Help with apparently schizoid friend!

Hello. I’m new to this forum because I’m mostly here for advice regarding a friend.

I think he might have SPD (Schizoid Personality Disorder), because, well, first of all I say he is my friend but that’s only according to my point of view, since he doesn’t think of me as a friend. He says that I’m “not a troublesome person, at least” (his words) and I seem to be the only person outside his direct family to be in contact with him after he quitted school.

He is super detached, but according to what I’ve read about this, schizoid people don’t get angry or find it super difficult to express anger, while he’s quite the opposite of that. He is almost always spacing out and the only emotion/reaction I’ve seen out of him is anger, he also holds grudges and he told me once that he enjoyed seeing X person suffer thanks to him (in a passive-aggressive way), which sounds like psychological sadism?, but sadism is against people in general (as far as I know), and he seems to enjoy only that person’s suffering (looks like that person did something to him and now feels guilty, so he enjoys the guilt the other person feels?).

He’s 21 years old. We met because we were classmates two years ago. He told me that he didn’t attend school when a teenager for two non-consecutive years. About the first year, when he was 14, he told me he quitted but didn’t want to tell me why and didn’t look comfortable with the question, and the other year, when he was 16, was because he burnt some books (trying to literally burn the school) and kicked a girl down the stairs, so he got expelled.

Do you guys think he is schizoid? Maybe sociopath (even though he doesn’t care about faucets) or just a bad combination of personality traits? And what can I do to help him and be closer to him? PLEASE note that I’m not seeking a “diagnosis”, I know it can only be done by a professional, but I’d like to know what he MIGHT be or what disorder does his behavior represent because I’d really like to help him and I’m super worried because I’m sure that if I don’t gain his trust (or make him trust at least one person) he won’t get better and he doesn’t want to seek any treatment.

Apparently, he used to be very hateful, kind of antisocial, and more aggressive in his teenage years. He isn’t hateful anymore and is generally super composed and non-emotional at all, but when certain kind of thing happens, he gets mad and often expresses that anger in aggressive ways, which are normally just a hit in the head but it has gotten to dangerous extremes like strangulating the person who made him angry, and this actually happened thrice (major reason why I’m asking for help). The first and second times when he tried to strangulate someone, he let go of the person by himself rather quickly, therefore I didn’t mind *that* much, but the last time, I was there. We were in a group of four: him, a girl, a friend and me, but apparently, something that the girl said upset him terribly because he started punching and kicking her before reaching for her neck. My friend interfered taking him away from her. He immediately calmed down and isolated himself in a room . After some time he came out and… helped us taking care of the girl’s wounds.

This happened at the beginning of this year, in January.

I don’t think he might do anything like that again, especially because he’s not proud of it, but still has the inexpressive, un-emotional, detached, serious and cold yet temperamental attitude which I can’t even begin to comprehend.

I made him take several personality test and got: MBTI-> INTJ, Enneagram-> type 1, Temperaments blend-> PhlegChol

PLEASE help me know if he has any personality disorder and what can I do to help him! I’m the closest person to him right now and he won’t even care about being “friends” or whatever with anyone! I have to know how to get closer to him!!

Thank you in advance and SO SORRY for the long post!! Every constructive opinion or advice is highly appreciated! English is not my main language so, very sorry if i can't make myself clear. Thank you again!

I don't think explosive anger is typical for SPD. The emotionlessness would be, but it sounds as though maybe your friend isn't truly emotionless, but instead shuts himself down until he explodes. The holding grudges thing also doesn't sound like SPD. I don't hold grudges because doing that takes emotional energy, and I just don't care. I avoid people that are mean but I do not ever attack.

It's a tough call, obviously. And if he is unlikely to seek help, you probably won't know what a diagnosis might be. I don't know much about sociopaths, but I also think they may not be inclined to explosive anger. From what I know, they don't act out because they are angry at the person or animal. They act out because they can. They don't tend to hurt people because that particular person has made them angry.