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Breaking Dawn
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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 07:36 PM
  #941
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Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
Struggling to feel.........acceptable today.
Dear @SlumberKitty, This makes me feel so sad! You should be one of the least likely to feel unacceptable, at least here in our MSF family! Everyone I know here looks up to you & loves you! I love you, too! Please don't believe those untrue thoughts that have hurt you! OK?

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Deilla
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Default Jan 06, 2022 at 04:03 PM
  #942
I'm lowering my expectations. People who I thought were friends aren't really friends. They're just acquaintances. So low, low, low, low, lower my expectations. Even my family doesn't love me. I have no one who cares.

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Default Jan 06, 2022 at 04:53 PM
  #943
HUGS Deilla. I'm sorry you are hurting. You have us.

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Default Jan 07, 2022 at 12:14 AM
  #944
Thank you for the hugs. They help. I do have you guys. I'm going through a hard time. And I can't find a sympathetic ear. I have my therapist. I guess I should count my blessings that I have that much. I'm at a low in my life. I don't know where my next meal is coming from. I don't know if I can afford medicine. I don't know if I can take care of my cats. I need a miracle. I need the doctor's office to give me samples of my medicine. I need food more. If I don't get the samples, I won't take the medicine.

Edit: I need a way to stop negative thoughts.

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Default Jan 07, 2022 at 02:09 PM
  #945
Hugs @Deilla

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Default Jan 16, 2022 at 04:38 AM
  #946
I'm doing ok. I am still working and surviving. I am hibernating a little since the number of infected cases is rising here. I feel ok overall. I chipped my tooth and have been going to the dentist daily to fix my teeth in general. I had not gone to the dentist in two years and well, it's a mess in my mouth. So, I have been busy cleaning and fixing my teeth now. I was afraid to go to the dentist here since well I'm stupid. Now, I'm paying the price for it. At least my health insurance pays for some of the treatment so the payments are not too bad. I got my teeth cleaned and it feels so different in my mouth. I have to say it was yucky before. I will keep on top of this to ensure I won't have the same problems. I am happy the health insurance covers some treatment here. Overall, I am doing fine. My mental health is stable- knock on wood. I feel blessed nevertheless. I am healthy in general and am not depressed. I am grateful for what I have and enjoy the little things in life.
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Default Jan 16, 2022 at 04:09 PM
  #947
I'm feeling very sad and lonely. I have my cats. I will go to bed early and sleep with them. It's the highlight of my day.

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Default Jan 19, 2022 at 10:36 PM
  #948
Voices were nicer today, but my mood & energy were low. I did manage to accomplish an impotant goal, though. I hope tomorrow I will be able to accomplish more.

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Default Jan 21, 2022 at 03:42 PM
  #949
I'm depressed.

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Default Jan 27, 2022 at 10:15 AM
  #950
I'm feeling very depressed. I'm afraid I may end up in the hospital.

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Default Jan 27, 2022 at 02:29 PM
  #951
HUGS @Deilla I hope you feel better soon so you don't have to go to the hospital.

Possible trigger:

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Default Jan 28, 2022 at 01:44 AM
  #952
Thanks! I got some new medication. One is Ambien. It's not working.

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Default Jan 28, 2022 at 08:49 AM
  #953
Not doing very well.

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Default Jan 28, 2022 at 02:45 PM
  #954
HUGS @Deilla

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Default Jan 28, 2022 at 02:45 PM
  #955

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Default Jan 28, 2022 at 03:24 PM
  #956
I'm going to try and go without my Haldol injection. I will still take valium for sleep and PRN Thorazine (which has a lot more tolerable side effects for me than Haldol though I am still taking a risk due to it's anticholinergic effects and having a recent history of urinary retention so I will keep it to PRN use). I'm supposed to get the injection in exactly a week and I'm already feeling it's effects wear off. I've noticed the meds that are supposed to last 4 weeks (Invega Sustenna, Abilify Maintenna) last 3 weeks, and Risperdal Consta lasted more like 10 days instead of two weeks so this is pretty typical, at least for me.

I feel like I'm doing really well for the first time in a while. I don't feel manic, depressed, paranoid, or anything intense really. Maybe anxious but I have had two cups of coffee today which is a lot for me considering I haven't had any caffeinated beverages in a couple months.

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Default Feb 06, 2022 at 04:25 AM
  #957
Well, I'm going back to the good ole USA for good this time. I quit my job for personal reasons. I want to return home to become a peer counselor then return to school and become a medical interpreter for the deaf. Well, this all seems easier said than done since I'm still in another country. I want to return home soon. I realized my life here is limited. I could not get ahead financially since I am paying exorbitant taxes. I had an ok time. I liked my job but the hours were horrendous and the pay abysmal. So, I did not renew my contract and am heading home soon once I can get a plane ticket and also make sure I don't get sick with covid-19. At least, I am not ill. I was becoming ill since I could not sleep but I slept for about two days and am fine now. I was really unhappy working in the wee hours in the morning then working at nights as well. The good thing is that I built up my confidence while working. I did a great job and it makes me feel good about myself. I know I can do things if I set my mind to them. I am happy to have had the experience here but don't want to work at a low-paying job that only puts me in a situation where I'm working to pay high taxes. I did not really enjoy myself here since all I did was work mostly. I miss my mother who is sick and my family as well. I realized no matter what nobody is an island. I am feeling ok about my situation. Life has not been bad despite the current pandemic. I did ok given the circumstances. I am stable mentally and have one more appointment with the psychdoc here before I go home. I am really looking to going home for good. I have NO interest in making a living here again. America is my home country. Although there are bad things about the USA, it is home for me. At least, there are opportunities in America for the elderly like me although limited. Also, my family is there.
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Default Feb 06, 2022 at 07:51 PM
  #958
Hi, @bpforever1! What an adventure you had! Wow. And so many interesting memories to treasure. And my goodness, you are so smart! And brave! Tell us more about your trip back home, ok? Good luck with everything!

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Default Feb 07, 2022 at 07:36 PM
  #959
Copacetic chaos.

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Default Feb 08, 2022 at 12:57 AM
  #960
The sad news is I believe my mother and father have dementia. My mother is so combative and my father can't talk about anything too serious. I don't know why my brother has not gotten them diagnosed yet by doctors. I will try my best to carry on. It is hard. I just want to sleep forever and forget about it.
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