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#1
Dec 17, 2011, 08:33 AM
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It's really hard to explain myself in detail on how I am feeling in just one post because I don't know really how to explain myself. I've been having problems with reality, being on auto-pilot a lot, some minor stresses of being away from my family, expectations from work and expectations I try to keep for myself, keeping control of my thoughts, remembering minor details and instructions, small anger problems and personality changes...I think. It's hard for me to tell because it's hard for me to explain all of this because I'm not to sure what's going on. It's a little confusing right now but I am hoping someone can help me straighten some things out on here. I don't want to go see professional help just yet because I am trying to fix things on my own first before I resort to more drastic measures. Going to see a pro. would greatly effect my work, seeing as how I am in the army.
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#2
Dec 17, 2011, 10:56 AM
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Being in the army must be very stressful in and of itself. I remember a couple of years ago (before diagnosis) trying to explain to my Dad how I felt, and he completely and utterly didn't get it. I couldn't express it then, but I felt like I was a stranger to myself, emotionally and intellectually detached, observing myself, acts and thoughts and feelings, with complete bewilderment. I said to my Dad that I felt like a stranger to myself, and he told me I was self absorbed and needed to pull myself out of it. Technically, of course, he was right, but he assumed a level of choice in my behavour... and there is no choice when you feel like that.
Ask anything you like here, we'll try to be as helpful as possible.
__________________
Here I sit so patiently Waiting to find out what price You have to pay to get out of Going through all these things twice. |
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#3
Dec 20, 2011, 06:40 AM
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Alright that's cool. The weird thing about this problem i'm having is that it's not constant. Like right now I feel fine, "normal" if you will. Its just that there are times when I just go inside myself and I can't help it really, i'm aware I am doing it but I can't really do anything about it. I question reality, I look at everyone around me and consider them ridiculous for being they way they are. I judge them for dressing the way they do and consider them to be just a mindless drone that only thinks of himself as others see them and I think how dumb they are for doing so. However feeling like I am on auto-pilot gives me more problems when I am "normal" then when I am in my other states. I think I might have an ADD problem, not sure.
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#4
Dec 20, 2011, 08:25 PM
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It is worth seeing what a doc says about this... you're right that ADD can cause some of these problems, it doesn't have to be schizo related.
__________________
Here I sit so patiently Waiting to find out what price You have to pay to get out of Going through all these things twice. |
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#5
Dec 21, 2011, 06:59 AM
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I have 'flare-ups' too. Sometimes things are going quite well but what I noticed is that when I am most stressed is when I start hearing the doorbells, people talking, phones ringing, feeling 'outside' of myself and not getting words to make sense when I try to talk. I have tried to keep track of what is going on in my life when these "flare-ups" start, but have found no rhyme or reason to it so far. I just take it day by day. I hope you find the support you need here.
__________________
As I lay down in bed each night I look up at the stars and wonder "where the heck is my ceiling?"  |
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#6
Dec 27, 2011, 02:55 PM
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Quote:
-Singularis |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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