[strugglinggirl]

Hi everyone.
I'm not doing so well at the moment. Today I decided I wasn't going to take my meds because I think they're poisoned. I feel like there are people watching me all the time.
I'm also a bit manic. Can't s sit still. Hardly sleeping. Racing thoughts. This is unusual for me but my pdoc didn't seem concerned.
I'm scared I'm going to end up back in hospital. I know deep down its probably the best place for me at the moment though.
I've been off work since Thursday and not looking like going back until Friday now.
Just really not coping with everything at the moment.

[A18793715]

I'm sorry you're having a bad day. Do you have anything you can do to distract yourself? I play computer games and neopets.com.

[jaynedough]

Sorry you're going through this. Did your PDoc explain why he's not concerned? Please let PDoc know that you've gone off your meds. Stopping them suddenly can cause some of the symptoms you're having.

Take care.

[strugglinggirl]

I've been working hard to keep busy.
My pdoc didn't say why he isn't concerned. I'm always depressed so being manic is a new thing for me. I'm kinda enjoying it though. I'm accomplishing so much more with my time. It is exhausting though!
I do plan to tell my pdoc that I'm off my meds but I know it'll just end badly for me - I'll be looking at a hospital stay.

[strugglinggirl]

I'm going to hospital on Monday. I don't want to go but I'm still off my meds so no choice.
My patents are angry with me and I feel like I've let them down.
I just want to feel better.