[RunningEagleRuns]

i want to die. or at least I do sometimes, when im not in life threatening situations. when i am in life threatening situations (passing a tractor trailer on the highway, etc) i realize i dont want to die. im afraid of dying.

recently i was in the parking lot of a store waiting for my family and i was tempted to drive into one of the light poles.

today every car that passed me when i was driving i thought "maybe this will be the one to kill me"

i belive in god. I believe in heaven and hell too... im not the most rightoues person. but Gods word says when i die ill go to heaven so I'll believe it.

[RunningEagleRuns]

im afriad if i tell my therapist these things he would send me to a hospital... i hate those places.

[newtus]

every time i didi WAS sent to the hospital

LIE LIE LIE

[costello]

It's a shame you can't open up, but I understand why. You're not really in any imminent danger - it doesn't sound like. Maybe it can be discussed in terms of "life doesn't seem worthwhile right now" or "things seem hopeless." Or print off what you wrote above and give it to him or her.

Technically, at least in Kansas, they can't hospitalize you involuntarily unless you're an imminent danger to yourself.

[TheFreak]

I never had much look with a therapist. It never worked out but eventually, I'd speak in metaphors to get the point across...that's just me. It's easier telling strangers than telling rl people.

I think that you are a great person and you shouldn't die.

[KUREHA]

I used to tell my ex psychologist things like that - she was cool with it though, she just let me talk about it.

[fishsandwich]

Some Ts are happy to discuss suicidal thoughts but have enough nuance in their thinking that they can understand that thinking about these things is not necessarily the same as being a danger to yourself or others. Is there any chance you can suss out your T's position a bit?
I'm sorry you're having such thoughts. They're tough. I get them all the time, especially when I cross the road and such. (Mind, crossing a London road is pretty much like actively trying to off yourself, it's so wild.)

I know exactly what you mean. I'll have all these invasive thoughts & compulsions about injuring myself or dying. Sometimes it even feels like I have to actively fight my body against doing something stupid... But it's not that I want to die. I don't hate myself or my life. I just feel... Like I'm drawn to it? There's a certain disconnect of thought to the reason behind it. You just want it for no particular cause.

Hopefully your therapist will understand without thinking you are suicidal. Good luck.

[ickydog2006]

My T recently wanted to hospitalize me for similar talking, but was satisfied that as long as I keep me "I believe in God, and must wait till He takes me away (without my assistance)" attitude I was not a threat to myself or others.