[watched_by_aliens]

Ever since I was about 5 years old, I believed I was the last living human in the world - everyone around me appears as human, but they are really aliens from another planet. The only reason they keep me around is to study me. Once they fully understood me (ie what it means to be human) they will have no further use for me and will kill me.
Around the time I was 25 years old, I started to crack a few holes in this belief, but there is still some residue of it remaining. This belief caused me to perform very bizarre behaviors when I was younger - the reason being that I had to be very unpredictable so as to prevent the aliens from fully understanding me, and thus, my life would be prolonged.
Does anyone else experience anything like this? I have read about the Truman Syndrome, but my beliefs are different. There were no reality shows to identify with when I grew up in the 60's. Also, it would be kind-of nice to only think that people are watching me, not that they are watching with the eventual intend to kill me.

[Can't Stop Crying]

Welcome to PC. While I can't relate, I can listen. Are you seeing a therapist?

[RunningEagleRuns]

Originally Posted by watched_by_aliens

Ever since I was about 5 years old, I believed I was the last living human in the world - everyone around me appears as human, but they are really aliens from another planet. The only reason they keep me around is to study me. Once they fully understood me (ie what it means to be human) they will have no further use for me and will kill me.
Around the time I was 25 years old, I started to crack a few holes in this belief, but there is still some residue of it remaining. This belief caused me to perform very bizarre behaviors when I was younger - the reason being that I had to be very unpredictable so as to prevent the aliens from fully understanding me, and thus, my life would be prolonged.
Does anyone else experience anything like this? I have read about the Truman Syndrome, but my beliefs are different. There were no reality shows to identify with when I grew up in the 60's. Also, it would be kind-of nice to only think that people are watching me, not that they are watching with the eventual intend to kill me.

Do you have meds to help?

[watched_by_aliens]

Originally Posted by Can't Stop Crying

Welcome to PC. While I can't relate, I can listen. Are you seeing a therapist?

I have seen a number of therapists over the years. Honestly, very little of the therapy was worth anything. I know others have had good experience with therapists, but short of empathy, I am yet to find one that has anything that has provided benefit.

I am seeing a psychiatrist now, but not a therapist. The psychiatrist costs $160 for a 15-20 minute appointment. With so little time, we do not discuss anything in depth. He mainly just wants to keep trying different drugs. I have tried 10 different meds in the past year - most make my symptoms worse, one even caused a psychotic episode. The only thing that has helped somewhat is Lamictal, but the side effects are pretty miserable, so I keep lowering the amount.

[watched_by_aliens]

Originally Posted by RunningEagleRuns

Do you have meds to help?

Lamictal helps a good deal with reduction of suicidal ideation. It also helps reduce both intensity and occurance of rage. I definitely like not having constant battles with raging - and it is interesting to see my coworkers often get angrier about situations than I do.

Things I am currently needing the most relief in is sleeping and anxiety. Depression comes back pretty fast if I do not regularly take Lamictal.

I am very sensitive to meds. Usually I start taking about one tenth of what I am asked to take and gradually titrate upwards. Many meds give me extreme side-effects when I am still taking what is considered to be sub-clinical quantities.

[RunningEagleRuns]

Originally Posted by watched_by_aliens

Lamictal helps a good deal with reduction of suicidal ideation. It also helps reduce both intensity and occurance of rage. I definitely like not having constant battles with raging - and it is interesting to see my coworkers often get angrier about situations than I do.

Things I am currently needing the most relief in is sleeping and anxiety. Depression comes back pretty fast if I do not regularly take Lamictal.

I am very sensitive to meds. Usually I start taking about one tenth of what I am asked to take and gradually titrate upwards. Many meds give me extreme side-effects when I am still taking what is considered to be sub-clinical quantities.

Oh. well, good luck.

[MirageXD]

Hello there,

did anything traumatic happen to you when you were around 5 years old?

Your symptoms sound like depression combined with some delusions.

Lamictal is a mood stabilizer, so I guess your psychiatrist also thinks it's depression.

I suggest to google delusional disorder.

It's a good thing to try a few (or more than a few) meds to see which one is right for you. Your sensitivity to medication is a problem though.

Best of luck,
Mirage

[Warrioress]

When I was 8 years old and I read and watched "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" I came to believe that I was actually Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort has cursed me and all of my friends. I thought he had changed our appearance and modified our memories. I grew out of that within a couple of years.

After a while I recieved a threatening phone call from Italy and started to suspect the people I knew of being involved with the Mafia. Unfortunately, I haven't grown out of this one yet!

I don't think this post has been of any help. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone.

[richlinelwood]

Hi, I have the delusions of being under surveilance by the gov. I have the feeling they are looking and listening to everything I do since I was abducted. I call myself an alien experiencer. But, I do suffer from delusions, visual and auditory hallucinations. So, I'm caught between a rock and hard place. My experiences began around the time I was 5, like you! So, your not alone! Andy

[Lizcraze]

I feel the same way sometimes. I feel like im being watched, like im an experiment. and that one day someones going to pop out of nowhere and tell me that my whole life was a lie, that everyone are actors, trained to watch over me, and try to keep me from figuring out the truth.