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Member Since Mar 2013
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#1
Ever since I was little I often didn't socialize with other children,my age or other people at all really.
My teachers always encouraged me to talk and play with other children, but I either played by myself or hung around the teachers. It really wasn't an interest of mine to play with other kids. In second grade I played with kids a little bit more,but I'd still wander off to be alone. Even when I got to 5th grade I was mostly by myself because I liked not having to talk to anyone. I'd even hide from kids who wanted to talk/play with me. Even as I got older the more closed off from people I wanted to be. (Although I LOVE animals very very much. Virtually any and everything to do with animals; which is probably why I own 1000s of stuffed animals.) Even today at age 18, I still want to be closed off from people; my family is okay for the most part. I'd rather sit in my room, locked into my elaborate fantasy world that I have created than socialize with other people. (In my world I can make anything happen and it's my happy place; I'd rather be in my "world" than reality.) I do have friends; people tend to gravitate toward me for some odd reason. I figured it would be easier to "make friends" and put up with them, so I wouldn't have to have parent-teacher conferences every week to "discuss my progress of getting along with others and what things they recommend I do." People and I mix like tigers and bloody meat. [I like to think of myself as a tiger due to my liking of being solitary] Honestly, I could deal without the daily ignorance and stupidity of people; not that I'm not ignorant, but these days it's getting ridiculous. To make this simple, I just don't see a point in forging relationships with people; they're just going to die. Why put myself through pointless pain? Back to relationships, I don't EVER want children, so I don't see a point in pursuing a relationship. In fact relationships feel like obligations to me,always sacrificing something for another person and sometimes you get nothing in return or you just get hurt and it ended up being a waste of your time or again the die (I've been in 2 relationships, that lasted a few months but nothing serious. Besides, I've seen the heartache and drama first hand from my friends.) People want to share feelings and get closer to each other in relationships, which to me is only a weapon that they can use against you later; if they get mad at you. (Having someone know your every thought and feeling is a major invasion of privacy and simply creepy in my opinion.) [Why should it matter whether or not I want a partner? We all have our personal preferences and mine is being alone.] Bringing this up, I obviously don't want to get married, because it means sharing feelings and depending on another person;I'd much rather rely on myself and not others. (although I don't have a choice in some cases) I know that in life you do have to make sacrifices, but quite frankly I'm ready to worry about me and only me.(for the most part.) Besides all that mess I tend to get my best ideas for stories when I'm alone. People are so distracting and I can't focus on my thoughts. (The more I socialize with people the more withdrawn I want to be.) In summary I have no desire to have friends,or any other type of relationship with people;I just want to be alone. Drawing,painting,listening to music, playing with animals,going to the beach,going for walks,story writing, writing lyrics, are all things that I like to do. No relationships VERY limited social interaction like Internet chatting or something every once in a blue moon and the inevitable social interactions. Anything I can do alone, I'm all for it. Being in my fantasy world instead of the real world I'm down for it. (I do this practically all day even at school and when I get home with the help of music) Focused on peace and quiet, believe me if I could live in the woods I would. People have told me that I come across as detached or emotionless,but it's to keep people out as like people in NYC do. Are all things I want/do. Do I sound schizoid? [I know I have paranoid personality disorder.(self-diagnosed)] I don't plan on getting help if I am schizoid because there's no need to. I have absolutely no problem with it ; other people are just weird,except other schizoids of course. Ps. Sorry if this is a bit out of order or confusing;I often have a hard time expressing what I mean. |
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#2
Hi Trappedinside324, welcome to Psych Central!
Schizoid or not, it sounds as if you prefer to relate (or not relate) to people the way you describe and wouldn't want it any other way. Where does the "trapped" part come in, then? Is that your own word for your situation, or someone else's? |
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New Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Posts: 5
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#3
Quote:
I simply chose my name because I feel that being human is a trap.(hard to explain) I don't simply see how I can or can't relate to people. Like I stated I like to be alone I don't see a point in knowing people and not knowing them. It seems like a waste of time to me. Which is why I was posing the question of do I sound schizoid? |
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Junior Member
Member Since Jan 2011
Location: RI usa
Posts: 13
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#4
Schizoid meaning less or non emotional I would have to say I hear a lot of emotion coming from your post.
Have you looked into introvert personality? You seem to fit in there well. |
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