Can someone with Schizoid PD fall in love?

SoScorpio · Oct 23, 2015 at 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiger8

Though I'm trying... and yeah, all I really want is just that, some friends to enjoy some time with, doing stuff together etc. Tho', I used to have more spontaneous and enjoyable friendships before I turned 18.

I have the same problem. Still waiting for my thread to be approved, but I'm confused by the fact that mental health quizzes have indicated that I'm schizoid, when I do in fact crave connections with people.
But what you describe here is exactly how it is for me, when I was a kid I had a few close friends and never wanted more than that. Ever since becoming an adult, I've felt like it's impossible to have that kind of friendship again. I don't know how to start being friends with someone, because in grade school it just kind of happened. You start playing with someone, you do it again the next day, next thing you know, you're best friends. It just doesn't work that way when you're an adult, it seems. I've had "friends" at work, but very rarely make the effort to see them outside of work.
One of the problems is that everyone else seems to already have their group of friends, and I feel like they don't need another one, or I'd be intruding or taking time away from their other friends if we tried to be friends outside of work.

kecanoe · Nov 01, 2015 at 10:06 PM

I am diagnosed SPD and I have been married for 28 years. And yes, I love my husband. I have worked hard to try to see his needs and wants and to respond to them, which I think comes naturally for people w/o SPD. I guess that is how I show my love

Kenraven · Jan 07, 2016 at 04:37 AM

It is possible. I am either in love or infatuated with someone right now, but I'm yet to feel the "butterflies in the stomach" that people talk about. Perhaps it's the anhedonia.

Renaissance · Jan 15, 2016 at 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cygnus8548

Re: can schizoid fall in love
Definitely. The schizoid mainly wants to be alone, I hypothesize, but could get infatuated, as you say. The problem is that later on, he/she may get nervous being around the object of affection too much and will want to be alone. Meanwhile the loved one will want to claim too much time, so the relationship will spiral downward into instability.

What you just said describes my situation exactly. How can the fallout, post downward spiral, be fixed if the schizoid won't talk. it has bee 15 days. The longest time yet. I reach out too much which I am learning is the wrong thing. I want to learn to give him his space. I want the chance to but can not approach him.

tiger8 · Jan 15, 2016 at 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenraven

It is possible. I am either in love or infatuated with someone right now, but I'm yet to feel the "butterflies in the stomach" that people talk about. Perhaps it's the anhedonia.

Then what do you actually feel?

Renaissance · Jan 16, 2016 at 01:53 AM

Tiger 8... Are you asking me what I feel? Forgive me if this question has not been addressed to me.

Renaissance · Jan 16, 2016 at 02:00 AM

I feel that we have the greatest potential for a successful relationship that would in deed suit us both... With minimal stretch on either persons part. I feel like I am loving a porcupine. Yet I feel he likes me very very much...

tiger8 · Jan 17, 2016 at 06:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Renaissance

Tiger 8... Are you asking me what I feel? Forgive me if this question has not been addressed to me.

No, it was addressed to the person I was quoting. No worries.

Tabby23 · Dec 28, 2016 at 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3xjj

Do you think its possible for someone with Schizoid PD to fall in love or be infatuated for a short time, like around 9 months? Why or why not?

Yes, I believe it's possible with the right person. Someone who understands your limits to being social.
We are not uncaring people. And within our comfort zones are capable of letting people know we care and that they are loved, etc. We just don't stay in that zone 24/7.

jrae · Mar 28, 2017 at 01:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tabby23

Yes, I believe it's possible with the right person. Someone who understands your limits to being social.
We are not uncaring people. And within our comfort zones are capable of letting people know we care and that they are loved, etc. We just don't stay in that zone 24/7.

I guess I really understand that part. And one of the hardest things to deal with is people who don't understand that that's who I am, I have my limits. I can be around others, to socialize (if that's the word to use), and spend time with & interact with people. but at the same time, I need my alone time! I can spend the weekend with my family (8 plus my two young teenage nephews and my 2 yo niece) [most times is not with all of them at once], but then I need my 'recuperating' time. [which is why I have no problem at all leaving them to drive back home after dark instead of spending the night and leaving the next day.] I need my time to myself to unwind, relax, calm down, sleep - basically to just be me.

I agree it is a balancing act. if you find someone who can understand that and be flexible with that and even if they don't understand the specifics but be okay with the broad concept, then romantic relationships could work. I don't have much knowledge on the 'love or romantics' side of it, mostly due to not experiencing that. but I suppose the possibility is out there

side note-> I lived with my parents for a few years (when I was in my mid-twenties) and there were things I was doing that only people with schizoid traits could understand. my dads a farmer and my mother is retired and so after spending like 6 or 8 hours a day around them, I would stay up half the night just to get in my 'me' time. they hated it, made fun of me for the hours I kept, and just made things harder on me. but they didn't / couldn't understand that it was just who I was. that after being around people for a long enough time period, that I need alone time - to balance things out...

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Can someone with Schizoid PD fall in love?

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kecanoe Grand Magnate Member Since Aug 2008 Location: Illinois, USA Posts: 3,052 16 7,192 hugs given	Nov 01, 2015 at 10:06 PM #22 I am diagnosed SPD and I have been married for 28 years. And yes, I love my husband. I have worked hard to try to see his needs and wants and to respond to them, which I think comes naturally for people w/o SPD. I guess that is how I show my love
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Kenraven New Member Member Since Jan 2016 Location: Kenya Posts: 1 8	Jan 07, 2016 at 04:37 AM #23 It is possible. I am either in love or infatuated with someone right now, but I'm yet to feel the "butterflies in the stomach" that people talk about. Perhaps it's the anhedonia.
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Renaissance Junior Member Member Since Jan 2016 Location: North Carolina Posts: 16 8	Jan 16, 2016 at 01:53 AM #26 Tiger 8... Are you asking me what I feel? Forgive me if this question has not been addressed to me.
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Renaissance Junior Member Member Since Jan 2016 Location: North Carolina Posts: 16 8	Jan 16, 2016 at 02:00 AM #27 I feel that we have the greatest potential for a successful relationship that would in deed suit us both... With minimal stretch on either persons part. I feel like I am loving a porcupine. Yet I feel he likes me very very much...
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