[adj92]

I never have felt so angry at the higher power he is throwing what ever he wants at me and I don't think I can handle much more. WHY DOES HE DO THIS **** WHY!

[doyoutrustme]

I've learned all my life that when bad ***** happens, it's because God wants you to need him and be closer with him. Personally, it pisses me off that God is so passive aggressive!

[adj92]

I try to believe that a lot

[AbsurdBlackBear]

From my perspective, He experiences all of the suffering with us.

[Thunder Bow]

We have brains, because life has problems.

[Slamjammer]

Maybe he isn't "throwing whatever he wants", but rather whatever you NEED, to learn, grow and develop. Ask yourself what you have learned, as a result of your difficulties, that you would not have learned otherwise? Hopefully you HAVE learned something, or you will consign yourself to repeat the lesson.

You've been given nothing you can't handle. Have confidence in yourself and in your future.

[*Laurie*]

Perhaps your perception of what the Higher Power is is not necessarily correct?

[adj92]

But its my perception n I feel like its correct

[*Laurie*]

Sure, I understand. When someone has one view of what God is it's easy to become angry and lose faith. But if you feel like being angry at God is helpful for you, that's definitely between you and God, not for me to judge.

[floridaman38]

I know how you feel. It seems that just when you start to stand on your own 2 feet something happens and you fall again. you can't understand why God won't just stop the pain long enough for you to catch your breath. It is confusing and sometimes overwhelming. When these times come and they will again, remember that God is wanting a closer walk with you and if everything is great then that walk will not happen. It will take a while for you to see it but take one day at a time. Just ONE day. tell yourself that I will conquer this day. Tomorrow will come with a new set of challenges. If you are defeated today and carry that defeat into tomorrow then tomorrow will be harder, snowball effect. I will pray that you find a peace and joy that goes beyond understanding. We aren't meant to understand why just understand that he knows why and is working to make us better people. Now don't take this the wrong way ok, but I love your soul and want you to go to heaven. Hell is a place for the hating not the hurting.

I feel similarly and sympathize with you. I am not stronger but only weaker and have learned to close off to people because they are only out for themselves.

[adj92]

Thanks floridaman I am thinking about what u said and there are a lot of good points the snow ball effct is hard for me to grasp

[floridaman38]

adj92, you are very welcome. I hope you find peace in life. God bless you and I will pray for you. We are all battling things in this world so it helps to know that someone is willing to listen. Have a blessed day.

[sabby]

adj92, I think I understand some of what you are feeling. It's so difficult at times to know where to put our anger that we feel about our lives and what we have to deal with. So, why not apply that anger to our "higher power"? It's easy to consider that the high power has the ability to control our lives and why in the world would that higher power keep giving us so much to deal with all the time? I used to think that way. Then, I slowly began to change my way of thinking and I've found that it really helps me and I don't feel anger or blame my higher power anymore. I have a different, better, understanding of what is happening and why.

I've learned that crap happens. It's not just happening to me because my higher power is dealing it out. It happens because that is life, and I truly believe there are things I'm supposed to "learn" from dealing with that crap.

I've also learned that when I have to deal with it and I don't know how, I now ask my higher power to help me navigate that crap. When I ask for help instead of dosing out my anger to my higher power, I get the help I need. Sometimes I have to listen very closely and sometimes I'm told to go with my gut instinct (which I feel is directly connected to my higher power).

I've learned that I need to find something positive in my life each day to be thankful for. Sometimes I can only manage to be thankful for being able to breathe. Other times, I can find many things to be thankful for. Doing this can help bring about a more positive mind set and when we have a more positive mind set, we are able to deal with the issues that come to us in a better way.

I've found that for myself, it's all connected. When I practice what I've just told you about, my anxiety drops as well as my anger. When those drop, I'm better able to navigate the crap.

I hope that at least one thing I've said can help you feel better. Please take good care of yourself!

[floridaman38]

adj92 are you saying that you don't understand the snowball effect or that you are having a hard time accepting it as reality. The snow ball effect talks about the growing issues in our lives. Drop a small snowball down a hill of snow as it falls it grows. This is true with out trials. If we carry them to tomorrow then we will have to deal with then along with new trials of the new day. But on the other hand if you understand it but can't quite grasp it then I say this; one day at a time, take care of what you can, we can't fix everything at once. Place each item in a mental folder or on paper and decide what is important to you now. Sort through them and decide what needs more time and what can be taken care of now. Praying will give you help and talking to friends and such. I will give advise if I can so you can message me if you want but you are not obligated. Have a blessed day.

[cyborg_hearted]

I think I know so well what you are talking about.
and everytime I ´m feeling that way, sooner or later it comes to me throwing at him (you called it "higher power" don´t know if you believe in a personal god, like I do. so I don´t know if this is helpful for you...)
the full measure of my anger, uncut thoughts, everything I think about him and my life and how I feel .
EVERYTHING.
because I think he ´s the one who has made me the way I am, the way I think and feel and see things so he can handle me.
(and maybe I am not able to interpret things the "right" way, but it would be a lie if I`d forbid myself beeing ME.) He´s the one who doesn´t give the ability to understand but he IS able to give, so why is he leaving me unable? and he´s also the one who decided me to live here in a world of pain and grief and injustice
and He´s the one who has allowed these things to happen to me and I am feeling so much helpless and exposed..
some people in my past used to tell me I do not pray enough or not the right way or there maybe is some sin in my life, " thats the reason for your suffering" they told me ...so they told me nothing less than " you are not good enough, that´s the reason.." so I tried harder to be worthy. worthy to get this peace of mind, but I couldn´t catch or reach it. I didn´t understand why he does this to me.. I think it´s not because I am not good enough..I don´t really know why some people tell things like this..
Today, having a look back, I can actually see that I´ve learned through suffering.
I did. and I keep this treasures, but I still ask myself: why couldn´t I have learned WITHOUT suffering? WHY PAIN? Why is it necessary???
is it maybe because to get to know the truth about human beeing?about who we are? or something like this... WHY?
These feelings and thoughts I throw at god,(sometimes I simply call him "you, the one who has made me" ,it sounds more pure to me) all my anger, even hate, fear and hurt, but mostly I don´t remain in this mode..it comes to me saying: help me to handle this, help me somehow, you have brought me here, so help me through!

hope you will find your own way through

cyb_heart

[Scarlet101]

Originally Posted by adj92

I never have felt so angry at the higher power he is throwing what ever he wants at me and I don't think I can handle much more. WHY DOES HE DO THIS **** WHY!

Don't be angry with a higher power because your life is difficult at the moment, its a ridiculous waste of time. Life sucks for everybody at one point or another, and you just have to learn to deal with it and handle your problems instead of blaming some ''higher power'' when things don't work out the way you want them to. Find ways to cope.