[Have Hope]

I realized today and this last week that I've been relying on something outside of myself for the last 12 years, when in fact, I had been doing pretty Ok before that in terms of listening to my own inner guide and voice. As an adult, I had always listened to my inner voice, and it rarely steered me wrong. So when did I stop listening to myself?????

So I am right back to relying on just me, myself and I, and nothing outside of myself. I cried this morning though over this loss. But perhaps I always had the answers and needed to go wandering spiritually to come full circle back to who knows best: me.

I've realized that the only one who is going to get me through my turmoil is ME. No one else. It's both empowering yet immensely saddening and heartbreaking to me because I feel very very very alone with my struggle.

[Thunder Bow]

This applies to all of us. Support is nice, but we are all are own warriors and crisis nurses.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

This applies to all of us. Support is nice, but we are all are own warriors and crisis nurses.

Yes, of course. That's something I've always known. I am trying to say I relied on an external higher power, and that I've now lost my faith in that higher power.

[TishaBuv]

Maybe yourself and the higher power are one and the same.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Maybe yourself and the higher power are one and the same.

Hmmm... maybe, don’t know!

[divine1966]

According to some beliefs G-d sets up a stage and puts us in context, but then G-d gives us free will and freedom of choice to make our own decision, consequence of our decision isn’t always in our hands, it might be in G-d’s hands but power to choose (when choice is there) is ours.

You don’t get to choose circumstances but you get to make other choices based on what’s given to you etc Now this belief is primarily about moral choices but i personally think it applies to all other choices on most cases

That’s how I am looking at it.

Just wanted to add that I hope my post doesn’t come across as religious talk. Mostly just meant to be on a topic of higher power

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by divine1966

According to some beliefs G-d sets up a stage and puts us in context, but then G-d gives us free will and freedom of choice to make our own decision, consequence of our decision isn’t always in our hands, it might be in G-d’s hands but power to choose (when choice is there) is ours.

You don’t get to choose circumstances but you get to make other choices based on what’s given to you etc Now this belief is primarily about moral choices but i personally think it applies to all other choices on most cases

That’s how I am looking at it.

Just wanted to add that I hope my post doesn’t come across as religious talk. Mostly just meant to be on a topic of higher power

If there is a higher power I’ve been tested numerous times and failed to learn the lesson.

[divine1966]

Wrong post

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I don’t believe higher power repeatedly sends up different scenarios where you have to choose. I don’t believe it’s possible for higher power (if there is one) to be that involved in everyone’s life.

In that belief I mentioned higher power set up a stage for your life (I don’t know how much I believe that myself). Like you have no choice when and where you were born and how you look and what your abilities are. But then you have free will to make choices of what to do with what’s given to you.

Oh I see what you mean.

I’ve read about “soul lessons” before (I forget where). So I’ve read that we have certain soul lessons to achieve each lifetime, and that yes, we will keep being handed the same scenario in different forms until we learn the life lesson that was laid out for our soul’s growth. So if we don’t learn the lesson, the chance to learn it will keep repeating itself. I did a soul reading and a past life regression reading once. I was told my soul’s lesson is “discernment.” If that’s true, I have not quite learned the lesson yet.

I have no definitive answers on these things either. Right now, I’m not sure what I believe anymore. But the notion of soul lessons certainly rings true to me in the context of my own life.

[Have Hope]

I guess ultimately I feel like I’ve failed myself by not listening to my gut.

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by Have Hope

So I am right back to relying on just me, myself and I, and nothing outside of myself. I cried this morning though over this loss. But perhaps I always had the answers and needed to go wandering spiritually to come full circle back to who knows best: me.

Yes, you have been posting so much for a while. I hope the cry made you feel better.

Some of us post more and explore new spiritual ideas when we are not feeling at peace for some reason. One of the reasons (perhaps there are many?) can be dissatisfaction with something in our lives. For me, when my mind is in turmoil, I am thinking too much instead of just accepting and going along the the role I have been given in this life. Of course, I know that this is easier to say when you have shelter, food, are safe and in good health. That includes mental health. I hope you find more peace.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by TunedOut

Yes, you have been posting so much for a while. I hope the cry made you feel better.

Some of us post more and explore new spiritual ideas when we are not feeling at peace for some reason. One of the reasons (perhaps there are many?) can be dissatisfaction with something in our lives. For me, when my mind is in turmoil, I am thinking too much instead of just accepting and going along the the role I have been given in this life. Of course, I know that this is easier to say when you have shelter, food, are safe and in good health. That includes mental health. I hope you find more peace.

Thank you, though your post makes me feel like I shouldn’t be posting so much? Or like it’s wrong to feel in turmoil? This IS a support site.

To be fair, we’re in a pandemic, my marriage is on the rocks, and I’m having an existential crisis. I doubt many people are at peace during this rough time.. how in the world could anyone feel at peace during a global pandemic???

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by Have Hope

Thank you, though your post makes me feel like I shouldn’t be posting so much? Or like it’s wrong to feel in turmoil? This IS a support site.

To be fair, we’re in a pandemic, my marriage is on the rocks, and I’m having an existential crisis. I doubt many people are at peace during this rough time.. how in the world could anyone feel at peace during a global pandemic???

Not saying it's wrong to post so much (I have done it myself), but it usually means you are in trauma from a past or current life situation or need to make an internal change. For me, there was a tough family situation that I had to accept and I needed to make an internal change. In your case, perhaps leaving him is the answer? I know leaving someone is hard and a type of trauma.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by TunedOut

Not saying it's wrong to post so much (I have done it myself), but it usually means you are in trauma from a past or current life situation or need to make an internal change. For me, there was a tough family situation that I had to accept and I needed to make an internal change. In your case, perhaps leaving him is the answer? I know leaving someone is hard and a type of trauma.

Yes, I am figuring that out. I know that thread is long so it may be hard to read through but it’s a complex situation. I don’t want to feel shamed for having a hard time and needing support though.

[divine1966]

You should be posting as much as you need to be posting. If people stop posting, this site will be closed. That’s what it meant for: posting whatever is that people need to be posting.

I once spent the entire day on emotional support chat on PC. Like literally all day. There were two other people on there in the same kind of shape as me. Three of us talked our day away. In the next morning I was back to normal. Forever grateful for for that day. I’d hate somebody to comment that I spent the entire day there. That’s what it’s for.

Obviously Hope is in turmoil and posting because she is going through some decision making and she’ll find peace when she goes through whatever decision making process.

“Just accept and go along with whatever i was given”. @TunedOut. Even the most religious and devoted believers question things and make decisions and don’t just blindly accept what’s given, and given by whom, do people have no free will? We aren’t sheep

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by divine1966

You should be posting as much as you need to be posting. If people stop posting, this site will be closed. That’s what it meant for: posting whatever is that people need to be posting.

I once spent the entire day on emotional support chat on PC. Like literally all day. There were two other people on there in the same kind of shape as me. Three of us talked our day away. In the next morning I was back to normal. Forever grateful for for that day. I’d hate somebody to comment that I spent the entire day there. That’s what it’s for.

Obviously Hope is in turmoil and posting because she is going through some decision making and she’ll find peace when she goes through whatever decision making process.

“Just accept and go along with whatever i was given”. @TunedOut. Even the most religious and devoted believers question things and make decisions and don’t just blindly accept what’s given, and given by whom, do people have no free will? We aren’t sheep

Yes, sorry, obviously I jumped into something that I am not up to speed on (I have not read that many of Have Hope's posts--so sorry).

I was commenting on my own personal situation but do not want to disclose things about the other person. Sometimes when you love someone, you do accept a lot of problems. Some people need help to survive. I am not a sheep. It is a choice and my own free will. Charity starts at home.

Again, I am sorry, many many people helped me by posting on my threads through messaging. Thanks for helping so many people Divine. I hope things get better for Have Hope. Times are tough right now.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by TunedOut

Yes, sorry, obviously I jumped into something that I am not up to speed on (I have not read that many of Have Hope's posts--so sorry).

I was commenting on my own personal situation but do not want to disclose things about the other person. Sometimes when you love someone, you do accept a lot of problems. Some people need help to survive. I am not a sheep. It is a choice and my own free will. Charity starts at home.

Again, I am sorry, many many people helped me by posting on my threads through messaging. Thanks for helping so many people Divine. I hope things get better for Have Hope. Times are tough right now.

Thank you for your words. Everyone’s situation is different.

Yeah it’s just that her way to accept what’s there is to question her spiritual belief and question other aspects of her life. It’s normal. Your situation is very different as you are referring to accepting problems coming from someone you already have in your life. It’s very different inviting totally new people into your life and take on their problems as your own burden and don’t even question it.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by TunedOut

Yes, sorry, obviously I jumped into something that I am not up to speed on (I have not read that many of Have Hope's posts--so sorry).

I was commenting on my own personal situation but do not want to disclose things about the other person. Sometimes when you love someone, you do accept a lot of problems. Some people need help to survive. I am not a sheep. It is a choice and my own free will. Charity starts at home.

Again, I am sorry, many many people helped me by posting on my threads through messaging. Thanks for helping so many people Divine. I hope things get better for Have Hope. Times are tough right now.

Thank you for the well wishes. I appreciate that.

And, Yes my situation is different than yours. Perhaps you’re projecting your own beliefs onto my situation? You may believe charity starts at home: I do not.

But this thread isn’t about our relationships.

I am now in a place where I want to rely on my own inner voice rather than on a belief in a higher power that is in control. I am taking back my own power in my life because I feel I got lost in a spiritual belief system that did not serve me well at all.

And I’m not having trauma. I’m questioning everything in my life and want to listen to myself from now on.

I agree with divine here. I should be posting as much as I need to as this is a support site and it doesn’t have to mean I’m having trauma. I’m simply going through a rough period and am seeking support around it. There should be no commentary around that or shaming around needing support through turmoil.

Questioning one’s spiritual stance and making adjustments as needed makes me an independent thinker, not someone having trauma.

I just want to be clear on those points.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by divine1966

You should be posting as much as you need to be posting. If people stop posting, this site will be closed. That’s what it meant for: posting whatever is that people need to be posting.

I once spent the entire day on emotional support chat on PC. Like literally all day. There were two other people on there in the same kind of shape as me. Three of us talked our day away. In the next morning I was back to normal. Forever grateful for for that day. I’d hate somebody to comment that I spent the entire day there. That’s what it’s for.

Obviously Hope is in turmoil and posting because she is going through some decision making and she’ll find peace when she goes through whatever decision making process.

“Just accept and go along with whatever i was given”. @TunedOut. Even the most religious and devoted believers question things and make decisions and don’t just blindly accept what’s given, and given by whom, do people have no free will? We aren’t sheep

Thank you!!! Hugs.