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Member Since Dec 2011
Posts: 1
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#1
Hello,
This is my first post here. I would like to get some help with my boyfriend of about 3 1/2 years. Let me give you some back story to begin with. First of all we met through a online dating service when I was in a vulnerable place. I had broken up with my boyfriend just a couple of months previously and was pretty depressed at the time. I had a hard time dealing with the betrayal that I had gone through and therefore kept my current bf at a distance for a about a year. During that year we talked every day online, went out a couple of times a month and talked on the phone. We both had a good time together and after a while I decided to take the relationship further and we became a couple. He told me from the beginning that he was not the "sweet, romantic" type and although I was disappointed I decided to give him a chance. As the years went by I noticed that he was more than not romantic or sweet he was downright cold. Although he tries to show me affection once in a while ( when I nag him enough about it) he barely ever kisses me, touches me, he doesn't want to have sex, he tells me I'm over emotional etc..) The few months of our relationship were pretty passionate in the sense that we use to make out every time, we fondled, touched etc.. We have never actually had intercourse though which is kind of pathetic. We have been fighting more and more about this recently because he is so distant..I don't think I have ever seen him cry, get really angry or have much of any emotions at all. I am strongly considering leaving him if this continues..I care about him a lot but I need more from a man than great conversation and going out every once in a while. I think he might be schizo because his brother has Schizophrenia and he grew up in a very violent family environment. His father was very abusive and he has a very toxic/dependent relationship with his family. I am a psychology student so I have tried to point this out to him and I am trying to make this relationship work but I am so frustrated that I just might throw the towel in and move on. The thing that puzzles me is that although he fits many of the Schizo criteria he doesn't like being alone. He lives in a very small town in CT and hates it because he says that its too isolated. |
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Legendary
Member Since May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
Posts: 11,937
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#2
Sweety, relationships of any kind are give and take. And if your needs aren't being met, concider yourself robbed, by yourself. You wouldn't go to a shop,purchase an item and be content with clearly being overcharged, why would you want to do that to yourself in the emotional sense? If there is 1 thing I've learned, it's that love is truelly amazing, but on it's own, never enough. What I mean by that is, just b.c you love someone, doesn't mean everything's ok now. There's SO much more to relationships than just love... Please know that you are worthy of affection, and it's up to YOU wether you recieve it or not. XOXO
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