[Big Mama]

I have been doing this for years. Any one who has been reading the things I have posted is aware of what is going on. I have been trapped in an abusive relationship for many years. I have 3 kids who are starting to show the affects of the abuse as well. I have developed PTSD and I have Stockholm Syndrome from the mental and emotional abuse. I have tried to get away in the past but for one reason or another I was not successful. The Lies "I promise I will do better", the manipulating " You have no job, who is gonna you and 3 kids moving in with them, there is no way you will make it" and last but not least the begging and sad puppy dog eyes look along with "What will I do with out you, you mean you don't love me any more."

But after many many years of trying, I have gathered the strength from my friends here at PC, a few friends who do know, and relatives. Most importantly the unstoppable support and not pushing me to do what needed to be done any faster then I was comfortable with, my T.

I am in for the fight of my life, and I am fighting for MY life and my childrens lives as well. My T sent me a very supportive text and it helps keep me going. Here are her words:

"YOU WILL NATURALLY FEEL IT IS WRONG, IT IS ALSO WRONG TO LET SOMEONE ABUSE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN. THERE IS NO EASY TIME. YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN, AND I THINK YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT."

Supportive yet powerful. I need you guys to pray for me in the coming days. Prayers of intersession, prayers for when I am to weak to pray for myself. To be strong, and to stand firm, and to do what must be done.

I plan on doing this Sunday or Monday evening.

[emwell]

Please allow me to repeat what your T said

"YOU WILL NATURALLY FEEL IT IS WRONG, IT IS ALSO WRONG TO LET SOMEONE ABUSE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN. THERE IS NO EASY TIME. YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN, AND I THINK YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT."

I am so proud that you are taking this step no matter how scary it will be. I think, if I recall correctly, that at one point you used your kids as a reason to stay in this marriage. The truth is I always wanted to tell you this was a poor excuse, but I held back. You had to figure out in your own way and time that staying was in fact affecting them more than you knew.

Did I mention How proud I am of you. I am here for you. You are doing what is best for you and your kids.
You did not react and just leave when you were ready to lose it. You made a plan and are acting on that plan.
You may have to make adjustments to that plan at some point, but you have the support you need to work with it.

Did I mention How Proud I am of You.
Talk to your kids, Listen to your kids. They know more than you think they know.

I am not a big prayer person, but I will have no problem adding you and your kids to the list of folk I ask to be taken care of when I go to bed each night.

[Big Mama]

Thank you so much Em. Your kindness means so much to me. You support and warm thoughts are definitely needed.

[unaluna]

I am thinking of you. I know you have given this move the greatest consideration. You have given this relationship every chance possible.

Best of luck Mama .. It is a tough move you will make .. but it is pretty much needed and you know deep inside of your heart that it is time to do so, for the benefit of you and your kids .. *hugs tight*

[8thstreetbungalow]

im so proud of you mama, you go !

[Steiner of Thule]

You got this mom

[AbsurdBlackBear]

My prayers are with you my friend.

[spring2014]

mama,
im so glad that you're going to through the separation. you need to get away from him .he is not worthy of you and your love. he should be put into the trash like yesterday s garbage into the streets where he belongs. my thoughts and prayers are with you mama .

[s4ndm4n2006]

alwasys in my prayers mama

[Armadillo Roll]

I'm so happy for you Mama and your kids! You deserve to get away from the crumbled piece of paper! You deserve peace and properity. You're in my prayers Mama! Usted está en mis oraciones!

[Big Mama]

Thank you so much guys. It is so nice to have the support of my friends, all of them. I was feeling low this morning and thinking already, I can't do this, but then I came here and saw such encouraging words from each of you. Just the fact that have your support and have you behind me gives me strength. I will do this, I don't know how I will do this, I don't know if I can do this, but I have no other choice but to do this.

It is time. It is past time. Thany you all again for every single kind and encouraging word.

[emwell]

I am with you every step of the way.
Even if the way is backwards at times.

[77jonilg]

In 1986, been there done that, when I read your post. I know the same fear and desperation you are feeling to be free of the abuse. I was abused mentally, sexually and physically for 6 years. I had a baby daughter living the abuse with me. The day he started abusing her, is the day I grew mad, bold and strong enough to plan my escape. I left in the middle of the night. While he was out drinking and messing around with other women. There was 4 inches of snow on the ground. I was driving a 2 door, little, blue Chevet. I had to travel 12 miles in the snow to get to my parents house. There were a couple of big hills. I got stuck on one hill and a policemen came along and I told him what I was doing. He helped me all the way home. I never went back, even though he begged, cried and promised to change. 3 marriages and 2 more children later,

Possible trigger:

my ex-husband shot himself in the head and died.

I was glad he was gone and could not hurt anyone anymore.

Joni

[Big Mama]

77jonilq - Thank you for giving me hope.

[Fuzzybear]

[avlady]

in my prayers right now

[Douglas MacNeill]

Originally Posted by Big Mama

I have been doing this for years. Any one who has been reading the things I have posted is aware of what is going on. I have been trapped in an abusive relationship for many years. I have 3 kids who are starting to show the affects of the abuse as well. I have developed PTSD and I have Stockholm Syndrome from the mental and emotional abuse. I have tried to get away in the past but for one reason or another I was not successful. The Lies "I promise I will do better", the manipulating " You have no job, who is gonna you and 3 kids moving in with them, there is no way you will make it" and last but not least the begging and sad puppy dog eyes look along with "What will I do with out you, you mean you don't love me any more."

But after many many years of trying, I have gathered the strength from my friends here at PC, a few friends who do know, and relatives. Most importantly the unstoppable support and not pushing me to do what needed to be done any faster then I was comfortable with, my T.

I am in for the fight of my life, and I am fighting for MY life and my childrens lives as well. My T sent me a very supportive text and it helps keep me going. Here are her words:

"YOU WILL NATURALLY FEEL IT IS WRONG, IT IS ALSO WRONG TO LET SOMEONE ABUSE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN. THERE IS NO EASY TIME. YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN, AND I THINK YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT."

Supportive yet powerful. I need you guys to pray for me in the coming days. Prayers of intersession, prayers for when I am to weak to pray for myself. To be strong, and to stand firm, and to do what must be done.

I plan on doing this Sunday or Monday evening.

God of right and justice: uphold Big Mama as she begins her quest for
freedom from an abusive relationship, strengthen her in the risks that
freedom requires, and sustain her against the temptation to ever return
to the fleshpots of Egypt and abandon her journey to the Promised Land. Amen.

[shortandcute]

[ptangptang]

Hey blondie. Lots of good wishes winging their way from this side of the Atlantic. I kinda got the impression that things had got better , but obviously not. Stay swrong and you will get through it. I guess you always knew it would come to this. If you want to Skype anytime for a chat, I'm always here. Except when I'm not. Then I'm somewhere else .

[ptangptang]

Originally Posted by ptangptang

Hey blondie. Lots of good wishes winging their way from this side of the Atlantic. I kinda got the impression that things had got better , but obviously not. Stay swrong and you will get through it. I guess you always knew it would come to this. If you want to Skype anytime for a chat, I'm always here. Except when I'm not. Then I'm somewhere else .

Yeah gotta stay 'swrong'. Sworry, meant STRONG

[Big Mama]

THANK YOU ALL. I DID IT, I REALLY DID IT. Can't believe I did it, it took friends like you and your never ending support to get to this point. Thank you each and every one.

[Georgia Bridge]

Didn't ever see a thread asking for PRAYERS!!! So I don't know the situation. Lord willing, I'll get a chance to read it later. Thank You, for answering the prayers for Big Mama. May God bless and keep you and yours. ��!!!

[emwell]

You are stronger than you think my Friend.
Obviously
I am so proud of all that you have done.
Talk with you soon.
and don't forget to Breathe

Congratulations, Big Mama!