[Eymvee]

I am often troubled by the thought of my faking schizoaffective disorder. I am convinced I faked it so I could have a name for my deviant irresponsible behavior, therefore an excuse and access to drugs that would make my life easier. Does anyone else have these thoughts or opinions regarding the matter? Thank you.

[A18793715]

I feel like schizophrenia isn't real because I think there's people from the future coming to kill me at any time. I think all the people with it are decoys to make me believe schizophrenia is real.

I definitely have moments where I feel like it's not real. That I'm just faking it and that I am in total control of my thoughts and behavior. I feel like I can overcome my moods and behaviors if I but will myself to do so. Sometimes I feel like it's just an excuse to receive sympathy from others. However, I probably think that way because I'm doing better now. What I have to remind myself is of is how I was doing prior to treatment. Obviously, if I was doing so well and totally faking it then I wouldn't be in the position that I'm in right now. I could just stop the behavior and the moods and move on. However, that just isn't the case.

[hexacoda]

I guess everyone is different. I never felt like I was faking it. I was having paranoid delusions and hallucinations that in hindsight made no sense at all. Also, I can see how I was so depressed I didn't function for months/years.

[insilence]

i feel like a lot of shills are on the net posing statements or questions using the guise of claiming an illness. im not saying this about a specific, but i find it hard to believe an honest person who is ill hasnt thought the syptoms are induced remotely.

I often believe im full of s hit. I often believe im full of truth. I dont believe I have schizoaffective disorder. I believe an outside source is attempting to ruin my creditability and my mind. I believe the "symptoms" I expirence are designed to imitate similar symptoms to schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder. It is designed so that while I attempt to describe certian events, I will be silenced by the diagnosis and therefore deemed "imaginating" said events. It is purely a way for them to silence me and attempt to humilate me in public.

[Eymvee]

Originally Posted by A18793715

I feel like schizophrenia isn't real because I think there's people from the future coming to kill me at any time. I think all the people with it are decoys to make me believe schizophrenia is real.

I have similar thoughts sometimes. That its not real and that others have been tricked, etch similar to me but I try and rebuff those thoughts by reminding myself not to judge others. And I don't know what they're going thru maybe I'm the only faker haha I don't know that I will ever receive a black and white answer but I will survive

[A18793715]

Originally Posted by smilesandcries

I often believe im full of s hit. I often believe im full of truth. I dont believe I have schizoaffective disorder. I believe an outside source is attempting to ruin my creditability and my mind. I believe the "symptoms" I expirence are designed to imitate similar symptoms to schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder. It is designed so that while I attempt to describe certian events, I will be silenced by the diagnosis and therefore deemed "imaginating" said events. It is purely a way for them to silence me and attempt to humilate me in public.

I can agree with you partly there.

I'm the opposite..
I try to fake or shall I say stuff my illness under my bed , but all that stuff under my bed comes out and I no longer can hide it .

Originally Posted by Eymvee

I have similar thoughts sometimes. That its not real and that others have been tricked, etch similar to me but I try and rebuff those thoughts by reminding myself not to judge others. And I don't know what they're going thru maybe I'm the only faker haha I don't know that I will ever receive a black and white answer but I will survive

AND THEY CANT STOP US FROM SURVIVING; STAY STRONG. All I know is when whoever "they" is, sees us doing well and progressing it messes up their implanted messages of fear/self-hate or whatever else. They love to see people struggle and remain confused.

@A18793715: which part? you can private message me, I was trying to be as vauge as I could possibly be.

[pearlzandlace012]

Sometimes I feel like I don't really have schizoaffective when I'm doing well, but I just remind myself of how I was when I wasn't doing well, and it reminds me that, yes, I do have this disorder.

[NanuConfused]

Originally Posted by pearlzandlace012

Sometimes I feel like I don't really have schizoaffective when I'm doing well, but I just remind myself of how I was when I wasn't doing well, and it reminds me that, yes, I do have this disorder.

Same here, I'm in a good swing right now so it'll make me think I don't need the meds anymore, but I know if I stop taking them then bad things will happen

for me, bad things happen regaurdless if im medicated or not. theyre more out of my control when im medicated.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by pearlzandlace012

Sometimes I feel like I don't really have schizoaffective when I'm doing well, but I just remind myself of how I was when I wasn't doing well, and it reminds me that, yes, I do have this disorder.

That's exactly how I feel I even brought it up with my pdoc a few weeks ago and they said if I stop my meds I'll end up right back in the hospital. I've also asked if the disorder goes away ie "what if I don't have it anymore" etc no its lifelong and chronic.

It's really hard, but I have to learn to accept that I have this illness.

[Axiom]

Originally Posted by Eymvee

I am often troubled by the thought of my faking schizoaffective disorder. I am convinced I faked it so I could have a name for my deviant irresponsible behavior, therefore an excuse and access to drugs that would make my life easier. Does anyone else have these thoughts or opinions regarding the matter? Thank you.

I don't have sza, I have sz, but have been bothered a lot by thoughts like these. The meds make me a lot more normal and every time I've gone off them I get the same problems (mood problems too). I understand now that I can't be faking it because when I'm medicated I just want to behave normally like everyone else. I really do not want to act the way I always do when unmedicated.

[mdmcaf]

I often think I'm faking it too. Though not to justify my behavior - more because I think I'm just trying to get attention. It makes me feel childish and it leads me to occasionally come into appointments with my psychiatrist and apologize profusely for having duped him for so many years, or I'll call my parents late at night to tell them how I'm a terrible son, how I was just doing it for attention and, again, apologize profusely.

While it oftentimes doesn't work for me to try to counter my delusions with rational thought - it usually works with this one, I just have to remind myself of all of the terrible things that have happened to me and that it's very unlikely I would be able to dupe so many doctors for so many years given that I didn't even know what schizoaffective disorder was when I was first diagnosed with it.

Originally Posted by mdmcaf

I often think I'm faking it too. Though not to justify my behavior - more because I think I'm just trying to get attention. It makes me feel childish and it leads me to occasionally come into appointments with my psychiatrist and apologize profusely for having duped him for so many years, or I'll call my parents late at night to tell them how I'm a terrible son, how I was just doing it for attention and, again, apologize profusely.

While it oftentimes doesn't work for me to try to counter my delusions with rational thought - it usually works with this one, I just have to remind myself of all of the terrible things that have happened to me and that it's very unlikely I would be able to dupe so many doctors for so many years given that I didn't even know what schizoaffective disorder was when I was first diagnosed with it.

I am plauged by this so called attention-seeking business. I cant figure out if im full of **** or not. ive been programmed to believe everything I do is for attention, when in my reality the last thing on earth I want is for anyone to even look at me. some days I think im totally full of **** and other days I feel like im drowning in thoughts and emotions I cant even process. idk wtfs going on up there half the time. just wanted to say I related to that.