[NeverStopThinking]

This is a continuation of my last post ( I can't post the link because of I'm a new-ish member, but you can find it through my profile )

It's only gotten completely worse. I'm scared to even tell anyone or talk about it with anyone that's close to me because I feel like everyone's in on some sick joke against me, even my mom (whom I'm even starting to think is the ring leader). I really don't know what to do anymore besides admitting myself somewhere. These thoughts are consuming me. I keep trying to tell myself that this isn't really happening and I have good friends and family that at least one person would let me know something is wrong, but it's like they're all keeping something from me. It's as if everyone knows there is something wrong with me and they're all just using it for laughs and no one wants to just tell me. I just need to be somewhere I can get help. It sounds like the best decision for me, but I want your opinions too because I kind of trust the internet.
I also want to know how the admitting process goes. I found this one place that a few people I know have went to for other things and I really like it, but I'm scared to call and find out all the details. Can someone pick me up? I'm not sure how I would get there seeing as I don't have a car and am unemployed so public transport is out of the question. And is it covered in insurance? I really feel all alone on this so anything you guys can give me would be great.

[aleej28]

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I'm on my mobile so I can't see where you live cuz of course it's different everywhere. My experience for the admittance process here in Ohio US is going through the emergency room, talking to a social worker and/or the hospitals psychiatrist about your issues, and then they're gonna strip you down (not literally. ...they let you do it yourself lol) to their hospital clothes and you'll have to give them all of your belongings and anything clothing or bag wise that has removable strings (some places after a while let you have your own clothes back without the strings). After that you'll go up to the unit and start the inpatient process...I've been 4 times and I'm very embarrassed to admit that...there's only been 1 time I severely regretted it but I was transported to a different hospital because they had no room and well, that hospital sucked (I read on reviews after I left and most seemed to agree). So good luck and please keep us updated if you decide to go. My insurance covered some of it...If you want someone to pick you up you'd have to take a taxi or an ambulance even and that can be expensive

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[NeverStopThinking]

Thank you so much for answering The process is really different here in NY. Could pick a facility and just sign yourself in. I decided that I'm definitely going to go I'm just waiting on the weather to calm down. Today was heavy on me. I really feel like my brother dropped a big hint on my issues today which kind of confirmed to me I have a serious problem, but then YouTube videos & TV whispered about me too which I know is completely unreasonable :/ So, I'm still so confused. I also decided I'm going to tell my mom and ask for her assistance in getting there, getting toiletries prepared and all that. I also agreed with myself, being 19, that I'm not going to ask for her permission. Instead sit her down and tell her I am fully planned on admitting myself and would love for her full support for this. I'll definitely keep you guys updated! I plan on telling her tomorrow even though it's Valentine's day. I feel like an asshole, but it's just hard for me to live day to day. I'm not having any intense thoughts, but people's whispering are making me start to hate them and I really don't want to. Sigh idk, this is just something I never thought I'd go through :/

[schizoaffective]

I hope all goes well.

They may decide to treat you as an outpatient.

If they do, it is important that you follow their instructions regarding medication to the letter so that they can adjust the dosage as necessary.

Try not to worry too much. You have lots of friends on this board who wish you well.

[worthit]

Remember, it's your illness that makes you believe your friends and family are against you. If your mom doesn't believe the seriousness of what you tell her,try someone else. Glad you're getting help. We all support you.

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[NeverStopThinking]

I had the talk with my mom. I had to explain what psychosis was and what I was experiencing (even though I really didn't want to) It was kinda of a difficult conversation for me, I was shaking and everything. She told me she doesn't think I should be admitted and does not want to send me away. Her excuse was that I have no harmful thoughts of myself or anyone else. She wants to go through our shared doctor (was hers first for years before he was mine. Sounds a little fishy) to find a therapist for me to talk to. I tried to tell her I don't think I will get better like that at all. I told her going for a talk and then coming back to where I think everyone hates me is a bad idea and I need some time away. She still said it wasn't a good idea. I really want to go away. I'm not sure what to do. I am not having harmful thoughts like she said and I did a good job today at simply dismissing the whispering even though it was at a minimal today. Do you guys think I should go through with admitting myself or try to talk to a therapist?

[punkybrewster6k]

Originally Posted by NeverStopThinking

I had the talk with my mom. I had to explain what psychosis was and what I was experiencing (even though I really didn't want to) It was kinda of a difficult conversation for me, I was shaking and everything. She told me she doesn't think I should be admitted and does not want to send me away. Her excuse was that I have no harmful thoughts of myself or anyone else. She wants to go through our shared doctor (was hers first for years before he was mine. Sounds a little fishy) to find a therapist for me to talk to. I tried to tell her I don't think I will get better like that at all. I told her going for a talk and then coming back to where I think everyone hates me is a bad idea and I need some time away. She still said it wasn't a good idea. I really want to go away. I'm not sure what to do. I am not having harmful thoughts like she said and I did a good job today at simply dismissing the whispering even though it was at a minimal today. Do you guys think I should go through with admitting myself or try to talk to a therapist?

From my umderstanding, most hospitals will not take you unless you are a danger to yourself or others. Im sorry you are going through this. Maybe see what options are.available. Ask how to be admitted if you feel it is the best for you. (((hugs))

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[aleej28]

Hope the talk went well! Unfortunately I never got to talk to my mom about it...The first time I went was because I had tried to overdose and was forced to stay...After that, my therapist would send me and she'd let my mom know for me. I'm 22 so I never had to ask for permission either but it's weird seeing or talking to her before my sessions and then the next time I talk to her is in the BHU lobby area during visitor hours...so I really hope it went well but even if it didnt, get yourself there somehow!

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[worthit]

A therapist is a good start,but maybe a pdoc (psychiatrist) also to prescribe you with something for the voices or thoughts and give you a diagnosis. Thanks for the update.

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