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Default Aug 16, 2022 at 01:53 PM
  #41
Meh. I am okay I guess. I'm not doing great. But I am trying to hang in there.

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Heart Aug 16, 2022 at 09:42 PM
  #42
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Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
Meh. I am okay I guess. I'm not doing great. But I am trying to hang in there.
I hope you feel a lot better real soon, dear Kit. Sending wishes filled with love and healing energy from the cosmos and angels.

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Default Aug 29, 2022 at 07:12 PM
  #43
I had to quit my online therapy. So I feel very alone. My gf is in Italy and is very busy. So often I don't hear from her. I didn't hear from her this afternoon. So I am very sad. I know I shouldn't let it get me down, but it's disappointing. I have no one to talk to. I tried calling my mom to chat, but my mom didn't answer the phone. My sisters rarely talk to me. I did email a couple of friends, so that is good.

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Default Sep 07, 2022 at 12:33 PM
  #44
I'm doing better. My classes are fun and challenging. I'm doing well. My mother is still a harangutan- orangutan. But, I feel good about myself. My family values me now since I do chores and tasks. I also am stable because of my shots. I'm happy to be busy. My mother is improving too. I'm happy for her.
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Default Sep 07, 2022 at 12:40 PM
  #45
I'm doing ok right now.

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Default Sep 07, 2022 at 09:11 PM
  #46
I'm doing ok. I am waiting for my brother and dad to return home to eat dinner. I made curry with my mom. I feel really good that I returned home. I have a family still. My parents are elderly but they taught me that life continues with age and stops only with death. My illness is stable again. The shots really work. The side effects are the same- sleepiness and hunger. I can tolerate these over psychotic symptoms. I sometimes wish that I won't become psychotic again but this is not the case. I know I probably will get stressed again but need to just get my shots no matter what. I actually like the feeling of calmness now. Before, I was agitated. I will survive. But, I want to be happy surviving and healthy. I don't watch the news that much anymore because it is depressing. I am in my own world. I try to do things that make me happy.


My bookkeeping class drives me nuts though. I like making tables but balancing debits and credits is driving me batty. I never took an accounting class before and now am taking two. I want to take two more classes in accounting to help my family's business. But, that will do it for me. I'm taking classes with people who want to be certified accountants. It makes me laugh because I find it to be laborious and tedious. But, I guess, someone has to do accounting in the world. I am not business-oriented but realize counting money is important for economic survival. I like the challenge of learning new skills but can't see myself balancing numbers for the rest of my life. Well, I know this is not for me. I do have to balance the books for my family's business but hopefully I will do this part-time for the time being and do another more interesting job.


I was really into my appearance while psychotic but now am not worried about it. I am not going to attract anyone nor am I interested in attracting anyone. I've gotten over being single and like being single. I enjoy my freedom and my independence. I also like just being with my family. I feel very blessed to have a family still despite their insanity.


Overall, I'm doing fine. I'm proud of myself for recovering and being productive. I also am happy my mother is recovering physically although she is progressively declining from dementia cognitively. It can't be helped. I try to understand her. Boy, she was mean to me throughout my life. But, she is my only mother. For better or worse she tried to do what she thought was right for herself. I got over trying to understand her insane ways. I just accept her and ignore her tantrums. She has been the most difficult person I know. I feel her pain for being a child of the war era. I know it must have been hard for her. She is a misogynist and hates being a woman- she told me this. So, I suffered because of her narrow-minded perspective. I know my mental illness is partially due to her genetics and to her treatment of me. I forgave her a long time ago for being cruel to me. My father was cruel to her too though. He is a typical male chauvinist pig. He never does housework and only changed my diaper once as a child. He made alot of mistakes too but I realized he did not know any better.

I forgave him too. As someone with an insane family, I turned out ok- I believe. I am not mad at the world- just insane myself at times. It could not be helped that I became mentally ill. I am trying to the the best I can to survive with it. At times, it is difficult since my family is not supportive continually. They are too old now. I am blessed to have come home to them while they are still alive. I feel very grateful about making the choice to return home. I would have been very sad to not see my mother again although she drives me nuts.


I am happier now. The shot really cleared my mind. Thank goodness!
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Default Sep 07, 2022 at 09:33 PM
  #47
Thank you, @bpforever1, for coming back & posting with us. I'm always wishing the best for you. The best of luck to you with all your endeavors!

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Default Sep 11, 2022 at 05:27 PM
  #48
I'm still having poor communication with my gf in Italy. Some of my friends say she is catfishing me. She has been promising to come for a visit but keeps changing her mind. I think she is just trying to get my hopes up for nothing. I don't know what's going on. When I ask direct questions, she won't answer. I didn't get to talk with her today. It makes me feel sad. I have been very stressed over the entire situation. I started smoking and vaping again. I quit a year ago. She's not worth me ruining my health. And my non-sensical voice has been very active, which is upsetting. But the stress is so great I can't control the voice.

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Default Sep 18, 2022 at 11:08 PM
  #49
My symptoms wanted to start doing more things. EEKK. I wasn't used to what all it was doing before, how do I cope? I better get some real sense of being able to handle this monster of Schizoaffective disorder.

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Default Sep 24, 2022 at 01:24 PM
  #50
I'm doing OK today. I slept really good last night. I have some lidocaine cream which I put on my ribs and hips that helped me sleep. Mentally, I'm good. No voices yet today. No mood changes. Me and my boyfriend are going up the beach today. He's going to play harmonica with his band for a party. Just going to support him and for the music. We live with my mom and brother.. Not a good situation, but that's how our finances are. It's sunny and 61F. Have a good day, Everyone!
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Default Sep 27, 2022 at 09:46 AM
  #51
Doing okay. Having a little bit of psychosis but not that bad. It's been 8 weeks since I was Inpatient in the psych hospital. I definitely think I have grown since then!

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Default Sep 27, 2022 at 10:11 AM
  #52
I'm glad you're doing better, @SlumberKitty!

At this moment I'm doing ok.

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Default Sep 27, 2022 at 10:32 AM
  #53
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I'm glad you're doing better, @SlumberKitty!

At this moment I'm doing ok.
Glad that you are okay @Breaking Dawn

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Default Sep 27, 2022 at 03:03 PM
  #54
I was going through some elevated moods as always. And today is like normal....

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Default Sep 27, 2022 at 08:18 PM
  #55
I am struggling but I'm trying to be positive and express gratitude. I'm lonely most of the time. I hate it. It makes me seek attention, and sometimes I end up with not-so-good circumstances.

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Default Sep 28, 2022 at 09:05 AM
  #56
Eh, a bit of psychosis. It's okay I guess. I just need to live with it.

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Default Sep 28, 2022 at 11:19 AM
  #57
I'm rising up & slipping down, off & on, so far today. I keep wishing for stamina.

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Default Sep 28, 2022 at 12:38 PM
  #58
I'm having trouble with motivation. Bleh.

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Default Sep 29, 2022 at 04:29 PM
  #59
I'm feeling normal actually but I too have little motivation to do things outside the house still. I'm going between Amazon and going out because I don't know what is this question's answer. Sometimes I believe I should have a little activity that I like to do. And right now I have: my lists of websites and my apps to go on, laundry & cleaning, TV watching, speaking to Mom and Dad, cooking, shopping, makeup with selfies. My sister said for me to quit doing the selfies and to be honest I agree but I don't have an activity. I tried to sunbathe a few times but it was hot and I was sweaty. BUT the thing is I got some sunscreen that tans the skin in the sun and I thought it was the funnest thing.

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Default Sep 29, 2022 at 04:52 PM
  #60
Today has been quite a challenge. Lots of road blocking. Can't seem to figure my way out. I'm so sad about losing a wonderful friend.

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