[costello]

So, I thought this was kind of funny.

Yesterday my son and I left the house to drive to the off-leash dog park. As we were leaving the lake we live at, I got behind a slow vehicle. She was driving 45 in a 55. It's a winding road, so it's hard to find to a chance to pass, and I was following too close, hoping for a passing zone. I know if someone were following me that close, I'd get annoyed. Finally I got a chance to pass, but I had to speed up to 60 in a 40 to get around her in time.

So I drive on about 5 minutes down the highway, and I've left her far behind me. I turn off on this little back road to go to the dog park when all of a sudden I see her behind me again. There's nothing off this road except a golf course, a spillway where a few people fish, and the dog park. And she drives right past all of them. When I turned off at the dog park, she kept going.

I was kind of nervous about parking the car and leaving it while we walked in the woods. I thought she'd come and pick a fight or damage my car while I was away from it. I turned and told my son what I was worried about. He looked really skeptical and said, in a tone of disbelief, "Just because you passed her?"

I kind of had to laugh inwardly. When your paranoid son is implying that you're being paranoid, you know you're bad off.

Then today I was driving home when I spotted a really funky-looking vehicle waiting to pull out into traffic. He looked like he was going to turned left onto the highway, but after I passed him, he turned right and got in behind me. My first thought was he was following me, so I hurried to get to my house and into the garage before he could see where I was going. I thought if some cop stopped me for speeding how was I going to explain why I thought this dude was following me?

I think I'm losing it!

In all fairness I actually did have a guy follow me home once and confront me, but I don't usually think people are following me. Now two days in a row I think I'm being tailed!

Do you think you might be stressed out about something?

*Willow*

[costello]

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

Do you think you might be stressed out about something?

*Willow*

I don't think so. I think I'm probably less stressed than usual, but I'll think about it. Maybe I'm not consciously aware of some stressor.

Like I said, I did have a guy follow me home a few years ago. He was irritated by my driving. So now I'm more vigilant when it appears that a car is following me. My son told me once that it's easy to understand paranoia. Paranoid people, he said, have had really bad things happen to them, and they're afraid more bad things will happen. I see my "paranoia" as being a small taste of what it feels like for people who suffer more from it.

IDK...I just find that I'm more paranoid when I'm stressed that's all.

Someone following you home sounds scary! No wonder you're on alert for someone doing that again

*Willow*

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by costello

Then today I was driving home when I spotted a really funky-looking vehicle waiting to pull out into traffic. He looked like he was going to turned left onto the highway, but after I passed him, he turned right and got in behind me. My first thought was he was following me, so I hurried to get to my house and into the garage before he could see where I was going. I thought if some cop stopped me for speeding how was I going to explain why I thought this dude was following me?

I think that if you're female, being aware about people potentially following you isn't paranoid, it's prudent. I've been followed home so many times (both on foot and back when I used to drive).

[costello]

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

I think that if you're female, being aware about people potentially following you isn't paranoid, it's prudent. I've been followed home so many times (both on foot and back when I used to drive).

That's why I keep putting paranoia in parantheses. Especially when it's a man following you. The last time this happened, I knew my son was home, but today no one's here. And even my nosy neighbor has moved away, so no one would be around if he pulled up in my driveway behind me.

Before that guy followed me home, it wouldn't have occurred to me that someone would do that. Especially around here, it's really stupid. The person you're following might have a gun.

[KUREHA]

You should be careful - that's what they do.

[optimize990h]

Listen, I think to keep track of vehicles behind. Sometimes, I find they are trying home along the same route. Others are taking a new route. And the odd follows to same shopping mall I was driving too. Less than 5% are somewhat suspicious. One photo and their *** is on their way. But I more aware of the traffic around me, so I drive more safely.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by KUREHA

You should be careful - that's what they do.

kureha is right.

take it from me. thats how they do it.

it only escalates from there.

[costello]

Originally Posted by newtus

kureha is right.

take it from me. thats how they do it.

it only escalates from there.

Thanks for the heads up. I'm not too worried. I think I was right to be suspicious of the lady on Friday, because she was driving on a road that is only used to access three things, and she wasn't going to any of those. However, she obviously had no interest in me, because she drove on. No doubt she was just out for a drive in the country and decided to see where that road lead. That's probably why she was at the lake and why she was driving so slowly.

And the guy on Saturday ... no reason at all I should have thought he was following me. None.

The weather here has been awful for months. Hot and dry. I've lived at a fishing lake for almost 16 years, and this is the summer with the fewest people out there that I've ever seen. It's nearly deserted. The last couple of days have been so much more pleasant. There are lots of people at the lake now. Everyone wants to get out and enjoy the cooler weather.

No mystery. It's not about me at all. Willow's probably right. I'm probably feeling more stressed. We all tend to get more jumpy and nervous when our stress level is up.

I know how you feel, costello... When the paranoia in question isn't a bizarre notion, it's often our body's defense mechanism against a perceived threat.

Before anything noticeable even happened within my screwed-up ickle mind, I used to walk around with a pocket knife. [It was legal! Thank god/allah/buddha for concealed weapons laws.] Not only was I in a somewhat shady area, but I'd also made some enemies with an abusive ex & some of his friends who regularly drove along my regular walking path. So it's reasonable to be frightened sometimes!

I don't know if this is the same with anyone else, but you know when I notice the bad effects of stress? After it's already passed.

When you're stressed, you still have the adrenaline & cortisol running through your body, protecting you. But once you are relieved & the hormones run dry, I think you're somehow more prone to feeling the afterburn? I hope I explained that well.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by Shayatanica

I don't know if this is the same with anyone else, but you know when I notice the bad effects of stress? After it's already passed.

this happens to me.
stress exacerbates my psychosis
so thats why i never know when im having an episode til after it passes.

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by Shayatanica

I don't know if this is the same with anyone else, but you know when I notice the bad effects of stress? After it's already passed.

I get extreme joint stiffness and pain when I'm stressed, so it's hard not to notice.
It took me ages to link my delusions with stress, though. Well, that and my period -- which is odd, because I'm alright with handling stress in the middle of my cycle but one tiny thing out of order at the beginning/end and I'm a crying ball of chaos.

I get pain when I'm stressed too, but I think that also has a lot to do with the fact that during stressful times, I stop doing yoga & exercise because my brain is too active to remember to take care of myself.

Trust me, it took me a long time to make the connection myself! And what's worse is that distress AND eustress affect me with the same severity. I think it's no coincidence that my first noticeable rash of florid psychosis was right as I was moving in with my boyfriend.
And I hear you on the period-thing... I think my hormones are another huge stressor for my symptoms. Ovulation, PMS, during my period, & afterwards. So I don't have a lot of time I'm not at least PARTIALLY foggy-headed! Hahaha

[Gr3tta]

costello - if you ever really think you are being followed, the last place you should go is your own home!!! if possible drive to a police or fire station, or at least to a gas station/store, somewhere where there are people. i realize you may have to go out of your way to do this. maybe you could even turn into a neighbor's driveway until the person has passed, then go back to your own house.

...i do see the humor in your son recognizing your paranoia before you did though.

[likewater]

Carry wasp spray in your car. It shoots 20 ft. I keep it next to my bed if i'm alone.