[shirunei]

For the past long time i've slowly been moving past scoiety and people in general(none of them appreciate me and no use in associating with any of that). I find it hard to relate to people(especially since there always laughing at me!) i cant understand them ya know? my thoughts are all jumbled together a lot of the time and the only times i can think straight im going at like a million miles a hour. I have this constant asshole in my mind who's been like a sport's commentator except its my life hes commenting on, guy is such an ***. anyways im confused the few people still around beg me too get help or see someone. I don't feel like there anything really wrong with me, i mean sure i have some problems but doesnt everyone? I would go see someone but im afraid of someone putting thoughts into my head that i dont want there(i've been very keen to avoid that sort of mischief!). So I'm using the anonymity of the internet(proxies and whatnot) too ask for other peoples opinions. What do YOU think?

[WLFTW]

That's a tough one.

If I understand you correctly, others think there is something wrong with you but you don't see anything unusually wrong with you. ?

Actually, I tend to think the same thing about me. I consider myself highly eccentric, antisocial, despondent at times, and very introverted. Sometimes I could call myself "mentally different" instead of "mentally ill." I'm also basically a hermit in a rural area and leave the home maybe once a week, if that.

If you can function and have relationships with people, that makes it even harder to see a problem that might or might not be there. For me, off meds I can't function and tend to destroy relationships which is why I take them. But that's just me and your situation is unique in the sense that I haven't walked a mile in your shoes.

[shirunei]

Thank you for the reply. It gave me a few things to think on. Does anyone else have any input? I look forward to hearing it.

[Shoe]

Originally Posted by shirunei

For the past long time i've slowly been moving past scoiety and people in general(none of them appreciate me and no use in associating with any of that). I find it hard to relate to people(especially since there always laughing at me!) i cant understand them ya know? my thoughts are all jumbled together a lot of the time and the only times i can think straight im going at like a million miles a hour. I have this constant asshole in my mind who's been like a sport's commentator except its my life hes commenting on, guy is such an ***. anyways im confused the few people still around beg me too get help or see someone. I don't feel like there anything really wrong with me, i mean sure i have some problems but doesnt everyone? I would go see someone but im afraid of someone putting thoughts into my head that i dont want there(i've been very keen to avoid that sort of mischief!). So I'm using the anonymity of the internet(proxies and whatnot) too ask for other peoples opinions. What do YOU think?

Your story sounds similar to me when I was younger. My thoughts were moving very fast but most of the people that I would try to communicate with would make comments like I am not making any sense.
I think that it is important to stay connected with people if only just a few. I actually didn't start to get better until I accidentally fell into a romantic relationship. I wasn't just so focused on myself after that. I think that reality or our concept of it is influenced by how we relate to thing. Having a relationship helped to bring me back to Earth so to speak.
There were times in the past when I needed to take medication. I remember this one lady doctor reasoning with me that this medicine would help to slow down my thoughts.
Not knowing you, it is hard to give you advice, but I would try and hang on to the few friends that you have left. No man is an island.
Hope this helped some, Shoe