[vball8726]

I grew up with my mother having schizophrenia. I was seriously affected by her illness as well as my family. I understand the disorder from the textbook stand point but, if people don't mind answering, why doesn't she have a moment of clarity like everyone else and get help and go on medicine?

My brother doesn't have a relationship with her anymore and I can't handle even speaking to her for more than a few minutes without wishing she would leave. For years I have been the one person keeping her out of jail, fed and warm and I'm the one she hates the most and blames me for everything wrong in her life. I recently have been diagnosed with several mental illnesses and have been living with the fear that one day I will be as sick as her.

These are mostly just disconnected thoughts and questions but, I'm not sure where to begin.

[costello]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, vball. I doubt your mom think of herself as being sick. That's why she doesn't consult a pdoc.

Have you talked to your grandparents? When did you mom's illness start?

[Gr3tta]

if you are the primary care giver, she may be directing her anger at you simply because you are there, you are the most convenient target.
not everyone has what you referred to as moments of clarity. your mother may think everything she experiences is normal.
you can't always get others to care for themselves, but you can choose to take good care of yourself. i hope you will focus on your own care to the best of your ability. i'm sorry it's such a struggle with your mother.

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by vball8726

I understand the disorder from the textbook stand point but, if people don't mind answering, why doesn't she have a moment of clarity like everyone else and get help and go on medicine?

I'm sorry you have had to take so much care of her. I definitely second what other people have said about making sure to take care of yourself first.

That said, your mother may well have moments of clarity -- that doesn't necessarily entail that she would see herself as unwell during those moments. It may also be that she doesn't want to take on the stigma of having a psych label, or that she doesn't want to take drugs. Have you talked to her about her life before you were born? I was thinking, it is possible that she might have seen a pdoc (by choice or by force) in the past and then decided against using them.

[RunningEagleRuns]

she may have no insight into her illness. thats common