[jenjenw82]

I posted but it's not showing up.

[Chancellor]

Now that the disorder no longer exists (as it has been removed from the DSM), does that mean we're all cured?

[loki817]

I'm new here was just diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder and antisocial personality traits which if you ask me seems a little redundant but anyway hello

[Kieren]

Hi I got recomended this site but never cared much till now becuase I use to have 1 hour brake time but now it's 2 hours and I can't change my schedule and I can't sit in the college cafe for 1 hour with everyone it to much I think and not good I guess sometime I would just go stand outside raining or not but for some reason some follow even tho I don't even talk to them other than hi and by and maybe I'll go along with what ever they want to say to me but I can't stay in the cafe for 1 hour with them all do you know how I could change my schedule or something?

Thanks riverx for providing the link to that site. Not much is discussed about schiziod personality order and I like to learn what I can.

[nexto]

Thanks for letting me be a part of your discussions, i am also SPD, and finding it harder than i thought it would be to open up and share

[nexto]

Today was a good day, went for a drive, went for sushi, with minimal interruptions, and saw a movie, other movie watchers can be so annoying, just saying. I live alone in the country, and aside from my regular jobs, I don't have much contact with others. I am estranged.

[nexto]

Thinking of all the things I wish my ex wife would have communicated without communicating (if that makes sense) to me, here are some things to consider. Space/time for me to come to grips that she was being supportive without her saying so in those terms. If there is an interest in an activity that You would like the 2 of you to take part in(anything) bring it up in normal conversation, with an underlying thought that you would be together, and wouldn't be splitting up to join with other persons. This would have made me more comfortable in social interactions when we were out. There is nothing like feeling alone in a crowd. I feel like that all the time it seems like, and I would like to be able to count on support that there is someone who is there with my best interests in mind. It's thoughtful on your part.
Another thing would be just spending time quietly, not forcing conversation or questioning why they are being quiet or are they alright all the time, this drives us further into ourselves.
For me, also, when my ex would initiate sex or sexual intimacy, it would make me withdraw. We like sex on our terms, we aren't selfish, don't take it like that, we just need to feel that there is not an ulterior motive, and the best way to do that is not to force the idea or ask a bunch of questions that make them have to open up about there private inner feelings. Think about how things went when you were dating.
Remember, you have each other for a reason.
I hope this was a help, nexto

Originally Posted by SeptemberMorn

I have a question. How can you best help a spouse with this disorder?

[nexto]

Originally Posted by loki817

I'm new here was just diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder and antisocial personality traits which if you ask me seems a little redundant but anyway hello

How have things been going for you since your diagnosis? This Forum has helped me open up and see that I'm not alone.

[CaringMom23]

Thank you for this helpful information. I want to understand and support a family member whom I believe to have this personality type, and has struggled in college.

[CaringMom23]

This seems to be the explanation of someone I care about very much. I want to talk to him about it, but I doubt that would be welcome or helpful. He seems content as he is, and that's perfect, there is nothing wrong with having this type of personality. He doesn't seem to be searching for answers, doesn't seem to be bothered by his nature. So why should I disturb him with a label?

For now, I will merely look into this and not project anything onto him.

What is already very helpful about this discovery is that I now have a clue how to interact (and how not to). I now understand his emotional distance and do not take it personally. I can stop digging to know him and accept that he has little to say, prefers intellectual friendship, isn't going to express a wide range of emotions, is probably always going to seem a little aloof, and it's ok. It's simply his personality.

Thank you all for shedding light on people who have this type of personality and how to communicate and share life with someone who has SPD.

[Cariatide]

It seems my now ex bf is a schizoid. We keep in touch since the break up but I don't really know how to talk to him and what I should and shouldn't say. Any help?

[SPD123]

Hi everyone,

Like many posts that I've read, I haven't been officially diagnosed with SPD yet but I think I have it since a lot of my behavior fits the criteria perfectly. My wife actually brought it up to me over a year ago after noticing the patterns for a long time and since then I have been educating myself on the condition. I started self treatment with an audio book and 1-2 months of online therapy but had to cut it short because I relocated. Both were very helpful though particularly since finding a therapist who has experience diagnosing and treating it has been difficult. Fortunately, I found a PsyD who has experience with SPD that I finally got an appointment with after talking to him back and forth about availability for about a year so I'm happy about that.

Some background information: I initially suffered from anxiety/depression/OCD from my late teens onward (I'm almost 47 now) that went undiagnosed and untreated up until about 3 years ago when, again, my wife had a sobering conversation with me about how it was adversely affecting our relationship and our young daughter so I sought treatment immediately from a Psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with chronic, low-grade depression and treated me with Lexapro initially followed by the addition of Wellbutrin for added effect which has helped significantly but is not perfect. It gives me night sweats, makes me very sleepy and crushes my already-low libido with the latter being the most problematic issue right now.

After being on the Wellbutrin for over two years I gradually discontinued it on my own about a month ago in an attempt to ease up the somulence and low libido side affects and I'm still doing well on the Lexapro alone.

After high school, I never had any long-terms friends that I stay in touch with at all. I've met a lot of nice people, short-term friends and acquaintances over the last 20-25 years but nothing "sticks" long term. I only had one HS friend at my wedding in 2011 and by then we had not seen each other in quite a few years but I still invited him to my wedding. I haven't seen him since. In all fairness, I did make an effort on several occasions to reach out to people I had been friends/friendly with at various stages of my life but it was never reciprocated so I got turned off quickly to the point where I haven't reached out to anyone in many years and have no desire to or desire to make new friends.

I love my solitary activities and alone time so my wife and I came to a "socialization" agreement where we socialize with couple friends on a fairly regular basis which took some time but I do genuinely enjoy it in limited doses. I was also not an engaged father to my 7 1/2 daughter which I have taken drastic steps to improve on and things are much better now.

My biggest concern right now is my marriage - specifically my sex life which my wife has brought up to me several times over the last few years. She does not like the fact that I do not initiate intimacy at all, ever! Let's not say ever, but extremely infrequently to the point where many months will go by with no sex. Now, between me being 47 in a few days, on the libido-killer Lexapro/Wellbutrin and likely having SPD - we can see what my wife and I are up against. To be fair, she is no sexual dynamo either. She doesn't want it that often but she also NEVER initiates because she thinks the man is always suppose to do that which I disagree with. I'm initiating more than half of the time but, after being together 10 years, it would be a real turn on if she initiated and took what she wanted. I can get aroused, have an orgasm, am attracted to her and desire to have sex when turned on so I don't think I'm a hopeless SPD case as she has sometimes eluded to.

FYI, she's 45 y/o and suffers from PMDD (think PMS on steroids!) for which she takes Zoloft which kills her own libido so it's not all me. We haven't had any intimacy in over 6 months but the last two times we did I initiated. When we go this long without sex she feels distant increasingly uninterested in having sex although it doesn't take much to get her back on track.

I love my wife and daughter and I'm committed to doing whatever possible to improve this part of my life. I have good intentions, am optimistic about my chances at a successful marriage and don't think I'm a severe case but at times I'm also disheartened to know there is no cure for SPD and that this is going to be a life long struggle to live WITH it and not get over it and be cured.

My first appt to discuss all of this with my PsyD therapist is next week!