I don't get it. How could I be psychotic for a year? It can't be scizoaffective because the whole time I was SEVERELY depressed and sometimes euphoric when I focused enough. I wasn't up down, up down. With schizoaffective you need to be psychotic at least for 2 weeks without a mood disorder present. So it's not quite schizoaffective, nor bipolar, nor was my mania ever really high, but controlled when I focused hard enough. I had to earn them almost.

How could I have a psychotic bipolar episode for an entire year? I would still be psychotic if I wasn't on meds. My dad has been psychotic since 2001.

On the flip side, how could it be schizoaffective? I have no cognitive decline whatsoever. Nor was I ever mood free.

Nor did my moods go up and do, up and down. It was always severe depression except when I focus on sex, philosophy and music.

Can anyone help me understand this?

I'm so sorry for all the confusion you are feeling. I wish I could answer your questions. It's not easy to accept mental illness and sometimes our illness itself tricks us into not seeing it.

Do you feel you need a second opinion perhaps?

[avlady]

you may or should see a t and doc.or it also seems like you are already because you;re already on meds?