various philosophies and religions, and see what sticks. I can only speak from my own experiences. Buddhism and Taoism have helped me immensely over the years. Like you, I am pretty open-minded and open to different forms of spirituality. Here are some books and websites I have enjoyed:

• Taoism.net / TrueTao.org - I like the stories. They introduced me to Taoism.
• I always come back to the Tao Te Ching, and have done so over the years. It's a short book with short verses, but they are deep and beautiful.
• I am a practising Stoic; the philosophy is very similar to Buddhism, and is not really associated with the English word stoic as we know it today. This is the book that got me started - http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Lif...dp/0195374614; I also love the writings of Marcus Aurelius.
• Alan Watts - English philosopher (now deceased) who introduced various Eastern philosophies to Western audiences. I enjoy his lucid explanations, quick wit, and sense of humor. Some podcasts that I listen to: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC84...tS_1twAV97p0yQ

I also enjoy philosophy. I've read Sartre, Kant (briefly), Heidegger, Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, and various other philosophers here and there (can't remember them right now). Nobody that I explicitly subscribe to, but I enjoy looking at the various universes that philosophers create, and testing my own little thought experiments within them.

Again, these are quick suggestions. The journey into spirituality is a personal and open-ended one. I sent you a friend request, and would be happy to talk more. Good luck on your journey.

[Fuzzybear]

[SeekerOfLife]

The lack of inner peace says a lot. Your spirit is wanting something. Keep looking.

[niwrad]

Originally Posted by Rayne Selene

Let me just start off saying that I'm not at all religious: I don't really believe in one god, and beyond that I'm not really sure what I believe. I've been exploring other cultures and religions and ideas, and I often feel like there's something more to what I am than just a physical shell that will die and be recycled...because if that's all I am, why do I go on living? What's the point?

The last two years have been a nightmare for me. I watched my parents go through a horrible divorce, which still isn't over (don't get me started on my daddy issues), I started college, I'm doing badly in college, I've had ups and downs with my boyfriend, and all the while I've been dealing with some pretty intense mental illness. I've had bipolar the whole time and didn't get diagnosed until a few weeks ago. On top of that, my family doesn't "believe" in mental illness, so I have no support from them. They think I'm just weak and angry. I'm tired and frustrated and all I want is some inner peace. I want to understand myself and have some kind of spiritual connection. Because right now I feel very earth bound and dirty, and I don't like it at all.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I've been doing yoga and keeping a journal, trying to center myself a bit. A lot of people have suggested prayer, but, to whom? I don't mean this in any negative way, but I'm not a Christian. I turned away from that and I need space from it right now. I mean that in the most respectful way possible, I know this isn't the place for argument. I'd like to learn about other beliefs and spiritual practices. I'm not sure if this is the place to look for that? I'm new here.

If you don't mind reading, there is a book called "The Disappearance of the Universe". Sometimes it goes by DOTU. It's not religious at all, but it is spiritual in a very unusual way. Briefly, it explains that this place (universe) doesn't really exist, and how and why we think it does. It did help calm me down quite a bit, but it can be difficult concepts to grasp at first. At least it was for me. Hope this helps!

Niwrad

[(JD)]

As a Seeker you do not have to know to Whom you pray. I have yet to advise someone in your angst to pray for that "Whom" to show Him to them and not have Him do so... meaning, ask in prayer to be shown God.

I would caution against deciding to add anything such new information regarding various faiths and religions as you sound burned out. You really sound burned out in all relationships, and I feel for you.

Why not back off from those who drain your energy? Honor your parents but don't take on their issues and leave them be. Back away from any BF that doesn't feed your spirit.

College is difficult for everyone, and today more than 1/3 of students are depressed (even psych students) while studying in college! With that in mind realize you can do your best and probably still be ok...though of course it's a good feeling to enjoy it! (Seek out the counselor on campus for assistance.)

Are you doing anything in the way of a hobby or adventure? See if you can add something in that makes you laugh or that you can enjoy. Taking time for yourself now may very well help the rest of the relationships go better.

Prayer for you to find wisdom.

[Thunder Bow]

Be dedicated to your own healing. Feeling Earth bound and Dirty is what life is all about, for we all are part of the Earth. Get in touch with that power for starters.