[bpforever1]

I feel fine. The room is spinning a little now, and my dizziness is much better than before when the room was spinning faster. I feel quite good actually.

I did my administrative tasks. I am now ready to write my lay summary for a scientific paper. It takes me a lot of time. I'm doing this for practice. I find it rather difficult to write lay summaries. But, the more I write, the better I should become.

I have all day to write today. I will first finish the lay summary if possible then send it in for others to read and correct. Then, I will start thinking of writing my application essays. I have to write about 20 pages of material for the application. Lol, I have a hard enough time writing one page let alone 20 pages. This is going to take me some time. I am giving myself about a month and a half to write 10 pages of material. Afterward, I just need to expand on my ideas for the last 10 pages.

I'm good at brain dumping, but not writing cohesively. I will gather all of my thoughts and dump them on paper and see what happens. Brain dumping or brainstorming is fun. The rest of it is hard work.

I have been writing daily in a journal. But, it is not the same if you ask me. Journaling is fun too. But, I just write whatever comes to mind without worrying about mistakes.

I want to talk to another person with schizoaffective disorder who has a foundation. But, she is busy for now. Hopefully, she will write me back.

I'm doing well overall. I'm productive and compliant. I sleep and eat well. Life is good. I have a place to sleep, food to eat, and clothes to wear. I'm grateful for my life and situation. I used to be bitter but am past that now. I am so much happier these days. Although I'm doing everything on my own, I feel free and am independent. Nobody bothers me. I prefer it this way. My self-care has improved. I have to be on camera so I can't be too disheveled in my appearance. I do my best to look presentable. And, I feel good about myself.

[MuddyBoots]

Thorazine is probably the most helpful/side effect friendly med I've ever been on. Only a few days and I'm feeling much better today. I actually slept last night!

[Deilla]

I don't feel well today. I'm out of iced coffee. I can't get any more until tomorrow. I feel nauseated. I also feel tired. I'm depressed because I don't have much food and it gets worse every week. I eat more than I buy. But I can't buy more than I'm buying. I have a budget. My therapist suggests I go to a food bank. But I don't know. I would feel bad about myself. I already feel bad enough.

[Brego]

I have spurts of energy at the wrong time all the time. I want to rearrange my room at night sometimes. I just stay up because it's most definitely not going to happen.

[Deilla]

I've been doing better lately. I've been keeping busy with art, music and gaming. I'm doing my chores and I started walking. I can walk now. But I have to take it easy. I get sore and achy. I haven't walked in over 3 years. I did half a mile the other day. Today, I am resting.

[Brego]

@Deilla, I am very glad for you. I am glad that you are finding enjoyment in these things.

I am finding fun in things as well. I like to discover new music for one thing. Grabbing the phone and trying to do something with it is a very new activity. Although I like the computer more,, it did not hurt to try. It actually helped, so I am thankful. I am very satisfied with how some of this turned out. I have this goal to make the cell phone be just the opposite of the computer. I want nothing like the computer on it. I just kind of want something simple, and my plan to try everything on the phone was complicated. So, I am glad that it's almost done. Super excited for some other activity. And that is saying something because I would not partake in life in any way all my life until the psychiatrists. I was not involved in a single thing. Now. I want to write a product review somewhere. Or a review on anything at all. Is there an app for that?

What all are your experiences with the computer and the phone? Do you have a tablet? Is it all arranged, or is it more like the same thing on everything?

[Deilla]

@Brego My phone and computer have some similar apps like Spotify for music, InstaCart for shopping and Social Media. Other than that, they are very different. My iPad is it's own unique thing. I only read books on it or listen to meditation apps. I hope you have fun setting it all up.

[bpforever1]

Although I'm concerned about my parents, I can't do anything about it. They do as they please. I will do as I please too.

I'm doing ok. Another week has gone by. I've been busy with work. Today, I exercised a little. This is a big leap for me since I have not been exercising for the past two months. I felt like a jelly donut bouncing all around. I hope to exercise more as time passes.

I am feeling ok. I signed up to substitute for other people who will take vacations this season. I don't know if they will need me, but I'm hoping to earn extra money.

I'm doing ok overall. I feel productive and am keeping my mind focused on writing in my downtime. I hope to continue writing for a while. I like the fact that it keeps me busy and out of trouble.

[Deilla]

I suffer a lot from depression and anxiety. I've been trying to stay calm but I have a wellness exam coming up and I'm not happy about it. I don't know how I will cope. I'm not coping well tonight and my problem this evening is that I'm all alone. I have no one. That happens a lot to me. It's my problem. I need to be secure in myself.

[MuddyBoots]

I've been in this fluctuating mixed state for weeks now. I talked to my NP about it but all she did was take me off scheduled valium so I could take it PRN.

[Deilla]

I'm very sad today. I'm trying not to be but I can't get past a hurt. I'm trying to let it go. Maybe I should try forgiveness and forgive myself too.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I'm very sad today. I'm trying not to be but I can't get past a hurt. I'm trying to let it go. Maybe I should try forgiveness and forgive myself too.

I'm so sorry you are hurting like this, Deilla! You are such a good friend for so many of us. I'm wishing for you!

[bpforever1]

I walked around and all over the place yesterday. I feel great! I hope to continue exercising a little each day. I feel so much better now. Today is ok too. I'm working. I will be fine for the rest of the week hopefully. I take my medication at night, allowing me to sleep well. I feel good overall. I have no complaints.

[Deilla]

It's nighttime and I am sad. I usually get pretty sad at night. I just took my meds. Maybe they will help some. I guess I can always go to bed early. That would help. But I was hoping to stay up a bit and feel better.

[Breaking Dawn]

Having trouble with the voices, etc.

[bpforever1]

Today I feel ok again. I was feeling a bit tired this morning and overslept but still made it in time to start work. I feel fine. I took my medication last night and inadvertently set my alarm for the afternoon time, not the morning. Lol, I barely made it this morning. So, life is charming. I have to do a lot of work but will be ok. I am learning to live for myself and do things on my own. I don't want to bother anybody nor get involved with anybody. I feel fine. I hope to make some lemonade out of lemons with my life. I used to be so disabled but am doing well now. I count my blessings. I am really grateful for what I have and my situation now. So, thank you God and the spirits who look after me. I feel good about myself. I hope everybody has a nice day as well.

[Deilla]

I'm feeling pretty bad. And on top of that, I can't cook. I ruined a batch of beans and rice. It's time for me to go to bed. I just keep waking up. Hopefully, I sleep longer this time.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I'm feeling pretty bad. And on top of that, I can't cook. I ruined a batch of beans and rice. It's time for me to go to bed. I just keep waking up. Hopefully, I sleep longer this time.

Deilla, I think we have all ruined the beans & rice at some time or other. At least I have. Wonderful cooks ruin things every once in a while. I think you need your fairy godmother during times like these.

[Brego]

I was experiencing more energy than I was ever used to. Now, I just feel at ease and am bothering with some mindless thing about what apps and websites to use.

[Deilla]

I've had a busy day. I'm just now getting to relax. I put cheese in my beans and rice. That helped some. My mom suggested ketchup. I'll try that tomorrow.