[greenescape14]

Hello. I am new to this forum and just looking for support regarding my partner's (of 5 years) schizoaffective diagnosis. He was diagnosed in May and has been on Vraylar since June. He only started therapy a week ago.

While I have noticed a huge improvement, and he has too, he does something that I am unfamiliar with, though my own therapist told me is normal for someone with schizoaffective disorder. He disappears.

He'll go out for a walk and won't come back for hours. And by hours I mean 6, 12, 24, and the latest - 32 hours. He'll sleep on a park bench, walk around, etc. He told me yesterday when he got back that he contemplated suicide.

Is this normal?? I am struggling with it so hard core. The intense worry, anxiety, fear, concern, all of it comes out in complete rage when he finally comes home because I am so hurt and upset that he didn't contact me or respond to my numerous texts and calls.

He tried to explain that he gets in his head and he can't promise he won't be gone for an extended period of time again.

This time I reached my breaking point and I'm not sure if I can do this anymore but I really wanted to reach out to people with this disorder or someone with more knowledge and ask your thoughts.

Why is this happening? Can he do anything to lessen it or does that all come from right meds and good therapy? I'm so past my breaking point with this I don't even know what to do besides run for the hills. Help.

[SlumberKitty]

I don't have schizoaffective disorder, I have depression with psychotic features, but I've done this. It was more back when I wasn't medicated and although I was never gone 24 hours, I would easily be gone 6...8...whatever, just walking all over town, miles and miles, or out in the desert away from everybody and everything. I haven't done it since I've been on a more regulated medication routine with therapy mixed in. IDK if it is normal, it seemed normal to me at the time and it helped my thoughts to calm down. Also I was suicidal a lot at the time and that walking seemed to help me be more at peace. I can't say for sure if that is what is going on with your partner. It might be something to bring up to his doctor if you are able to talk to them. I'm sorry you are struggling with the worry and the fear and concern. I certainly never meant to make anyone worry about me. But I'm sure I did. HUGS Kit

[greenescape14]

SlumberKitty, that was very helpful, thank you. Yes, he told me he was suicidal on his walk this time and contemplated it for quite some time. His medication was just upped and he has only one appointment with his therapist under his belt - another coming up this weekend. I think it does bring him peace but it worries the ***** out of me!

What made you return home after your long walks? Is there anything I can do to get him to not leave or to come home sooner than he does?

[Aviza]

I disappeared and walked alot, drove cross country, etc. For me it was about the voices. I'd be experiencing something and be involved with the voices. The right meds took me out of it. But as I was coming down I'd go for long walks to avoid bothering the people I was with with my chatter. The right med took a few weeks, the wrong med I was on for months, chattering away.

[Under*Over]

I mean sometimes I just have a need to get OUT. Especially when manic or psychotic. I get restless and need a break from whatever Im doing. For me though, no one much cares where I go so it isnt something where I immediately identify with “disappearing for long periods of time”, though I do suppose that thats what is happening.

[greenescape14]

I'm not sure if he hears voices anymore. He did. But it was very hard for him to explain to me what the voices were like and I know he's not outright chatting to himself (or the voices). I know he is in his head though, as he has told me he is talking in his head. His med dosage was increased, hopefully that will help.

I too believe it is mania. I definitely see him getting restless, VERY restless, and h needs a break so he just goes. Like you said, Under*Over, he just needs to get out.

I do care and worry about him, especially after a certain amount of time, and it something I don't think I can keep going through as it causes such anxiety for me and I have my own mental health issues.

I know it's not about me or against me or anything but it is extremely hard to live with. Perhaps if he didn't have someone freaking out when he's gone for 24 hours it would be easier for him to return home.

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by greenescape14

SlumberKitty, that was very helpful, thank you. Yes, he told me he was suicidal on his walk this time and contemplated it for quite some time. His medication was just upped and he has only one appointment with his therapist under his belt - another coming up this weekend. I think it does bring him peace but it worries the ***** out of me!

What made you return home after your long walks? Is there anything I can do to get him to not leave or to come home sooner than he does?

I don't think anything could get me to not leave because it was like a compulsion to leave and go outside and just walk. What made me come home? Hunger, thirst, physical things like that. It was probably very annoying for my parents. But they seemed to tolerate it as they knew it was something that I needed to do. It was like out of my control. But now that I'm medicated and on an antipsychotic I don't do it. I will just walk for like an hour and come home.

[greenescape14]

IT's good to know that it's like a compulsion and out of your control and nothing could get you to stay. He does seem to come home when he wants to shower and is super tired but besides that, he's a grown man who makes money so he can stop and get something to eat and drink on his walk. I'm hoping that the upping of his meds will also help, like they did for you, and an hour walk will be good enough.