[nowheretorun]

sometimes i spend time re-examining previously learned 'truths' i have learned along my journey...

one that i chose to think about recently was the long held belief of the 'fight or flight' response...

i remember being taught as a child that mankind has a certain instinct which explains much of our behavior.. when faced with fear, adrenalin pumps from our brain outward to our muscles and tension rises in some cases to frozen rigidity as the animal decides to fight or flee the feared object...

i remember being taught this in school as a child and believing from that point forward that i had only two options avaiable when afraid...

i remember the times i chose to flee.. the guilt and feelings of cowardice i had were very crippling emotionally and socially...

and i remember the times i chose to fight and the anger and the hurt which was its inevitable result....

it occurred to me there is a third option available, one they didnt teach me in class and i wondered why not....

i wish i had been armed with the knowledge of making peace as i grew up... it could have made a lot difference in my life and those around me whom ive tried to help as i walk this path...

perhaps it is not an instinct (making peace), but, wouldnt it be great if it were?

(((nowheretorun)))) smiling

I think the flight or fight thing your right is taught as you said sometimes at a very young age.......

It depends on your inner being too....

my first instinct is peace.................

its something I choose along time ago....

i am glad you have found the third option....

your on the right path

[nowheretorun]

i am trying, thank you (((muffy)))))

[Fuzzybear]

[(JD)]

This might be triggering (mild?) but I dislike seeing the trigger icon in the Sanctuary of all places

The fight or flight response is instinctive. Making peace requires having knowledge of all sides, and having control to promote it. Children don't have that ability. Besides, how would you make peace with abusive people? How would you compromise with abuse? I think you're searching for a way to prove that you didn't do the right thing. How if you can make it your fault, then you deserved it. Reasoning that there are evil people in the world and they harm others is tough. They are the ones who brainwash the others into thinking they were at fault and deserved it.

[nowheretorun]

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Fuzzybear said:


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((((((fuzzybear)))))

[nowheretorun]

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_Sky said:

This might be triggering (mild?) but I dislike seeing the trigger icon in the Sanctuary of all places

The fight or flight response is instinctive. Making peace requires having knowledge of all sides, and having control to promote it. Children don't have that ability. Besides, how would you make peace with abusive people? How would you compromise with abuse? I think you're searching for a way to prove that you didn't do the right thing. How if you can make it your fault, then you deserved it. Reasoning that there are evil people in the world and they harm others is tough. They are the ones who brainwash the others into thinking they were at fault and deserved it.

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i completely agree with you about the trig icon in Sanctuary ((Sky)))

Making peace requires having knowledge of all sides, and having control to promote it.

i agree.. making peace requires that we begin in a good place ourselves, really understanding what our meaning and intention is all about, and having the ability to present our peace in a non-threatening, kind, compassionate manner...

how would you make peace with abusive people?

i would emphasize to the abusive party that breathing is important... abuse has the capability of escalating even into death of the physical body... when two combatants face each other in mortal combat, only one exits as victor... not much different than our own current world war situation.... no one wins in this type scenario.....

making peace begins with the ability to appreciate ones own breathing....

I think you're searching for a way to prove that you didn't do the right thing.

conversely, i might be searching for a way to prove i have done the right thing and i am seeking support and companionship ...

thank you Sky, many blessings to you

[Danialla]

NWTR,

I understand your need to seek peace and harmony. It is hard to think that you have hurt someone, especially when that was never your intention in the first place. First and foremost forgive yourself. Even if those you feel you have hurt, albeit unintentionally, are unable to acknowledge your true intentions in the first place, you will at least have that peace in your own mind.

Some people lash out in anger for the specific purpose of hurting the other person. Those people are unable to see the lasting hurt they have caused. And even if they at some point they are able to step back and look at the whole situation objectfully, their pride gets in the way of seeking any type of resolution, ie apologizing, posting supportive posts in the other's thread, etc. Those are the people I feel sorry for, and those are the people I continue to pray for, whether they like it or not .

You are not one of those people! Your posts have always been peaceful and loving.

This post has spoken to the need we all feel for the love, guidance and acceptance of others, without adding criteria that must be met before you would consider or even acknowledge that love, guidance or acceptance that another has to offer.

Look at the wide variety of people who respond to your posts. They are not afraid to offer an opinion, because they know (or believe), that you are willing to listen, but more important, that you would never lash out in anger or frustration.

The fact that people of many faiths and backgrounds feel comfortable responding to someone's post, on any of the forums, is to me a true reflection of the type of person they are. Not the total number of responses, just the variety of people responding .

Peace everyone

[Fuzzybear]

[nowheretorun]

(((fuzzybear))))) (((Danialla)))



thank you both for the kindnesses you've shown me, others here, the new members, the old members, always giving caring advice and hugs when needed..

i've so often heard that peace begins at home.. thank you for helping make PC a peaceful place for so many...

you are so right Dani... lashing out is never good... its taken me a long time to understand this... im thankful for the kind people and thier kind words which have led me to my new place of peace...

i remembered a quote the other day, if i'm not mistaken, it was Geronimo, the retired Apache warrior who said at the end of several years of fighting land invasions and following the Trail of Tears when so many homeless and helpless native people were walked across miles and miles of hard terrain to their final destinations on small lands with poor facilities... "I will fight no more forever!"

he had seen the heartache and suffering that fighting had caused his people and that he himself had contributed towards in his own quest for freedom for his people.. after years of suffering and resistance, he could finally appreciate true peace... peace of his heart in the knowledge that fighting is no path to peace...

[Lenny]

Peace,,like Mercy comes from the heart that has experienced the profound tragedy of their absence...

Suffering is the unfortunate price of compassion...but once learned Peace, Mercy and Compassion are permanent aspects of character...

IMHO.

Lenny

[nowheretorun]

it sounds like you've been there Lenny... thanks for your kind words... your humble opinion counts here..

i feel i didnt do the family of Geronimo due service in my previous post, as well as other members here who have added thoughts... i appreciate each of you immensely....

after 'the fight', Geronimo led his people into peaceful organization... his fight for honor and respect and due consideration continued in a peaceful movement still alive today... there are more than one lesson to learn from some stories... for me, Geronimo represents adaptation... endurance, faith, hope, a search for true healing for his people.... his spirit is alive today...

prayers and hopes of healing for all

[nowheretorun]

i have to apologise to the readers and familie of Geronimo...

in doing some further research ive uncovered that it was in fact not Geronimo who spoke the famous words "I will fight n o more forever!", but it was in fact Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce tribe located in the upper Northwest...

please see the attached article for further documentation..

my apologies to all..

In a Dark Time the Eye begins to See

(((nowheretorun)))))
everyone goofs from time to time
I know I do....

I like this part ...what he said....
"I will fight n o more forever"

I have found all threw life trying to make peace was
the best way for me..
muffy

[Fuzzybear]

[nightbird]

I think there were other cultures that sought peace... we don't hear much about them, but they have existed through time also.

In practical applicable terms, people can choose to resist a fight, which still has them involved - or they can fight back - still in the fight - or they can *step aside and let the opposing force pass right by them without contact or energy spent.

Seems there are times it can be easier said than done.

But if we learn things like how to humor our differences, in a good way, we can still be peaceful and loving even with the most contentious person, say a negative spouse or someone going through a really rough patch and they are so touchy, they want to fight all the time, or on a forum, it can be easy as pie, because you can step aside and let the whole deal pass you - and retain your peace and calmness, still keeping a loving disposition.

So it can work at home and at work, if it it's cultivated in us first.
Practice makes perfect.
I'm practicing at home today!

Oh, how I wish I'd remember this for every occasion - we can usually disengage and step aside when trouble arises, whether it's coming from us or another.

I gotta write this down!!! On real life paper!

Thanks for this thread ((((NTR))))

I like what Daniella said about you, btw. Every word is true.

peace and love,
night

[nowheretorun]

(((nightbird)))((((fuzzy)))((((muffy)))))))



there isnt any way to improve on what you've each said... love, kindness, patience, understanding, peaceful thoughts make peaceful actions...

thank you each, you each are a blessing in my life and many others..

i humbly accept your kind observations of my character, ive tried hard for many years to find my own inner peace.. ive received help from many and i never gave up... its so good to know there are others out there like me who know and understand...

many blessings for you and all who read and understand... you make the world a better place than it would be without you...

ty(((((((((((nowheretorun)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
so many of us here show peace and kindness to each other
the support here is giving me peace
kindness, peace and hope......
words of the day
hope that was ok to add?
muffy