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Member Since Jan 2019
Location: New York, NY
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Default Sep 13, 2020 at 02:41 PM
I have been stable for at least 5 years. Before that, sometimes I saw or heard things.
One example was between 2009 and 2013. I sat in my living room and watched a scene on the wall as if it was a large screen. It was a sequence of violence and fire. I liken it to a combination of Hell and war. It turned out to be a reaction to Geodon. As soon as I told the doctor, they took me off it and I never had hallucinations like that again, nor had I ever before. As that particular instance was caused by medication, I do not attribute it to a disorder.
There were other examples, however. Over the years, I have had milder hallucinations that did not seem to be due to medication.
I do wonder whether I may just have bipolar disorder and the hallucinations I had were when I was manic only, or whether the diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder is correct. I am having trouble remembering. We are working on that question. Right now, I have a diagnosis of schizoaffective, but I also have a "rule-out" diagnosis of bipolar, which means just what it sounds like: we are trying to rule out bipolar.
I am convinced that over time I can overcome most or all the symptoms of mental disorder that I have. I want to research my disorders intensely and do everything I can. Maybe I will succeed, and it is definitely worth trying. In any case, I have cut down my symptoms and can alleviate more as time goes on.
Right now, I am trying to quit caffeine, as it adds to my higher mood states. I had about one 5-ounce cup of black tea today, down from two or three per day before yesterday.
I am doing other things to work on myself as well, which I feel are inappropriate for this post, so I will save them for elsewhere. As I am a survivor of trauma, some of the things I am saving for elsewhere are the traumatic experiences I have had. I am on another forum for those.
All in all, I feel solid about my recovery over the three decades I have struggled with mental disorder, and about my future.

I Wish You All Well,

"Do your best. That is all anyone can ask."
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Smile Sep 14, 2020 at 02:02 PM
Thanks for sharing your progress. You mentioned cutting down on black tea. If tea is something you enjoy, one alternative might be to switch to either green tea or white tea which has even less caffeine than does green. And then, of course, there are also "tisanes" (herbal & flavored teas which have no caffeine at all.) One great source of a variety of teas & tisanes is: "Teasource". Here's a link to their website:

Tea Collection | TeaSource

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Default Oct 16, 2020 at 12:50 PM
Wow! This is so encouraging!

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Default Jan 02, 2021 at 12:13 AM
I have been stable for the past 6 years. The visual hallucinations started when I was a toddler and culminated in 2003 with my seeing a troll in my kitchen stealing my water bottles. (Everyone has a kitchen troll, right?) When the psychosis passed, I realized that was a whopper of a hallucination and checked myself into the hospital. Several years later, I was finally placed on 2 antipsychotics and an antidepressant and have been stable ever since. Before that, it was lights, shadows, and voices from far away. I have kept a job for the past 5 years and even just changed jobs to a W@H job! I'm stable and hope to stay that way for a very long time. At least, until I lose my medical coverage, I should remain that way. I hope everyone will have a happy new year and wish you all the best!
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