I've lost my paranoia.. I dont know where i put it...One day it was just gone...

And...
I dont know how it could have just gone away like that... I mean, it waxed and waned over the last month, and although i cant remember when it really kicked in I can be rather confident that it was quite some months ago (im sure i was paranoid last year without awareness of it)
now i know that it comes and goes as i remember being paranoid as a kid and as a teen, but not all the time...

Seeing as it is probably a recurring thing... it would be good to know what sent it packing...and warning signs of its return, and some tools

Without it I am able to do so much more.. to approach people, able to smile, to talk jovially, to engage others, to be focussed and organised in my thoughts, speech, affect, and behaviours... and to stand up in front of a crowd and give a speech, the crippling thoughts have left me and my mood is almost stable! (with hormonal and tiredness fluctuations only) my energy is back adn motivation has returned!

So thats why it would be great to know why it left!

Any suggestions?
(I started mindfulness in march, met a solid stable supportive friend on pc a few months ago, Its almost the end of winter...)

LOVE LIGHT JOY AND BEST WISHES

[Shoe]

Your new supportive relationship might have something to do with it. Love and trust go together in my book and a good relationship can be a refuge. About 30 years ago, when I was going through an episode, I met a girl who moved in with me. Within 5 or 6 days the delusions and paranoia left, and I was OK for the next 20 years.
I think that mindfulness can be a great tool in helping us become aware when we start to get caught up in the thought stream or story mind. A couple of good books you might want to check out are The Mindful Way Through Depression and Wild Chickens and Petty Tyrants. I got a lot out of both or those. A good website where I have downloaded a lot of free talks and articles is
http://www.wisebrain.org/
Best to you, Shoe

I agree with shoe , the key factor here is probably your new relationship.
I myself am having what I call a moment of clarity.I believe social interaction at the hospital is what cleared things out for a while.I'm also preparing for it's return and we all know it's just a mater of time.With the exception of just a bit of agoraphobia(it's not real agoraphobia it's just this side of town is full of *** holes) I have to say I'm feeling really normal.In a way that scares me. I wish you well and I hope your clarity stays that way

I would use this wonderful opportunity. Set yourself up (I don't know your life) as to protect yourself in the future. Better to be prepared for yourself. You don't want to think that everything is fine for good and wind up acting on something strange and doing something destructive to who you are in the future. Do you see a therapist? Perhaps now with clarity would be a great time to embrace life ideas that the therapist might have to offer.

I am happy for you all who are in this moment of clarity! Hugs all around!