How many of you get harassed for not smiling more?

Schizoaffective can cause the facial muscles to look like you're always sad, and it's hard to smile. You get a flat affect because of the lack of emotions being expressed.

How many of you have had people get on you for not smiling more? I play in a band, and I have the darndest time smiling. It's hard to explain to them, but I can sympathize with the crowd who came to be entertained. Luckily my music abilities speak for themselves without smiling.

But I almost get angry when it is mentioned. Do you have a story about this?

Someone is always telling me to smile. It's not that I don't want to, it is just that I have to really focus on it and I think it is too fake then. Now, if someone makes me laugh or embarasses me then I automatically get a half smile on my face. Everyone used to tell me I had such a pretty smile. I even smiled when I was about to jump someone's backside. It was four years ago that I quit having a full natural smile. My doctor thought I had a mini stroke since I have real bad migraines. He sent me to another doctor who agreed that it might very well have been a mini stroke.

I barely smile. I just thought it was my antipsychotic giving me the flat effect.

I smile a great deal when I'm going through a good spell, but it's like my face is in a perpetual blank stare otherwise. My boyfriend always thinks it's because there are horrible thoughts in my head even though that's not always the case. It's frustrating!

My god, I get this all the time. People always harassing me to smile or either asking me what's wrong or why I'm so angry. Most of the time I don't feel anything, least of all mad or sad or whatever. Usually I just answer that I'm tired. But I get so sick of it to be honest. Granted, I don't feel "happy" almost ever, but I always just want to rip someone up one side and down another and tell them I don't have to smile all the time, over that I don't walk around like a grinning idiot. Maybe I'm inherently angry, I don't know. But god knows I'm sick of being told I don't smile. I already know this. It's like pointing out that someone is deformed or something. Heh, maybe I'm overly sensitive to it.

I don't have Schizoaffective disorder, Ihave BPD/MDD/PTSD.

I HATE hearing this from people. There was this one lady I worked with who used to say, "Why are you so sad?" "Are you always crying inside?"
I wanted to punch her and say, no I'm enraged, see? But I didn't.

I think we should say, I have a right to affective freedom and I chose to enact that right. Any questions? I thought not. I think I'll make a lot of friends this way.

Ah that's too funny.

WE SHOULD ALL SMILE MORE. SMILES WILL SAVE US ALL. SMILE! JUST DO IT!

what a load of ********. i had someone tell me that. SMILE!

**** you. you don't know me, and I'm sorry, but that's the dumbest thing you've ever said.

While it's good to remain positive, flipping your lips around is not going to remove my depression THANKSKBYE.

actually smiling tricks the brain to release chemicals and the more you force it after a while the less you have to force it. It won't change your situation though, which is the main thing that causes depression so it's not like i'm telling you not to be depressed or anything. soo don't get pissed

I especially had this problem as a teenager. Now that I'm an adult I don't have it as much. Like people used to say "smile! why aren't you smiling? what's wrong?" Not now. Now instead I get write ups in my job reviews. "Need to present a more cheerful attitude." Stuff like that...

My husband teases me that I get "zombie face." He will say, "Uh oh, here comes zombie face again." I try to explain to him, it's probably linked to my bipolar, but I don't think he gets it. Also we have a kinect and I play on it and I'll be having a really great time. Then it shows me the video and I'm totally blank faced. I watch it and it's eerie. I'm thinking "uhm... I feel like I was smiling? what happened."

I have lots of pictures from the past of "zombie faced" me. It's weird.

I struggle with PTSD/GAD/Depression. I hardly smile at all anymore. When I do, it feels forced and not real, and I catch myself and stop immediately.

I HATE it when someone tells me to smile. I smiled my entire life. I faked it...it didn't help. I don't care what the experts say. I'm tired.

I remember a study that actually said that the whole "power of positive thinking" doesn't work on people who are mentally ill. Not that it's bad to think positively or to work towards it. But telling people to think positively actually causes them to think negatively. I think telling people to smile works the same way. That's why I don't like those Ts who are all about the "happy puppy rainbows." Because if you think about happy puppy rainbows all your troubles will magically disappear.

The other one I hate is "leave it at the door." Like I can just leave my bipolarness somewhere and it won't follow me.

I have had difficulty smiling for decades, especially when I am dealing with some internal concentration, such as trying to learn a new piece of music, or solve a mental problem. I see photos of myself and understand why people tell me I seem grumpy or antisocial.
But antipsychotics definitely made smiling more difficult and counter-intuitive for me.
When I have been off drugs, I range from grinning like a Cheshire cat to numb faced (most of the time) to being tearful beyond my emotions.

I think there is some merit in trying to appear more cheerful and upbeat (where possible) not so much because it makes us feel brighter, but because people around us get the message that we are nicer and easier to get on with. That gives us deeply needed positive feedback, especially when we are struggling with depression and the way people shun us for being mentally ill.

Obviously this is not very practical when we are in severe depression or psychosis, but I believe it can be helpful when we are in a better state.

The funny thing for me is I think I am smiling and being cheerful, but then if someone takes a photo of me (like hidden camera type) then I am blank faced. It's weird. I don't understand what it is.

I try to appear "cheerful" and all because of my job. It's just a role I play. But I still get told I'm not showing it enough... it's annoying.

Actually, there are some cultures where it is improper to smile in public, like Russia. The people of that culture believe you are up to no good if you smile in public or at a stranger. It is not polite to do.

In my not-so-humble opinion, this goes way further than schizoaffective disorder -- it's a symptom of a culture that puts inordinate emphasis on simulating happiness:

(1) Take a look at advertising. Think of any time you saw a woman (key word alert) depicted as ecstatic over a floor cleaner, cell phone, lipstick color, etc. To further this effect, some are shown with more garish makeup than the average circus clown.

(2) I've never understood why no one can be photographed (except on driver licenses and police mug shots) without being commanded to smile. I once tried to look serious and dignified in a family portrait session and was fooled into laughing by the photographer; I looked like a giggly jackass afterward, but mom and dad loved that "just right expression" (actual phrase used in Olan Mills pamphlets for parents).

(3) Mom's way of dealing with any negative emotions was to pretend she didn't feel them -- and she expected the same of me. I have no doubt this has driven much of my depression; whether or not she meant well makes no difference.

(4) Complete strangers have sneered, "C'monnnnn, give us a smile" at my wife for no other reason than that she's a woman.

[/depressive rant]

oh, even at the driver's license office here they make you smile. Except in all of mine I look like a mug short or drug addict or something... I think they use the same camera as a mug shot camera.

Yes, I hated that as a kid. Once it took the photography 30 minutes to get me to smile.... blah.... I was smiling! just not the way they wanted me to.

But my senior year photos, which were my favorite ones, I didn't smile in any of them. Just that blank face I always make, or "zombie face" as my husband calls me sometimes. But, the photographer was a good one and posed me thoughtfully, so it doesn't stand out. But I look normal in those photos.

When I worked at a hardware store, I was told several times to smile more because it's good for the customers. I wanted to say, "I'm not their therapist. I'm not the reason why they should smile, if I'm supposed to entertain them, then hire me as a clown."

trust me i have more than one story but you have to know that no matter what you always have a reason to be happy like your music or your band for me its the kids im my music class its not hard to smile if you have a reason and all you have to do is find tht reason it didnt take me long and im sure it wont take you long and im only 13 the most important thing to me is staying positive thats all you need at times like this and thats so cool that your in a band i teach music myself but ive always wanted to be in a band but its hard to find people especially when you have disordors like i do i mean i have whole conversations with people in public before i realize their not their it could always be worse and it can always get better i hope you know tht

Never knew it was related to the diagnosis, I'm always considered unapproachable because I don't smile enough. So then I tend to over compensate by giggling or laughing more than normal generally when I'm on a date.