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#1
Sep 13, 2009, 09:32 PM
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I have both schizophrenia and DID and I wasn't sure where to post this, which forum so I'm posting it here...
I was hoping someone could help me figure out the differences... I hear and see and feel things all of the time and I'm not sure if it's the people inside or the schizo. When I have physical (the emotional I know are from DID) feelings (like I feel people get in bed next to me) I'm not sure what that is. And when I hear noises I'm not sure if they are my insiders or the schizo since I don't know many of my insiders. Than I hear noises ALL the time, not just foot steps but whisteling, tapping, all kinds of things and I'm not sure what that is from either... I'm kind of confused and seeing that schizo and DID aren't the best combination... I don't know which voices to trust (although I THINK that the difference is the insiders are much more loud and clear than the schizo voices but I can't say for sure) what noises are real or anything, it's rather annoying! Anyone have any ideas or advice? I do have a t but I've only seen her once and not sure if I can trust her or her word yet... Any advice or anything at all would be GREATLY appreciated!!!  Kris |
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#2
Sep 13, 2009, 09:37 PM
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{{{{{{{{{Kris}}}}}}}}
I don't know what to say, but I hope this helps.... (Webber)Erik
__________________
"We don't have a problem with us, the world does." ~(Webber)Erik @~~~%~~~ |
 kris9999
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#3
Sep 13, 2009, 09:50 PM
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I don't know what to say. Schizophrenia and DID are way out of my experience -- you have to tell people like me what it's like. The only thing I can say is talk to your therapist because you will never know if you can trust her until you talk to her some more. Many hugs -- but only if you like hugs.
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| kris9999
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#4
Sep 14, 2009, 01:14 AM
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Quote:
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#5
Sep 14, 2009, 08:27 AM
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Thank you for your comments! Seabirdanne, what kind of details would you need? I'm not sure exactly wha you mean by telling people what it's like... I'll try to explain though...
For one, while going over my hospital discharge papers I saw in there that my reason (in 2003) for hurting myself was because voices told me to. I'm not sure if these voices are the others or the schizo. Second, I also feel things physically which is strange. I'll be laying in bed and feel someone crawl into bed with me but no one is there. I've also felt people touching me and one time felt like there was wind being blown in my face with a lot of force. It was as if I was riding in a car going 60mph and my head was out the window. Third, as far as the voices and the noises go... I hear all kinds of things. I always thought this was normal until my husband said it wasn't. Some examples... A little over a month ago I was on the couch and out of no where I heard a man scream my name. I was alone and the only person in the apartment was my 17 month old daughter. The man sounded extremely angry and it nearly gave me a headache it was so loud. It sounded as if someone was sanding right next to me and shouted directly in my ear, but I at the same time could tell the voice was coming from the inside. I also heard a man say something to a woman (I forget what he said) but I'm pretty sure that part was the DID. I hear all kinds of things though from whisteling, to people trying to break into my apartment when no one really is. The noises aren't as clear as the voices have been though. I've also heard a piano, a baby cry, footsteps behind me, all kinds of things, but some of these aren't so clear. I still hear them and most of the time I can tell they are coming from inside but sometimes I can't. As far as the seeing things go... Like all night last night when I woke up at 3am and was sitting in my chair eating (late night eater) I kept seeing someone in the hallway right in front of me, staring at me. When I would look directly at the person they would vanish. I've seen a person while sitting on the computer, RIGHT in front of me looking at me, I got a better look at her... Another time, I've been trying to have my others write or draw something to me for a while now and I've been going to bed with pen, paper and crayons next to my bed. A couple nights ago when I woke up in the middle of the night I checked the paper and saw there was a lot of writing on it. I grabbed the paper and walked into the living room. I turned the light on and the page was blank. That happened again a few hours later when I woke up again. Given my history of hurting myself, and the "voices" that told me to it kind of worries me. I'm pretty sure those voices are the schizo but until I can find out how to tell the difference I just don't know what voices to trust... (((((((((((((((((Seabirdanne))))))))))))))))) Of course hugs are ok! I LOVE hugs  (((((((((((Erik))))))))))) |
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#6
Sep 14, 2009, 09:10 AM
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Okay. This is what I'm thinking just from general knowledge. From what I understand, your "others" developed at some point to protect you. Am I correct, or is that a popular misconception? If it's true that your others developed to protect you, I doubt that they would tell you anything that would really harm you. But, like I said, maybe I'm being hopelessly naive. If I'm wrong, please set me straight.
On the other hand, I was hospitalized for a long time many years ago, and no one there had DID, but there were schizophrenics, and their voices would tell them to do senseless things. You really must talk to your therapist about it. You mention a lot of stuff lying in bed or when you just get up. Is it possible that you could be half asleep sometimes? Obviously, you have a lot going on, but could some of the stuff that happens in bed just be dreaming? You don't have to answer about the dreaming and stuff; it's just something to think about when you talk to your therapist. Kris, I hope you find the answers you need and that your therapist turns out to be a really good one. (((((((((((((((((((((Kris!))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) |
| kris9999
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#7
Sep 14, 2009, 09:36 AM
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Hi seabird... You are right, my others came to protect me on the day I needed it the most. I wont get into detail because I know it would trigger people but they did come to protect me, and still do when extremely horrible things happen. That's why I'm not sure that it's them, it doesn't seem as if the ones protecting me would tell me to harm myself...
And I do understand what you are saying about the dreaming, and my husband has asked me this repeatedly. I am fully aware that I am awake when I am feeling these things though. When I'm not sure if I was awake I rule it out completely as a dream. But these things, if I was laying down trying to go to sleep, I sit up and ask myself if I'm awake and make sure that I am because it all seems to bizzare to be real. But it is real and unfortunately I am awake. I have considered it though. I wonder a lot of the time why it mostly happens when I am trying to fall asleep and it's strange. The only thing I can think of is that is when I'm less guarded. Most days I try wish these were dreams, I've talked to my old t about it and even tried to convince him that they were dreams but he didn't buy it. I try to use dreams as my excuse for everything but in reality unfortunately it isn't. Thanks for your reply! I hope you are well!!! (((((((((((((((((seabirdanne))))))))))))))))) |
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#8
Sep 14, 2009, 12:21 PM
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If you posted this on both forums (DID and schizo, I'll bet they could help you).
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#9
Sep 14, 2009, 12:24 PM
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Thank you Sannah, I think I will, I'm just hoping I don't get into trouble for posting it so many times!
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| Sannah
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#10
Sep 14, 2009, 08:22 PM
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 I do know often people with DID are misdiagnosed with Schizophrenia. Personally I have both of these things or I did until I integrated all my selves. For me the people in my head would have clear conversations where as the Schizophrenia voices would be much more random and far nastier than any protector self I had. You can reason with selves but not Schizophrenia. For example I had a particularly violent self I could tell to go away and sometimes she'd listen. The other voices wouldn't. My selves also never responded to anti psychotic meds. The voices do. Now with myself all in one piece I still have voices but not selves. I hope this helps you and if you ever want to chat you can pm me.Kayti |
| (JD)
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#11
Sep 15, 2009, 06:30 AM
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((((((((((((Kris))))))))))
Kris I'm so sorry. I bet that this is really painful for you. Do you have a pdoc? Maybe that can help. 
__________________
Live in the moment. Right now is the only thing we really have. |
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