I Cut Someone Off. Again.

There is this coworker that has been really kind while we've worked together.

She communicated things clearly, was introverted like me, and was just decent to be around. We talked quite a bit during our shifts, something I don't usually find enjoyment in with people. I think we actually connected a bit as we shared some interests. We started getting a bit close, maybe even to the early stages of friendship. But the other day, she said something that was, in my opinion, unkind and insensitive, and I was hit with intense disappointment, hurt, and distrust. So I've just stopped talking to her and I avoid her at work now.

In therapy, I learned that I tend to see people as either "safe or unsafe". When people do something that flips them to "unsafe", I want to cut all contact with them immediately to protect myself. I can go from being comfortable with a person to wanting nothing to do with them in a millisecond. My entire view of them can change on a dime.

Thanks to therapy, I'm at the point where I recognize that my decision to cut her off was an impulsive response to feeling disappointed, hurt, "unsafe", and probably wasn't the best course of action after all the nice times we've had at work. There were other ways to handle how she made me feel other than completely withdrawing without a word, I guess.

But I can't help but feel relieved since I've stopped talking to her. I can't help but feel like she has no opportunity to make me feel like that again if I stay away from her.

Just wanted to share, thanks for reading.

Thanks for sharing.

Good insights from therapy!