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Default Apr 16, 2020 at 04:22 AM
  #121
I'm taking this job one day at a time. I want to have at least 20 hours a week and am slowly getting there. I have odd hours in the morning and night. But, I have not had a job in two years so am feeling blessed about this new job. At my age, even this job seems like a God-send. I feel very grateful about my situation. I also feel tired most of the time due to my medication, I believe. I drink coffee to alleviate this tiredness. I have heard about others being laid off now and others who left their jobs. As a result, I really appreciate my situation. I work online now but will have to show up in person after this covid -19 situation improves. I am not really looking forward to showing up in person but, at least, it is better than being locked in all day.

I also met a man online who is supportive of me. He adores me and tells me to be free. I tell him the same. I like him much but know the best I can do with my situation is to take care of myself and work. I am in no position to take care of others. So, our relationship is more like a friendship although he said he would come to visit me one day after the covid-19 situation resolves, whenever that will be. I talk to him daily about all subjects. He is like my best friend now. hmmmm, he is a good man and a good friend to me.

Anyways, I am happy about my life now! I have to keep this job for at least a year according to my contract. Hopefully, it will become easier for me as time passes. Right now, I have to prepare a lot for each assignment. I am a teacher online. So, my assignments are students and meetings with students. I really love teaching. It is fun!! However, the pay is really low but better than doing nothing. I love all of my students too, so far. I work for a company too, not a school. It is all for profit for the company, but for me, I really enjoy teaching students from all backgrounds.


I take my medication each morning after I wake up now. It is good for me because I forget easily. I think the medication is helping me to remain calm and stable. I am thankful for this medication!

Life is good!! I will make sure to do well each day by motivating myself to take my medication, taking care of myself, and by working.
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Default Apr 16, 2020 at 02:00 PM
  #122
Glad the job is going well @bpforever1

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Default Apr 17, 2020 at 03:36 AM
  #123
I am grateful as I said for my job. It is a fun job!! I am meeting all kinds of people.

I am exercising still but am not as disciplined about it. Sometimes, I feel tired then I rest.


I have not met anybody since I came to my new country. I feel ok about it. It is better to be safe than sorry.

I watch homeless documentaries when I can. It breaks my heart about the homeless, but I used to be one of them. I have been blessed to come this far in a short period of time. However, since I was homeless, I had a serious setback two years ago because I stopped my medication. Thus, I don't want to repeat history again. I report taking my medication daily to my father. He is happy I do this. I feel tired at times from it but have no major complaints because it has been helping me remain stable.

Life is amazing! I've had my ups and downs. I have to say I've had more down periods than up periods. I'd like to change this. Ever since I've had psychosis, it has been a battle for me. But, the medication is really helpful these days. When I first became psychotic, I changed from rispedal to Zyprexa to Seroquel to Clozapine to Geodon to Abilify. Abilify, it is for me now. This medication helps but at times mild psychosis breaks through then I stop my medication. I have to remember when the symptoms come worse to see my doctor and take my medication faithfully. I was doing well for three years then decided the heck with it. But, I had a hard time with my parents this last time. They never allowed me to go out the house without them. It was like being in prison! I had enough of this, I thought. I need to become more responsible for myself or else, just check out of life. I decided to fight for my freedom!! And, I am free now!!


I am free and working. I am healthy too!! I thank God for my life and the blessings!! I must say after two years of imprisonment, I was ready to check out, thank God, I did not.


The man who befriended me is nice and supportive! He is good to me. But, as I said, we will remain just friends.

Well, I have to teach tonight. I have to teach this weekend too!! Life is swell.
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Default Apr 23, 2020 at 01:15 AM
  #124
I am receiving more students and am getting closer to 20 hours a week. Thank you, God, for your blessings!! I will be ok. I am busy and am feeling tired but am happy so far. I have the late mornings and afternoons off. I sleep during this time. I feel good that I am working again and hoping to persevere! Next week, I see my doctor again. Thank you all for your support!!
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Default Apr 28, 2020 at 02:41 PM
  #125
Bpforever1
Its great to hear of your good fortunes. Keep up the good work, I know you can do it.
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Default Apr 29, 2020 at 07:09 AM
  #126
Thank you! I'm going to go slowly with increasing my hours. I am having some difficulty keeping up already. I feel tired and exhausted all of the time. I am almost at 20 hours but am not worried about it now because of my feelings of exhaustion. I am working seven days a week with a few hours on some days to just half an hour per day. It is not bad but have to wake up early and work at nights too. I will persevere. On the other hand, I met a man online who I will meet next week. Nice man!! He is funny and talkative!! He works hard and is doing well. May be he will become my boyfriend, who knows! So, I am feeling ok nevertheless!!
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Default May 01, 2020 at 07:46 PM
  #127
I am getting to 20 hours and am so close that it is a nail-biting experience. I am doing well. I met the man yesterday and it went well. He is funny and interesting. I don't expect to marry him but hope we can be friends and lovers if we both have the time. My work is exhausting. I work from 6am then have a 10 hour break in between then work until about 11pm. It is not easy although I'm just working a few hours a day. My sleep schedule is off now. I feel ok today though. I am grateful that I have work. I feel blessed about my life. I am earning money and doing fine. My former psydoc said I could never get disability and it is not worth it anyways, he said. Whatever!! I have no opinion about people on it. I thought when I was really psychotic, I could get it. But, he said no. Well, it made me determined to find a job!! And, here I am working. So, not all endings are bad. I feel great!! Thank you all for your support!!
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Default May 05, 2020 at 12:47 PM
  #128
Glad you are doing well @bpforever1

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Default May 05, 2020 at 12:48 PM
  #129
I am doing pretty good. Not having as many crises.

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Default May 05, 2020 at 04:03 PM
  #130
I've been doing better.
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Default May 05, 2020 at 04:25 PM
  #131
Yeah! That's good to hear @Breaking Dawn!

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Heart May 05, 2020 at 05:12 PM
  #132
Thank you, Kit! And I'm glad you are doing better, too! Even a little bit can make such a difference. Hugs & love!!
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Default May 06, 2020 at 11:51 PM
  #133
I'm doing well. I did not meet the man from Bumble again. I blocked him because he lost interest. Well, I have an online buddy, he is nice. I have a few online buddies but only one is very supportive of me!! I am happy. Tomorrow, I return to work. I will be fine. I need to prepare tonight because I start at 6am. I like my job. I took my medication, exercised, and ate healthy so far today. Tonight, I will just drink liquids. I want to lose some weight because I feel tired all of the time. I drink coffee to combat this. I am doing well and it has been about two months since I've been here. I am doing absolutely fabulous!! I have no breaks for awhile though. I hope to continue persevering. I'd like to take on as many hours as possible too. So far, I'm able to do it. But, I was getting tired! I will try to go out and exercise daily- 20 flights of stairs and eat healthy too. I am happy for once. I was truly unhappy at home with my family. Boy, they treated me like a prisoner. Thus, I don't want to return home. I understand I was depending on them financially, etc. But, I never could go out of the house by myself for the last year or so. It was awful!! Now, I'm free as a bird but need to work. It is a trade off. I like working so it is not a burden. I just have to remind myself to take my medication. Then, everything else works out just fine for me. So simple- to take medication daily. But, for me, it is quite a feat to continue being compliant. Have a good day y'all!!
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Default May 08, 2020 at 12:15 AM
  #134
I returned to work and also walked outside and went upstairs -20 flights. I feel fine. I had to wake up at 4:45am this morning. But, I took a nap already. I am doing well. I will try to eat healthy too today.
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Default May 08, 2020 at 12:52 AM
  #135
Not one of my best days, but could be a lot worse & I'm glad it isn't.
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Default May 08, 2020 at 07:38 PM
  #136
I have to work today. I am going to teach straight for four hours in a row today then another hour after this. I am doing well. I took my medication this morning. I also exercised by walking outside and going up the stairs 20 flights. I feel fine. I drank my cup of coffee. I have to work until 10pm tonight, then do clerical work afterwards. It's going to be a long day today!!
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Default May 08, 2020 at 10:40 PM
  #137
I wish I had more direction from my psychiatrist! He's being extremely vague these days and saying that I'll do fine with a lower dose of meds. I guess I don't believe him. It's not too good. Or maybe I'm just getting overly worried about the covid-19 situation, but I still don't know. It seems like everything is really hard these days. I kind of wish I would be able to go back on some of the meds I was on before. I hate this hands-off approach that my psychiatrist has these days. It is not good.
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Default May 09, 2020 at 07:53 AM
  #138
I got mostly good reviews but my 6am student complained about me. All we did was do introductions and she complained I talk too fast, etc. So, I have to be careful. My other evaluations were positive. I had a meeting with the manager. He said , yeah, we are happy to have you on the team but we have to accommodate our customers. It is the last time I am thinking introductions are not going to count against me. I had not even taught her yet. The student is an *****. I have to teach her still. She is a living nightmare. I say duh duh and she thinks it is a word. I can't believe she is that dumb. But, she is. Oh well, I can't win them all. I am not going to worry too much about it. I was going to tell my family but they have their own problems. So, I am just venting here. I don't think I am that bad as an employee. But, she made it sound like I was rude and uncaring. I was just doing an introduction to myself. What are you expecting? I hold your hand and we say this is A for apple B for boy. Some of these customers were taught English in school. The biggest phrase they can say is my name is duh duh. It is a shame but, I guess, this is why I have a job. What a living nightmare. I am being expected to teach her to speak conversational English. Please wish me luck!! I need it. She complains then can't even say a decent sentence. Oh well, honey!! I will be ok. She just gets on my nerves. I was trying to be friendly but must have come off as aloof? whatever, the culture here is mind boggling. I hope I don't get another customer like her again!! I had to teach other students while dealing with the manager about addressing her complaints. It was stressful but I pulled it off somehow. I hope this does not occur again!! Sometimes, things happen for a reason. But, she did not even give me a chance to show my skills as a teacher. She just went to the management and complained about me. Whatever!!I am doing well otherwise until I meet her again on Monday. Good grief!! Well, it is just a job. I will be objective and just think this way.
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Default May 09, 2020 at 06:12 PM
  #139
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Originally Posted by bpforever1 View Post
I got mostly good reviews but my 6am student complained about me. All we did was do introductions and she complained I talk too fast, etc. So, I have to be careful. My other evaluations were positive. I had a meeting with the manager. He said , yeah, we are happy to have you on the team but we have to accommodate our customers. It is the last time I am thinking introductions are not going to count against me. I had not even taught her yet. The student is an *****. I have to teach her still. She is a living nightmare. I say duh duh and she thinks it is a word. I can't believe she is that dumb. But, she is. Oh well, I can't win them all. I am not going to worry too much about it. I was going to tell my family but they have their own problems. So, I am just venting here. I don't think I am that bad as an employee. But, she made it sound like I was rude and uncaring. I was just doing an introduction to myself. What are you expecting? I hold your hand and we say this is A for apple B for boy. Some of these customers were taught English in school. The biggest phrase they can say is my name is duh duh. It is a shame but, I guess, this is why I have a job. What a living nightmare. I am being expected to teach her to speak conversational English. Please wish me luck!! I need it. She complains then can't even say a decent sentence. Oh well, honey!! I will be ok. She just gets on my nerves. I was trying to be friendly but must have come off as aloof? whatever, the culture here is mind boggling. I hope I don't get another customer like her again!! I had to teach other students while dealing with the manager about addressing her complaints. It was stressful but I pulled it off somehow. I hope this does not occur again!! Sometimes, things happen for a reason. But, she did not even give me a chance to show my skills as a teacher. She just went to the management and complained about me. Whatever!!I am doing well otherwise until I meet her again on Monday. Good grief!! Well, it is just a job. I will be objective and just think this way.

I'm sorry you got a bad review. I also teach and sometimes those reviews can be extremely frustrating, especially when they're for "trial lessons" or things of the like. I absolutely abhor when students give me bad reviews. I empathize with that... Just saying.
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Default May 09, 2020 at 10:06 PM
  #140
Thank you, wasting asparagus. Yes, it was just had an initial introduction with her and she complained. Oh well, I'll keep it in mind but am not too worried about it anymore. She is mean, probably is frustrated she is spending all of this money, but is not learning that much. I will do my best to teach her and hope she learns something.


I am doing well. I woke up late but have a class this afternoon. I am fine. I will go out shopping today afterwards. I am feeling somewhat relaxed and happy.
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