[LilyMop]

Just prior to the COVID shutdown I joined a Celebrate Recovery group at a local church. Somebody here recommended it and it really is a wonderful program. It is helping me heal from codependency. It has helped me find my way back to my faith and this has been very comforting to me. It has also helped me make some important changes to my behaviors.

My Celebrate Recovery group continues to meet weekly on Zoom which has given me support during this shutdown. I feel a bit discouraged though because recently when my anxiety flared up again, I felt a bit judged in a Zoom meeting. I don’t like the attitude that having faith means you are not going to be anxious or make mistakes. I don’t think the judging was intentional. Most of my experience in the group has been compassionate and kind.

I am struggling again though because I personally don’t agree that people can be ‘perfect’ in their faith and it seems like that is kind of an expectation in religious circles. Sometimes I don’t feel I can be myself and be truthful. I think the more we try to be ‘perfect’’, the more we mess up. That’s been the case for me anyway. Learning to let go of control and perfectionism is part of my healing from codependency.

I am feeling disappointed and wondering whether to continue... I have been attending church online... attending zoom groups.... listening to Christian podcasts. I was looking forward to meeting back up with people after the shutdown. Lately I have just been feeling discouraged.

[Have Hope]

That's an interesting question. So I wonder why it is that some believe by being a person of faith, it means one must therefore be perfect? Humans are imperfect. The world itself is imperfect. We all have our own individual problems. Life comes with problems and challenges. That's just the way things are. So why should having any kind of particular faith mean that we must be perfect?

I am sorry you had the experience of feeling judged. Perhaps it isn't exactly the right support group for you? What about a codependency support group that is not faith based?

[LilyMop]

Originally Posted by Have Hope

That's an interesting question. So I wonder why it is that some believe by being a person of faith, it means one must therefore be perfect? Humans are imperfect. The world itself is imperfect. We all have our own individual problems. Life comes with problems and challenges. That's just the way things are. So why should having any kind of particular faith mean that we must be perfect?

I am sorry you had the experience of feeling judged. Perhaps it isn't exactly the right support group for you? What about a codependency support group that is not faith based?

Maybe I was being too harsh in saying they expect people to be perfect... But to me, it seems like too much striving for perfection if it’s expected that you are not going to have issues at times.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by LilyMop

Maybe I was being too harsh in saying they expect people to be perfect... But to me, it seems like too much striving for perfection if it’s expected that you are not going to have issues at times.

Well, your feelings are totally valid. If you felt judged for simply having an issue that you were struggling with, that's a legitimate and valid gripe.

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by LilyMop

Just prior to the COVID shutdown I joined a Celebrate Recovery group at a local church. Somebody here recommended it and it really is a wonderful program. It is helping me heal from codependency. It has helped me find my way back to my faith and this has been very comforting to me. It has also helped me make some important changes to my behaviors.

My Celebrate Recovery group continues to meet weekly on Zoom which has given me support during this shutdown. I feel a bit discouraged though because recently when my anxiety flared up again, I felt a bit judged in a Zoom meeting. I don’t like the attitude that having faith means you are not going to be anxious or make mistakes. I don’t think the judging was intentional. Most of my experience in the group has been compassionate and kind.

Though David had many reasons to be anxious (King Saul was trying to have him killed), my POV is that David was riddled with anxiety for a large portion of his life. Many of us struggle with this.

How Can God Use a Christian Struggling With Negative Emotions?
How Can God Use a Christian Struggling With Negative Emotions? - YouTube

[TishaBuv]

My impression is we should all try to be our best and that it’s not possible to be perfect.

[mote.of.soul]

Hi @LilyMop,

I was wondering if what they mean by 'being perfect in ones faith' actually means to have 100% conviction in the beliefs as opposed to being a 100% perfect person because of faith?? Because those are two very different things. Having 100% conviction - 100% faith - might be easier to achieve though, than being a perfect person, which is obviously unrealistic, at least in this lifetime anyway.

And I'm glad you've found somewhere supportive as well, LilyMop. That's good.

[LilyMop]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

Hi @LilyMop,

I was wondering if what they mean by 'being perfect in ones faith' actually means to have 100% conviction in the beliefs as opposed to being a 100% perfect person because of faith?? Because those are two very different things. Having 100% conviction - 100% faith - might be easier to achieve though, than being a perfect person, which is obviously unrealistic, at least in this lifetime anyway.

And I'm glad you've found somewhere supportive as well, LilyMop. That's good.

I think you’re right about that. Thank you.

[LilyMop]

Originally Posted by TunedOut

Though David had many reasons to be anxious (King Saul was trying to have him killed), my POV is that David was riddled with anxiety for a large portion of his life. Many of us struggle with this.

How Can God Use a Christian Struggling With Negative Emotions?
How Can God Use a Christian Struggling With Negative Emotions? - YouTube

Thank you

[LilyMop]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

My impression is we should all try to be our best and that it’s not possible to be perfect.

Yes I agree

[LilyMop]

Maybe I will back away just a bit. I can stay involved but unless I’m talking to a counselor, my husband or to you guys here.... it’s best to just limit what I say and continue to protect my privacy. I will continue the online church services but I might back away a little bit from the groups for a short time while I deal with some things.

[GodzillaBBQ646]

Don't let things like that get you down. Humans make mistakes. None of us are perfect. Don't give up looking for support. I haven't. Keep trying. I wish I could tell you who to talk to. Find a trusted friend and ask them to pray with you for direction.

[Prycejosh1987]

Its possible to be perfect in our faith. Its not possible to be sinless. Its possible to be perfect as in follow the guidelines of faith.