Roll Call Take Two

COSTELLO, what did your boss do that he deserved to be told off?

Well it seems like you have 3 pros of taking meds and 4 cons when you're off meds, so logically you should take your meds. Does your gut agree with this though? I like to think that I make my decisions logically, but I usually go with my gut more. If your gut agrees, then you should start taking your meds again. If your gut doesn't agree, is there something holding you back? Maybe side effects etc? I realised that I didn't want to take my meds because I was punishing myself for my Nan's death. My CPN helped me reframe it - I have nothing to feel guilty for, and my Nan would be horrified if she knew what I was doing to myself because of her. That knowledge made me override my gut feeling of wanting to stop to punish myself, and start taking my meds again. Maybe there's something standing in your way too?

Glad your depression is getting better

Stefanian I hope that you start feeling safe soon.

fish Do you know why you want to stop seeing him? It sucks when Ts go away

I went to my exercise referral class today, which was hard work and exhausting, but I survived! Had to take a nap afterwards though, which my parents moaned about - "napping is bad for your sleep patterns", "how are you going to cope back in Uni?!" Ugh! I will be glad to be independent again, even if it's a struggle.

*Willow*

Oh, my God, the list is so long. I think I'm just carrying a load of anger. Then something sets it off.

The most recent is that my employer has shorted me on my personal and sick leave for the last six years. I just noticed it in late June. It makes me angry if I think about it too much, because when my adopted son was still at home I took so much leave time for school, therapists, court, etc. And I was always short of time. There was never enough. Now I know that I had more time coming to me that I wasn't being credited for.

The thing is, why don't people just say, "I'm sorry." You know? The lady who is supposed to be taking care of this problem hasn't done it. She's had six weeks now. For two of those six weeks she was on vacation, which I find particularly galling, because I HAVEN'T HAD A VACATION IN YEARS - NO LEAVE TIME AVAILABLE! And she led me to believe she'd deal with this before she left on vacation on June 29. I see by my calendar that it's now August 10, and ... nothing.

I asked my boss to intervene - and he did, he called her. But, he says to me, "I guess it's not a priority." That made me really mad. It sort of opened up a lot of wounds from other times when I wasn't a priority, I guess. There's a whole history here and some promises made to me that weren't kept.

I told him this morning that no one had expressed any empathy for the problems this has caused me over the years. No one has said I'm sorry. He said - paraphrasing - "I'm sorry, but it's not my fault." I don't know. He has no social skills, so I don't know why I expected any more.

Eh, well it's not so much that I want to stop seeing him, as I want to find somebody else who can help me with different problems. Right now, I need some way to help me control my eating/exercising/smoking/reckless spending, more than I need deep psychoanalysis about why I'm so psycho. I guess it's just come to a point?

I'm glad you had your exercise class! What kind of 'cise was it? Pity about the exhaustion, though! It does get better. I need to find some way to make myself move more. (Wasn't the Olympics supposed to 'inspire a generation' to exercise or whatever?? Haha.)
Why do your parents freak out so? Is it just because they're parents? When will your course start -- late September, I imagine? I'm glad you're looking forward to be on your own again

Bah, how utterly awful. I'm angry on your behalf, not that that likely helps but man . . . especially with your adopted son and everything.

Thank you. Why couldn't someone here have said that?

Human resources said: "I wish we'd known about this sooner." Like it was somehow my fault. I wish they'd known sooner too. I could have used the time.

Academic affairs said: "Oh, yeah, I've got that here on my desk. I'll get to it later - when I'm less busy."

My supervisor said: "It's not a priority."

All I want to hear is "I'm so sorry this happened. I'm going to make it right - today!"

And that's not an unreasonable thing to ask! Are they going to give you boatloads of new vacation time, or do you get backpay?

costello I'm sorry they keep messing you around.

That sounds like a sensible reason to see someone else. Maybe you could see him less often while you see the new person? I found my private T through my local Mind - they had a booklet of local Ts. I also saw a hypnotherapist for a bit, which should help with your eating/exercising/smoking/spending issues. Trouble was that hypnoT was even more expensive than regular Ts; probably because it's supposed to be shorter term.

It was a gym session, so I did 3x10mins of cardio and some weight machines. The cardio was the worst bit: I'm so unfit! I expected the guy to be more encouraging though, but he just told/showed me what to do and then went off to talk to the guys about the Olympics... :s Anyway I'm seeing the physio on Monday for some exercises for my hips and core, which are apparently shockingly weak! LOL Then I'm going to the gym with my brother Wednesday and then seeing this guy next Friday, which I think is a reasonable amount of exercise for someone who hates any form of exercise!!

The plan is to go back to Uni and ask for another referral as I can't do the full 12 weeks here. Then, hopefully, I will have built exercise into my routine and have enough momentum to maintain it. It will be harder without someone to force me to go (I feel obligated to show up for this guy), but maybe I can go with my housemate or something so we can motivate each other?

My parents don't really understand all the crazy so I tend to keep them at arm's length about how I'm feeling. Plus I want to protect them so they won't worry about me as much. As they don't have that to guide them, they tend to use my behaviour as a sign. So sleeping in 'til midday and then taking naps, which I'm currently doing though not napping every day, makes them nervous for when I go to Uni and they can't keep an eye on me and nag me to get up etc.

I think my course starts in mid-September, but I've had no paperwork to tell me, which stresses me out as I like to plan things and know things in advance. I'll be living with a friend I've lived with before for 3 years with no arguments, so I don't have to worry about house stress. Plus I'm taking my doggy with me to encourage me to get out of the house. Mostly I'm looking forward to distancing myself from the family dramas and getting away from my younger siblings, who are currently on school holidays and DRIVING ME MAD!!! Grrr!

*Willow*

I don't know. They'll probably cut me a check. We're only allowed to accumulate so much time, and this will put me waaayyyy over.

This is why I don't understand why it's taking so long. The math is easy.

July 2006-September 2006, they shorted me 3 personal leave hours/month. October 2006-September 2011, they shorted me 3.5 personal leave hours/month. October 2011-July 2012 (yes, even the month after I notified them they shorted me), they shorted me 4 personal leave hours per month.

Sick leave, they shorted me 2 hours per month for all months.

So, (3 x 3) + (5 x 12 x 3.5) + (10 x 4) = 9 + 210 + 40 = 259 hours personal leave. And 2 x (3 + 60 + 10) = 146 hours sick leave.

See, there's the math in 2 minutes. The only questions are, are they going to give it to me in time or cash, and if in cash, how much per hour?

They keep saying it's going to take so much work to figure this all out, but really it's simple. Twenty minute's work. Tops.

Thanks, Willow.

Willow, do you have much experience with hypnosis? Do you think hypnosis CDs might work as well as seeing an actual hypnoT, or is it really worth it to shell out?
I can't be doing much shelling out in the next few weeks/months, as I have to move and don't have a security deposit saved :-X

I did a course in medschool where I was taught a bit of hypnosis, which was really fun and useful. I think it's really helpful when done well. I only had 5 sessions with hypnoT because it was so expensive she thought something should've shifted by then and it hadn't. Personally I have used a self-hypnosis mp3 for relaxation that I had to use for my hypnosis course, which is good for relaxation, but nothing has helped my depression. I've heard it's good for smoking and overeating etc. My problem with hypnosis CDs is that the voice has to be just right or you spend the whole time thinking how annoying their voice is rather than going under. There are some downloadable ones out there with 90 day money back guarantees etc which you could try - nothing to lose!

Personally I think that the CDs are good for relaxation but not as good for other things, although I've heard the stop smoking Paul McKenna ones are supposed to be quite successful. Maybe you could try a few CDs whilst saving up for a hypnoT. They are obscenely expensive though. Mine charged £80/session and it was a few years ago so I'd imagine about £100/session; maybe more as you live in London :s

*Willow*

I am in agony today from my gym session yesterday I always said exercise was bad for you!!

*Willow*

Hey folks, this thread is past 100 pages so I will be closing it now. We do this because of server loading times. If one of you wanted to start a new Roll Call thread, that would be great. Cheers!