[dmhobbit]

Well its been a while (about a year) since I rejoined this worldwide group and was active in our little room of us wonderful schizoaffectives!

Where to begin... ?

Well my former psych doctor left in February this year to work closer to home so I now go to the city community mental health clinic monthly. I generally see the psych doctor every time not just the nurse. He looked at all the meds I was on (six psych, two BP meds, one prescription prilosec for acid reflux), but focusing on the psych meds saw my Neurontin and said you don't have seizures do you and I said yes I had a grand mal in 2005 and almost died. Then had two petit mals in 2012. He took me off it and took the bottle from me then asking hey shouldn't I taper off that first? (OK to clarify, he used to be the town's forming family health doctor office. I have no idea what he is doing in the pych practice at 70 but OK, I'll give him a chance).

Soo... by day 10 I was trembling and twitching. I called the nurse and said GET ME BACK ON MY NEURONTIN I'm about to have a seizure. Then I had to go pick it up. I said oh and by the way when he gets back from his nice two week vacation at the beach YOU DON'T FIX WHAT AIN'T BROKE. SO be it... if it takes me a cocktail of six psych meds to be stable (and I am now again thank God) then that's the way it has to be.

I see him again in a month. He's not taking away that "damn xanax" he says is just junk... I said doctor W., I have been on benzos since 1997 and I could seize again. I have severe panic attacks and need 6mg in 3 divided doses every day to stay stable, focused, and kills any agoraphobia so I can leave my house without out feeling paranoid. I don't do drugs or drink alcohol but yes I do occasionally smoke some p*t. Those are the good days because I sleep well at night.

Anyhow so this mess of a clinic and the quacks there don't really see us as patients just problems that pay little money that we have for their services. A bud of mine introduced me to the clinic and we both see different doctors (he has schizoaffective too but he never admits it but me and his mom know he does. He's constantly repeating "Full Metal Jacket" lines and "Slingblade"and those have been the only two he seems to quote over the three years I've know him. He is in terrible shape for being a 37yr old. Heck he's on cholesterol drugs and i'm in excellent shape at 46 with a nice BP of 103/64 and I bike 30 minutes every day and some days for 90 minutes on my BMX Bike on the street (no i don't do tricks anymore or am a part of the nitro circus). I may pop some wheelies but that's it.

Anyhow long story short I'm sticking with my meds all 9 of them because I'm stable on them and functional to a certain extent that I can at least leave my house. Can't do Walmart anymore... go figure "sensory overload" anybody?

So I've been relatively calm over the last year and slightly manic but that's ok.

Bike riding with my mp3 player set to metal is awesome after a ride I feel so refreshed and relaxed. Me and my bipolar GF about my age are looking into moving from Virginia to Pensacola, FL in about six months. We'll live with her parents until we can find a house to rent. No more -1 degree outside in the stupid winter. I can hang out in shorts in 40 degree weather and a sweatshirt.

Take care people and take care of someone else that needs help.

Much Peace,

dmhobbit

dx: schizoaffective bipolar type, panic disorder, OCD, depression, psychosis
rx: Neurontin, Xanax, Lamictal, Nortriptyline, Zyprexa, and Seroquel

I just finished installing Windows 10 on my laptop after several fits of screaming at it to just work its finally about there all my apps work and some things are even faster than they were in Windows 8.1. No sleep, very tired, going to zone out on pandora. Peace.

[Zeus123]

Welcome back! I've had my own rollercoaster ride but feel as though I am getting a grip. Maybe it's the combination of meds and therapy. I take an antidepressant and a antipsychotic pill. Some nights are better than others. Although, last night I was in a rage and blew up at my husband and kids. I was feeling ignored and it got out of hand. Today, I focused on taking care of me and went for a bike ride...my fave, too! Glad my bike is fixed. It calmed me down bc I was still feeling hurt this morning. I sympathize with you having seizures. I had them when I was little and one day they stopped. Same with my daughter.
Hope your DR works out. Mine is ready to retire soon but he'll do. I imagine stopping all treatment but now realize it's what keeps me balanced. I hate it though...just tired of it. I try to keep focused on positive thoughts, they can be hard to find some days but it's what changes my mood for the better. Small steps can be frustrating and I get impatient but I gotta start somewhere. Hope you find your peace, too. Take care!

[dmhobbit]

Originally Posted by Zeus123

Welcome back! I've had my own rollercoaster ride but feel as though I am getting a grip. Maybe it's the combination of meds and therapy. I take an antidepressant and a antipsychotic pill. Some nights are better than others. Although, last night I was in a rage and blew up at my husband and kids. I was feeling ignored and it got out of hand. Today, I focused on taking care of me and went for a bike ride...my fave, too! Glad my bike is fixed. It calmed me down bc I was still feeling hurt this morning. I sympathize with you having seizures. I had them when I was little and one day they stopped. Same with my daughter.
Hope your DR works out. Mine is ready to retire soon but he'll do. I imagine stopping all treatment but now realize it's what keeps me balanced. I hate it though...just tired of it. I try to keep focused on positive thoughts, they can be hard to find some days but it's what changes my mood for the better. Small steps can be frustrating and I get impatient but I gotta start somewhere. Hope you find your peace, too. Take care!

Hey Zeus isn't biking killer. I used to be an expert country traveling BMX racer from 1985-2007 but after too many broken bones and at my age I can't afford to be screwed up and injured recovering for a year. Yea I stay away from the city BMX track I spent a lot of time in my youth. I feel same way after a vigorous 30 minute hill spin ride. Gonna do that in a few here need soda nothing to drink in the fridge. Had carbs for dinner (pasta) so I'm ready to go.

I miss this group and the anxiety group... but I did join the agoraphobia/anxiety/depression group on Facebook and there are some nice chaps and ladies in there and the moderators keep folks in line. I may post in the panic/anxiety forum here as I need advice and I am *not* changing *any* meds I'm on now because now that I'm back on Neurontin I don't have the shakes and always a good idea to be on an anti-convulsent when taking benzos. I'm right at my mark according to mayoclinic and webmd - 6mg a day in 3 doses of xanax. Plus the exercise gets me out of my hobbit basement apartment hole and I can enjoy my neighborhood and bike and put on my mp3 player and just spin man just spin. Funny... I don't get the new school of bmxers but they have their seats slammed down into the seat post... smh... even Stu Thompson BMX legend had his seat up at least a foot. It was just how we rolled in the 80's LOL.

Anyhow to you and everyone here take care and enjoy what is left of the summer cause I'm moving to Pensacola, Fl in six months with my GF... It will be nice to have winter be like 40 instead of -2F here in Virginia.

Much Peace... dmhobbit

[SillyKitty]

I just rejoined, too. I was bored one day and thought, "huh I only go there when I'm bad off. Wonder what it'd be like if I could help..."

I'm thinking of getting a bike. I'm glad you found something that calms you. I like getting up around five am so I can sit outside a couple hours, listening to angry music and drinking my coffee before everyone is up. Try Get Scared. They're pretty awesome.

[dmhobbit]

Originally Posted by SillyKitty

I just rejoined, too. I was bored one day and thought, "huh I only go there when I'm bad off. Wonder what it'd be like if I could help..."

I'm thinking of getting a bike. I'm glad you found something that calms you. I like getting up around five am so I can sit outside a couple hours, listening to angry music and drinking my coffee before everyone is up. Try Get Scared. They're pretty awesome.

WB!!! yea I missed hanging out and learning about my disorders with you wonderful people .

Wow Klonopin AND Ativan... two benzos? I take Xanax 2mg 3x daily but I can get by on 4mg I save them for when I have to go out or (eek... Walmart, talk about sensory overload and pushy customers and their carts). I really can say much cause I'm on max 20mg of Zyprexa a night AND 100mg of Seroquel (the Seroquel puts me to sleep for about 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and believe me I've tried all the other prescription sleeping meds and they did nothing compared to the great sleep I get with Seroquel).

KIT, dmhobbit

[SillyKitty]

Originally Posted by dmhobbit

WB!!! yea I missed hanging out and learning about my disorders with you wonderful people .

Wow Klonopin AND Ativan... two benzos? I take Xanax 2mg 3x daily but I can get by on 4mg I save them for when I have to go out or (eek... Walmart, talk about sensory overload and pushy customers and their carts). I really can say much cause I'm on max 20mg of Zyprexa a night AND 100mg of Seroquel (the Seroquel puts me to sleep for about 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and believe me I've tried all the other prescription sleeping meds and they did nothing compared to the great sleep I get with Seroquel).

KIT, dmhobbit

Yeah, two. My pharmacist always pulls me to the side, so I try not to refill them at the same time. The Ativan is PRN. I don't use it too terribly much, but yeahhhh. lol

[SillyKitty]

I tried to get off of Trazadone, but I started getting about four hours sleep a night. Falling asleep all day. I'm going to try going to school this fall, so that won't do. Had to get back on it. Now I'm back to 8-8 1/2 hrs. You should have seen my before list. Trying to cut back.

[dmhobbit]

Originally Posted by SillyKitty

I tried to get off of Trazadone, but I started getting about four hours sleep a night. Falling asleep all day. I'm going to try going to school this fall, so that won't do. Had to get back on it. Now I'm back to 8-8 1/2 hrs. You should have seen my before list. Trying to cut back.

I used to be on Trazadone and did get good sleep but I couldn't take the "med head" Trazadone morning hangover for an hour. I researched and found Seroquel in low doses (at 100mg or lower) works for me awesomeness!!! I wake up refreshed sort of and after a few mugs of coffee I'm good to go. I also try and take only the minimum Xanax during my day. Most day I do 1mg 4x daily. That gives me room to take an extra pill when I need to go to Walmart with my girlfriend.

Blessed be and Merry Part,
~dmhobbit~