Ending my fantasy life

Oh dear, it seems that after about five years i have grown bored with my fantasy life. Its something that has been very personal to me so I wont be discussing the details, not even my doc knows about the specifics. I am moving to a new city next year and the timing works.

I just have to stop... like ripping off a band-aid...

Lets see how long i can last before falling into another falsehood. Does anybody else like to change things up every now and then? I havent met anybody else like me before.

Not sure if I can go cold turkey. Have been thinking about transitioning to a new reality but even that makes me anxious. My question above still stands.

Timaa.

I can somehow relate.
I've noticed some time ago that all my interests follow a cycle:
– First I gain a genuine interest and while it's not that important to me get gradually better at it
– The interest turns into an obsession, I begin to compare myself to others and get progressively more anxious about it, until I only pursue it because of fear of being inferior to others
– After a long period of depression, the only way out is to do something completely different, completely turn my life around, leave everyone and everything behind and start anew. Often this is connected with a feeling of glee.

Right now, I'm at the last stage once again. I'm tired of my old life and wish myself far away every day.

It's hard to say without knowing what the fantasy is. Of course, don't say anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

So you might, perhaps, be spending too long in a game.... or on the internet, or you might be infatuated with a person....

I don't know what you are really describing, so I can only comment on my own experience with my fantasy life.

Mine seems to be floating away from me. It is more obvious everyday that it is fleeting. I thought that it would be real enough for it to be comforting to me, and for it to fill the holes in my actual life. In my fantasy world I can control how people perceive me, so I come across the way I think I ought to come across; be the real me.

But it is all becoming grey, being diluted with time. The romanticism and the emotional intensity is disappearing. I guess part of it is me getting older and actual life occupying more of my time. I should become more desperate to maintain the same level of fantasy life. But instead, I now have to deal with my mundane life and accept that I am going to become this old person without these cool traits I think I should have to be the true me. And things I need to accept myself as an actual mundane person becoming old; I don't have those and I don't see any strong progression there.

I had a very rich and intricate fantasy life for many years (since I was a kid). There were two kinds, the fictional fantasies, and real life introjects (having conversations with real people in my life - but as the real me, not my facades).

I felt more emotional in my fantasies than in real life. I became attached to them and the characters. It felt safe to be me and express myself there than with anyone in real life.

It became such a habit that a few years ago I had to make a real concerted effort to stop, and it was really hard at first.

I spent many hours per day in fantasy. I don't know why I stopped, except that 3 years ago I started getting back in the real world again, working and stuff.

But I also have felt a lot more stressed, and frustrated, since I stopped. I kind of miss it, and still go there some times.

It's something that was very private and I kept to myself. I guess I started feeling like atleast some of it was childish and that's why I stopped. I was in my late 30's when I finally gave it up.

I never felt like it was abnormal, it was just a very private thing, but it did start to feel childish to me.

I've done something very similar since childhood and still do it sometimes. It can be very tempting to escape into my fantasy world. But after a bit it gives me brain fog.

I think it's worth noting though that this isn't exclusively a schizoid thing. Avoidants and depressives can also engage in fantasy.

It's just a form of escapism, especially when reality seems far less appealing than fantasy.

im glad to hear there are others out there who understand. i havent been very successful so far in separating myself from my fantasy life. i tried to bring it all to a head but it just keeps on going... tonight is the night i leave everything behind for a new city, its the best time to pull the plug but im having doubts as to whether i can actually do this anymore.

Good luck!

Change is hard. Well done for trying.

I'm in my third marriage and I have a long history of one-sided "fantasy" relationships with real people. I must abandon the fantasy that the "right" woman could satisfy my perceived but irrational needs. I'm too old to keep living in a fantasy world and it's too hard suffering the disappointment that comes with the unrealistic desire for uncomplicated love and affection. Good Luck!

I crave stability and dislike change but at the same time want to run away from it all sometimes and re-invent. I suppose we all have to pick. I don't think there are any rules...whatever works for you. Fantasy can be a good thing...as long as you can separate fact from fiction. Good Luck!