[can't wake up]

I'm recovering from a terrible onset of schizoaffective disorder. Things seemed okay for so long but recently I'm always terrified. I'm so scared that I'll go crazy again and that this time it will be permanent. I feel like I'm slowly creeping down a cliff and at any moment I could loose my footing and fall down to the very bottom. It feels like someone's sitting on my chest and sometimes I hear whispers.

I really don't want to say something is wrong because my parents would make me quit my job and try to force me to have an aid follow me around at school.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Hi can't wake up....welcome to pc.

This sounds like anxiety....one of the best things you can do for anxiety is work through it with cbt therapy. Do you have a therapist?

[can't wake up]

I do but I rarely see her and lately my parents haven't been able to be bothered to book me an appointment and I can't do it myself.

[neodoering]

I share your feelings of fear that you are going to go barking mad and not come back again. I am SZA and currently in an up cycle (reduced symptoms that do not go on as long and are not as intense), and I worry every day about when the down cycle is going to begin.

I am not anxious all the time, so I don't know what to tell you for that. You need to see your pdoc as soon as possible and tell her what you are going through.